- 3 years ago
So I went into David’s Bridal for ideas on what would look best silhouette-wise on me. I had planned to do more dress shopping, and had appointments at other bridal shops; I was not planning to buy a dress that day. However, I left the appointment with a dress. Basically, it was the first dress I felt good in–because all the others looked just terrible and were not my style at all, very unflattering on my body type. I’m plus size so I had fewer options to try on. I tried on maybe 10-12 dresses before the one I left with and I hated pretty much all of them.
I think I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I was finally feeling like a bride, so it was difficult to separate that from my feelings about the dress itself. Also, my sister kept saying “you haven’t liked any dress yet! I think this is the one! If we left and you tried on more dresses and you didn’t find one you like, and then you came back and it wasn’t here anymore, would you be upset?” And I said yes, in the scenario that I didn’t find anything better I would be upset, but here’s the thing: I didn’t KNOW if there was anything better out there so I felt kind of pressured by that. And then the salesgirl said “we only have one dress left in the warehouse, we don’t make this one anymore!” which I found out wasn’t true by checking each week online and the dress was still available to order in my size, even now! I’m upset that I was conned in this way and trusted her to tell me the truth when I’m sure she gets commission for each sale and I really should have known better.
As soon as the receipt was signed, I felt panic set in. I felt like I shouldn’t have said yes, I should have kept looking, I should have slept on it. I kept saying how excited I was that I had found the dress and how much I liked it, but I always felt like I was trying to convince myself. I brushed off those feelings telling myself I probably just needed to put the gown on again and then I would love it.
Then the dress came in and I went to pick it up. I put it on and felt pretty in it again, but that nagging feeling was still there that this wasn’t the right decision. The more I look at the photos, the less I like it. I realized I like the dress in person but I hate it in photographs, which is a huge problem because after the wedding that’s ALL you have left are the photos! On top of that, I think the only thing I really loved about the dress was the silhouette–sheath, and this was the first and only sheath I tried on. And there are so many things I have to ADD to it in order for it to feel like THE dress, like sleeves, and buttons, and lace to the back, a belt, plus I have to lose weight for it to look really good in it (just FYI, it is the correct size, but it hugs in one spot that I would prefer it flowed a bit better) and I feel like that is so much stuff for it to be the “right” dress. I wouldn’t mind if it was just one or two things but I feel like that’s a lot of stuff in order to transform the dress to get it to a point where I actually love it.
I sort of mentioned it to my sister and she tried to tell me she loves the dress and I look so good in it etc, and then she mentioned to my dad that I might not like my gown and it really stressed him out (he is paying for a majority of the wedding) so I haven’t said anything to them since but they can tell something is bothering me, because this is seriously causing me distress. I’m embarrassed to talk about it with anyone but my fiancé. He’s been so sweet and understanding about it and has offered to take me to look at gowns in other boutiques, which I’m thinking about doing. But my worries aren’t calmed because my wedding is in January so I don’t know if I would even have time to order a new dress, plus we don’t have anything extra in our budget. My fiancé says we could figure something out if I do end up finding the right dress, but I feel so guilty and foolish.
I know this is common. I guess I’m just looking for advice. Should I go try on more dresses and risk spending more $$ on a second dress, or just settle and try to alter it with a seamstress to get it closer to what I actually want (which could potentially cost just as much as a second dress)? Is it worth it to buy a second dress that you love and just be out $1000+? Can you even get a dress with less than 5 months to the wedding? And has anyone had any luck selling their unused gowns on websites like tradesy? I just don’t really know what to do. I’m simultaneously sad and angry with myself for making this decision without REALLY thinking about it first, even after I told myself I wouldn’t do this.