(Closed) Dress regret

posted 3 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
Member
2842 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Would you mind posting a photo of the dress?

We are our own worst enemies sometimes and I’m sure it’s not as bad as you are saying.

Post # 3
Member
80 posts
Worker bee

Do you have any pictures you’d like to post of the dress or you in it? It might help in getting opinions on what you should do.

I had dress regret when I got mine but quickly realized it was perfect. It had ruching which I didn’t want, no lace, and it was just plain tulle. I originally wanted either a lace fit and flare or a beaded top tulle ball gown and walked away with an all tulle mermaid with a train. I tried it on after I picked it up from David’s Bridal and knew it was the one. 

But, not everyone changes their mind. If you think it’s in your budget to get a new dress, go dress shopping and see if you find one you truly love. 

Post # 5
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2016

If it’s giving you this much angst and anxiety I would definitely say try on other dresses. For all you know this IS the one but you don’t have anything else to compare it to. Also, you’re totally right. After the big day your pics are all you have. You don’t want to look back in 20 years and say “Ugh, I hated my dress”. But do it soon. I ordered my dress in February for my August wedding and it arrived in mid-June and with alterations etc. you need to give yourself time. Best of luck! 

Post # 6
Member
1703 posts
Bumble bee

amgarcia217 :  

I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but I wouldn’t buy another dress…you will only wear it for a few hours out of your life…I think it would be a HUGE waste of money to get another dress – you can’t go back in time and have a “do-over”…I would work with the one you have…especially if you like it at least a little…I think there is too much pressure on finding “the one” and it messes with people’s heads.

Post # 7
Member
3874 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Like ct2015 said, there is such a huge idea about finding ‘the one’ that we get psyched out. Some people do have a ‘moment’ with their dress, but others like me just pick a nice one and go with it. In the end it’s just a dress, there is no ‘wrong’ choice. Some of the alterations you want are pretty straightforward, like buttons and a belt, and they could maybe let it out in the tight area. I’d take it to a seamstress and get a quote estimate. Then at least you know what you’re working with. Maybe it’s totally doable! Remember that a lot of people don’t get a dress with everything they would include in their absolute dream dress, but that’s ok. Also remember that professional photographers know how to make things look good, and the dress will probably look much better in their photos than your dress shop snaps.

This story of someone who hated their dress might help: http://apracticalwedding.com/2015/04/choose-wedding-dress-letting-go/

There was a bee here once who felt pressured into buying a dress and would literally cry and panic every time she looked at it. For that level of distress everyone told her to get a new dress. I guess only you can decide where on the scale you are!

Post # 8
Member
2251 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Don’t waste anymore money, especially money you don’t have. Clearly you have a beautiful dress on hand, is just you’re upset having pulled the trigger on your first dress appointment. I suggest rather than shopping more, to focus on better things, such as getting healthy for your wedding day.

Post # 9
Member
3971 posts
Honey bee

It soundslike you see alotof postivesin your dress.  Can someof the elemensts you feel are lacking be added? I think you should try on a few mere dresses to assess whether you have made the right choice or not.

I think you can’t judge the way the dress will photograph at this point. With hair, make up, heels, bouquet etc the dress will be lifted into a different realm + you will have a professional photographer on hand.

Post # 10
Member
767 posts
Busy bee

amgarcia217 :  I just had a big aggrivated weekend over this sort of thing. Not dress related, but over things like ‘I”m happy with the way we decorated the living room,but this and that isn’t what I originally wanted, so maybe I didn’t make the right decision’ forget what the sales woman said, if you tried the dress on again and feel very pretty, then it’s the dress!

Keep in mind, I’ve worked retail and inventory records can say one thing, but the real numbers of what is available can be totally different! She may have been telling you the truth!

I saw this happen with someone over a discontinued dress at davids bridal. They wanted a dress that had been discontinued, tracked it down at a shop near me, were so upset when they were told the dress had ”been sold to someone else” I checked with someone I knew working there and they told me the inventory had been wrong, and they just told her that.

I saw stop over thinking it, stop worrying about what should make you happy and just accessorize and love the dress that made you feel like a bride! 🙂 Good advice for us both!

