Post # 1
Ive begun dress shopping for myself and in the process looked at some bridesmaids dresses and decided to have the girls in long black dresses. My mother (MOB) has said she would like to wear a long black dress which i am 100% ok with (because of her body type that is the color/length that will look best on her and she will be most comfie in)
I want MOG to be in a long black dress too as I do not want to see the family photos and see everyone in black with the exception of her and I.
Is it appropriate for me to tell her to wear a long black dress and give her the freedom to pick out the cut/style? Or should i just tell her a black dress and have her be the only one in a short dress? or do i just not say anything and hope she shows up in black? I do not know proper etiquette and do not want to upset her but i also want to not have her stand out in pictures.
Post # 3
i would sit down and talk to her about it. ask her what she’s comfortable with and go from there.
Post # 4
Honestly, I wouldn’t say anything. You could definitely ask her what she’s thinking about wearing. And if she asks you if you have a preference, then feel free to tell her. From what I’ve experienced so far, you don’t want to get caught up in those details. If everyone looks good and feels good, that will be so much better than if they’re all ‘matching’.
Post # 5
I’m inclined to say no here. My Future Mother-In-Law would have been furious if I told her what color to wear.
Post # 6
I agree with you ladies, but i am torn. I also dont want to have a group picture (our families together) where there will be 9 people in black (parents & siblings), me in white and then her in a red dress. it will draw the eye away in the picture and after all the pictures are what last a lifetime.
i appreciate all opinions…its always good to get different perspectives!
Post # 7
mm, you could just drop subtle hints about what the others are wearing. maybe show her pics of the other dresses, just because. maybe she will catch on and want to wear black too. maybe if she knew everyone else was wearing black, she wouldnt want to wear red and stand out?
Post # 8
@pjsoup: I wouldn’t sweat it. You’re not going to have that many pictures with all of you together. And who knows, she might pick black or gray or dark purple or something. But I think telling her will start things off on the wrong foot.
In my case, my BMs are wearing watermelon which looks lovely with my mom’s grass green dress. On the other hand, Future Mother-In-Law just bought a dress in “salmon”. It’s probably not going to look the greatest with the other dresses. But I figure, how many pictures are we all going to be in together?
Post # 9
Why not have your Fiance tell her all about what everyone else is wearing and let her draw her own conclusions? If he (excitedly) tells her how everyone will be wearing black, she may catch on by herself.
Post # 10
Honestly it depends on your relationship with your Future Mother-In-Law. If I were in this situation my Future Mother-In-Law would want me to tell her my preference.
Are you guys close? Do you feel that it would be easy to talk to her about this?
Post # 11
Future Mother-In-Law could def be on better terms these days. when planning things came into the picture our relationship took a turn downhill! i guess you ladies are probably right…not need to make the sitation worse by telling her what color to wear. i will just mention that everyone will be in black and hope for the best. and when the pictures come out, if i dont like the grou pshot (with both families) i just wont put it in the album!
thanks for your help