(Closed) Dress regret because of body regret?

posted 5 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
Member
409 posts
Helper bee

I doubt it’s as bad as you think, dear! Usually we magnify everything in our heads, especially our worries and our perception of ourselves. 

Some pics would help, though! It’s difficult to judge like this. 

Post # 5
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

I agree, YOU LOOK SO AMAZING!!!!!!!!

Post # 6
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

View original reply
eknobz31415 : 

You are absolutely STUNNING!!!! I looked at your picture and went Whoa I wish i looked like that! You are so beautiful and that dress is so so gorgeous  and looks just amazing on you!!! Please please take off your “critics glasses” and put on your “objective glasses” – you look just beautiful!!

 

 

 

Post # 7
Member
7637 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes I’m with anyone else. Ignore your mother and sister, you look gorgeous! Hopefullly you can bring someone more supportive if/when you do alterations.

Post # 8
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

View original reply
eknobz31415 :  you look amazing! Your figure is TO DIE FOR <3

The important question, however, is how does the dress make you feel? Do you feel beautiful when you wear it? Does it make you feel like a Bride? Can you imagine walking down the aisle in it? 

If it’s a yes to all these questions, then don’t regret that dress one bit. The important thing is how you feel in the dress, not what others think <3

x

Post # 9
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

View original reply
eknobz31415 :  that dress is beautiful and it looks stunning on you.

My body issues did influence how I felt about my dress. In the lead up to the wedding I panicked that I just wouldn’t look good enough. Also I had originally wanted a lace dress but they just didn’t suit me. So those combined made me think I’d bought my dress too soon and I could have found something better. I had a melt down because I also didn’t want to wear Spanx on the day so I spammed pictures of my dress to my bridesmaid asking if I was making the worst mistake ever and did I need Spanx and how do I pee in Spanx. I must have sent about 20 messages over the space of about an hour and a half.

I had to keep reminding myself why I’d picked the dress and what I’d liked about it. On the day, you have your hair and makeup done. You have all your jewellery and it combines with your dress and you do feel kind of special, maybe even beautiful. Then when you see your partner you’ll definitely feel beautiful, DH kept touching little details on my dress with a little smile. I do still think maybe if I spent longer looking I wouldn’t have felt so much anxiety around my dress but I am a worrier. So regardless of how many dresses I looked at I would have still worried if I made the right choice and looking back now I’d still wonder if tried on enough/too many/should have gone with that other one. Basically there isn’t a situation in which I wouldn’t worry and more than likely if I wasn’t worrying I’d probably worry why I wasn’t worrying!

I’d say stop stressing but it’s not that easy. You can’t just stop having issues with your body just because you’ve found a beautiful dress. Your partner loves you as you are and will think themselves the luckiest person in the world on the day. You are always going to be your own worst critic.

Post # 10
Member
270 posts
Helper bee

Oh Wow you look phenomenal in that dress, I think it was the perfect choice for your figure. Seriously, you say you don’t think you can look better in anything else, well I wouldn’t even bother trying, cause you look so damn good in that dress it would be hard to beat. Please Bee stop being so hard on yourself.

Post # 11
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Ocean front

You couldn’t have picked a more perfect and BEAUTIFUL dress!!!!

OWN it you girl…..cuz you look stunning and classy in that dress!!

Post # 12
Member
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

That’s a beautiful dress on you but I would probably remove illusion netting and add tulle halter neck ties (then you can also wear a proper halter bra – though I understand if that would put neck strain from the weight), if adding tulle straps I suggest they are stitched slightly wider at the neckline sides to give slightly more coverage, and in alterations make sure they fit the bodice to follow the contour of your torso/ribcage under your chest to make sure it doesn’t look like boobs-straight-to-waist.

Your figure is to die for and I’m sorry you didn’t feel the support from your mom & sister about this particular dress. Often family could have an all white traditional idea of what it should be so pay no attention, it’s your day not theirs.

Post # 13
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

…. What ? That dress looks amazing on you! YOU look amazing!!! I’d pay dollars to look like you! Don’t you dare feel bad about your looks!

Post # 14
Member
1409 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Ah, bee. what a shame you are feeling bad about your dress (which you look lovely in).

I re-read your post to see what you wanted, and it seems to be ‘support’, so I’ll try to give that as well as my own experience.

I’m also larger busted but not as much as you (about 30E when I got married) and I’m fairly short and hourglass shaped. We both have a good bust so let’s be grateful! There are worse afflictions in life! 😉

The funny thing is that you are blaming your dissatisfaction on your larger bust but my dress was totally different to yours (a corsetted mermaid), and I’ve seen bees with your shape in more sheath like styles as well as ballgowns, so try to think that actually you DID have a choice and you just grativated naturally to the Penelope they way I gravitated to my mermaid.

But I’m a bit sympathetic. I have to say I did feel limited in what I wore because being so curvy, I have to have clothes quite well fitted at the waist or I look a lot fatter than I am. I adored the backless look but I knew I’d look dumpy without my boobs lifted up, so I tried dresses with all those gorgeous pretty little buttons down the back but in the end I went for a corset as it provided the best lift.

In your case I think the dress could maybe do with a bit more lift so I would get the back filled as you suggested, or straps added, plus I recommend a very structured strapless bra like the Gossard Ultraboost or Wonderbra strapless ones (the latter has the best lift with a looser dress, the Gossard is better under a tighter dress) – they do come in big sizes.

I saw a comment the other day by a bee quoting “I have two weddings- my real one and my Pinterest one”. I think the same applies here: “I had 2 wedding dresses- my actual one and the one I’d have worn if i were 50lbs lighter/4 inches taller/small busted/bigger busted/more olive skinned/younger/older etc etc. It can be annoying but you have to work with what you’ve got. And almost everyone here on the bee has some ‘flaw’ or doesn’t suit every dress. Probably less than 1 in 10 bees could wear ANY dress. 

I think you are judging the dress too harshly because it’s just a phone shot in a changing room, no make-up, veil or jewellery. You will look stunning when your day comes. I googled this dress and it’s super pretty. You’ll be surprised how the accessories bring the look together.

Keep looking at other brides wearing your dress on line to inspire you, and then move on from the dress to the more fun bit of how to accessorise it!

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