Post # 11
Member
470 posts
Helper bee

If it helps, I did go to David’s Bridal and they let me do an exchange. I explained to them I had gotten a dress that wasn’t the silhouette I originally intended, and it was really bothering me. Plus, the dress I had wanted to try on in the first place was out of my budget, but had dropped in price. They told me as long as I picked a dress that was of same or higher value I could exchange.

Post # 12
Member
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I dont get why people are like “omg what would you do if you didnt get it and we came back and it wasnt here?!” umm the dress is gonna be there if you decide to come back. And if not it could have been found at another store location or ordered online.

I would never buy a dress until I slept on it.

Post # 14
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I don’t think it would hurt to go check out other dresses- if anything you might get some closure- you either really dislike dress #1,  or you find that you actually can live with it. Your guy sounds amazing btw. Is there any chance you could just return the dress though? If you’ve only just bought it and haven’t made any changes, it should be returnable. 5 months is still and ok amount of time, I don’t really know how long alterations, etc take, but if you started looking right away, you might just get lucky. You could also consider used dresses or something from a second hand shop to save money. Though I agree that there is almost too much pressure on having The Pefect Dress that we can physch ourselves out- I also feel like (if you’re anything like me) it’s the most special day, and it would be something that would be a huuuge letdown if I didn’t feel pretty/satisfied with my dress on my wedding day! Follow your heart, after all it’s YOUR wedding. We all make impulse decisions that we later regret at least once in our lives- try not to beat yourself up over it!

Post # 14
Member
27 posts
Newbee

I was in a similar situation. I actually put a deposit down on two different dress before I picked the final one. I canceled the orders soon enough after ordering that I didn’t lose any money and what I previously paid went towards the final dress. The two dresses I ordered before were beautiful dresses and they looked beautiful on me but it wasn’t quite right. I love the dress I have now and I am so glad I never settled for just okay. Your wedding is going to be the most photographed day of your life. You don’t want to look at the photos with regret. Don’t settle. 

Post # 15
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I am so sorry to hear this. Your story sounds so much like mine and I know how upsetting and guilty it feels. My wedding was this past spring.  I went shopping last fall with my sister who is very opinionated and has a very different style than me – so I should have known better than to do that but she was my maid of honor and I really wanted her there. That on top of the pushy sales people, I ended up rushing into my decision to purchase a dress that was NOTHING like what I wanted going into it. I felt like there were so many other styles that would have been so much more flattering and pretty on me, and I felt like it didn’t suit my personality or style at all. So, 5 months before the wedding I finally decided no matter what alterations I could do to the dress it still wouldn’t be enough to satisfy me. I put the dress up for sale on preownedweddingdresses.com and came up with plan B. 

I doubted that I would be able to sell the dress and doubted I would be able to find another dress in 5 months (both not true), so I went searching for a new dress that was cheap and quick delivery.  I ended up finding one that was MUCH better than the first dress i found for sure, but still just “pretty good”, not “WOW”. I bought it and wore it on my wedding day, relieved that at least I didn’t have to wear the original one I bought, but still disappointed in the situation.  I think for the rest of my life I will always wish I could go back and just put the extra bit of money and effort into finding a dress I LOVED, and not worry so much about what my parents or sister thought or how it would go a little over budget. It is possible to find a dress in 5 months, people do it all the time. Don’t let the sales people con you, they are professionals and will many times say whatever they can to make a sale. Maybe it will take a bit more money to add a rush order in some cases, but in my opinion, spending a bit more money would have been worth not having to feel this regret and disappointment.  I ended up being able to sell my original dress on preownedweddingdresses.com for like 70% of the original price about 3 months after posting it, so when all was said and done I ended up coming in UNDER BUDGET. If I could go back and do it again, I’d keep searching. If nothing else it will give you some peace of mind! 

Hope this helps. Just know that it’s not the end of the world if you wear one you don’t love. When I look at my wedding pictures I am still happy, I just wish I had done more and not limited myself so much. Glad to hear your fiance is supportive though it – so was mine and I am so grateful for that!!! 

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