(Closed) Dress Regret?

posted 8 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I am a two dress bride and yes my advice would be to wait 4-5 months before your wedding….unless you want a specific designer that takes 7-8 months for the gown to be ordered, but even then you are bound to see others you like.  I was so excited to buy a gown…its hard to get family members and friends to have time to go shopping with you so I felt like OK I’m going to get one, and then found an incredible dress months later looking for alterations for my original gown and fell in love with it.  I sold the first one and wore the one I loved.  It’s very frustrating and I felt so guilty even though I paid for it all….I don’t like wasting money and it was so hard to do something like that, but I got married at 40 and I knew I would regret it if I didn’t get the second dress and the price was too good to pass up! Wait as long as you can and shop by yourself a few times, I found mine on my own!

Post # 5
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I wouldn’t buy a dress on your first shopping trip out especially if you just got engaged. I bought a dress while shopping “just for fun” with a group of girlfriends right after I got engaged before I knew what I wanted and ended up buying a gown that I thought was “the one.” I was able to get a full refund (thankfully) but wish that I wouldn’t have had to go through that hassle and would just have waited. Plus, I wanted to buy my dress with my mom & dad so it was nice that on my second time around, I had them there to help/support me in picking the right gown. I think it is easy to get caught up in the moment with pushy sales ladies and friends.

It seems like most women go through some worries about their gowns which is totally normal given that it is a huge event! Just something to keep in mind…

Post # 6
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

3 wks ago, I purchased a dress and cancelled it the following morning because my gut told me it wasn’t the ONE.  I purchased it initially because everyone was telling me that it takes 4-6 mos. for a wedding dress to be delivered and that I didn’t have time.  So my advice is to go dress shopping early and don’t feel pressured into buying any dress unless you love it, not for any other reasons.

My issue is not dress envy or dress regret but more afraid that Fiance won’t like the dress.  Luckily, the ladies here helped me overcome that feeling.  Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I bought my first dress because it was on sale and it was discontinued.  The sales person told me that if I didn’t purchase it right then, it would be gone.  It was the first place I went shopping.  Anyways, I feel like I got pressured into buying that dress (the salesperson was way too pushy for my liking).  I had been engaged for 8 months by that point (18 month engagement total) and this was the first wedding task I really did.  I wish I had thought about it for a day or two before buying it, but I felt like it would be gone.  I ended up buying a second dress several months later…

Post # 8
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

See, I’m completely opposite. I bought my dress at a sample sale at a bridal fair three days after I got engaged, and it’s a year long engagement. And I’m still in love with it.

I think it just really depends. I’m super lucky because my dress hit everyone of my dream requirements (classic but unique, lace, straps, on sale haha). It probably just depends. I’ve looked at other dresses in bride magazines, and while I think some are nice, I know the one I have is the one.

Post # 9
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think I could boil most of it down to: People have a tendency to change their minds! Also based on stress (that pushy sales lady or not getting your peeps to come with you) a person could be inclined to choose something that they wouldn’t normally. The sheer pressure alone of the fact this dress is going to be worn for a once in a lifetime occasion could addle anyone’s brain! 

Post # 10
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

First of all, don’t buy a dress until you have a venue and know the general “feel” of your wedding. You don’t want to pick a ballgown and then end up with a beach wedding! Make sure you know how you want your wedding to look and then you will feel comfortable about finding a dress that works with your overall theme of the day.

When you shop for dresses, definitely have an open mind and try on a few, but don’t go overboard and try on everything you think is pretty. I think the biggest thing to ask your self is “Do I feel like “me” in this dress?”, “Will it really complement the tone I want for the wedding?” and “Can I imagine walking down the aisle toward my soon to be husband withOUT this dress?!?!”

I knew as soon as I got engaged what kind of dress I wanted (thick straps, scalloped neckline, all lace) and I haven’t regretted it since! However, when I am browsing through all the beautiful wedding blogs, I’ll see a bride in a very different dress than mine and totally lust after it. For a split second I will be like “ahh! I want THAT!” but then I think about how I feel when I try on my own dress and I’m like, wait a minute… I LOVE my dress, why am I having second thoughts? It is okay to admire other dresses, but don’t tempt yourself! The same with engagement rings… I will see other brides rings and suddenly fall in love with ones that aren’t anything like mine. Then I look at the one on my finger and think, “Oh this ring is so ME. I love my ring and while there are a million others that are gorgeous, mine is perfect for me”

Bottom line, don’t purchase the dress unless you think it’s The One. And after that, never second guess it… you chose it for a reason!

Post # 11
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I fell in love with my dress right off the bat, it was the first one I tried on and the others after just didnt compare. I still love it but the alterations werent done right. I wanted the chest and waist taken in a lot like an old school corset style, real tight. Well it was taken in way too much, Im talking 2″ or so at the top. Being that its a corset back I am able to loosen it, but the modest panel is too small for it and cant go across the opening. I dont want to wear my dress without it cause I personally dont like the look but I am so stressed because I didnt think something like this would happen just 1 week shy of my wedding. I am going in monday to explain th eproble. Along with them taking in the sleeves too much on my bolero jacket, my arms cant reach up high enough to hug anyone or even slow dance properly cause they are too tight. The lady at the shop was lazy and didnt want to lace me up (now i know why) and I had both my toddlers with me so it wasnt easy for me to focus on the dress. I didnt even try on the bolero. Im starting to have “alteration regret” rather than dress regret, but still, its a real bummer…

Post # 12
Member
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

OMG, I have SUCH Dress regret.  

I tried on a ton of dresses.   I thought I had settled on a dress.   I was so happy, then I took my mom and sisters to see it.  The look on their face said it all, they hated my dress that I had been fantasizing about for months.  

So we tried on other dresses.   I tried one on that I seemed to like.  It had almost all of the points that I loved about previous dresses.  I bought it on the spot with approval from the family.  I had my sister take a picture of me in it.  I got home and looked at the picture and I HATE the dress.   $2000 down the toilet.

Post # 13
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve got some dress regret, but it’s regret I can live with. Mine’s a DB dress – and I never intended to use DB other than to figure out what style worked on me. Standing there in a dress that I kept putting back on between other dresses and having everyone nod and smile at it was all, “Wow – I could be DONE with this NOW!” I ordered the dress (it was on sale) that day.

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Side-Draped-Fit-Flare-Gown-with-Applique-Detail-WG3032_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-Mermaid-Trumpet

When it came in, it was very wrinkled and didn’t seem to ask pretty or nicely fitting as before. Part of it could be I had the wrong slip in while I was trying on dresses the first time, so it gave my weak butt a nice boost. 

THEN my sister in law to be got engaged and JUMPED our wedding for “budget” reasons that proved totally false because she went with Maggie Sottero’s Adorae (not used). And so our dresses have similar lines, but hers is obviously way more luscious and expensive and it’ll look like I copied her with a cheap knock-off. ARGH! Plus she’s a size 0 and one of those that has the nerve to claim I’m smaller than her, though I’m wearing a 4 (I know, I can’t complain about my size, but really …)

So, my poor dress really has a hard time winning me over. I did a big no-no and tried on another dress at DB when I was finding a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress for my MOH’s wedding (2 weeks after me, busy summer) – and loved it! It was one I had picked out for DB but they didn’t have in near my size when I was there. DO NOT DO THAT! It was still fit and flarish, but halter topped and fancier and for even $100 less than my dress. SInce I had done nothing to my dress, I asked DB if I could exchange at an even price (they’d technically make a profit) but they just tried to convince me I should wear both dresses.

So, I decided to suck it up and accept that the first dress will be my dress. It’s now pressed and hemmed and hanging in the MIL’s house: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/6970265238/” title=”IMG_20120422_153642 by sabescribe, on Flickr”><img src=”http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8155/6970265238_75cc663e45.jpg” width=”350″ height=”466″ alt=”IMG_20120422_153642″></a> (I’ve hung it better since I took the pic). It looks prettier and shinier than I remember it being when it came fresh off the truck and it looked all right when I had it on for the fitting. http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/7116338791/

When it comes down to it, it’s just a dress for a big party. An expensive dress for an expensive party. I’ll be married either way. I’m not in love with the dress, but I don’t hate it. I regret not taking more time (there have been so many gorgeous dresses on here), but dress shopping was anticipated to be an uncomfortable chore (I have a hard time finding clothes that fit right, I’m short with wide rib cage and short torso with barely a waist line – and 34D), but I had a great consultant and the dress was light and easy to move in while giving me waistline. So, I was caught up in the moment.

Post # 14
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I bought the Adorae and have dress regret because everyone else bought the Adorae. You are lucky you are not wearing the Adorae!

Post # 15
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m starting to feel a bit of dress regret and mostly it’s because my mom said she would purchase my dress for me but when it came to actually looking for dresses she hated the ones I p[icked out and I strongly disliked the ones that she liked. Even tually I felt pressured into picking a dress and was content with one my mom and grandma loved. Now trying to plan my wedding day look I can’t help but feel like it’s nothing like I wanted to look like on my wedding day because of the kind of dress we got. I spent a lot of time looking at dresses trying them on etc but nothing seemed to ever work and it wore me down. Now I’m not exccited to put it on I’m not excited for my future husband to see me in it. I’m hoping I’ll get over this and just appreciate the dress and still feel pretty in it at my fittings but right now I don’t.

Post # 16
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2012

So I put a deposit on a dress (fri 13th) and today Sunday, I’m fesling like I made a rush in doing so. I feel like its not the one now and my wedding is theater awadidn’t at the same time I know it’s not the one buti don’t want to be out of the deposit either the issue is there is never a sample size that fits my body type so I am worried about getting a dress I couldn’t actually try on .. This sucks.. Anyone with encouraging words 

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