(Closed) Dress Regret Keeping Me Up at Night – Wedding in May. HELP!

posted 7 years ago in Dress
Post # 16
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee

Doubt the bridal shop does returns. If they did, every Bee would be returning and exchanging their dresses.

And sample gowns will always look different than brand new ones. The lace and material will be stiff and not flattened by many women trying the dress on. 

If your budget was 2x the Pronovias, I would sell this one on Tradesy or PreOwned and get a new dress.

If you have to ask in the first place, you know your answer…

Post # 17
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Winery

If it’s really going to bother you that much and if you have the budget for a new dress, I would get the one you really want. You can always recoup some of your money by selling the Pronovias on one of the resale sites. Since your wedding is so soon you might be limited to sample sales or brands with a shorter turnaround time, though.  

 

For what it’s worth, I think both dresses look great on you. You have the figure to rock a lot of different dresses! 

Post # 19
Member
702 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
LadyH:  can I tell you that you’re nuts? You look amazing!! The only thing I would suggest is to make sure it’s altered properly in the waist/hips, I’m a firm believer that a nice silhouette makes a dress. 

I felt the same way about my dress, and when it came in and I looked at the photos my mom took, I thought I was going to hurl. It looked HIDEOUS on me. I ended up just taking it home and stressing (I was stressing for 7 months waiting for it to come in too, with major dress regret). I tried it on at home alone. Turns out that when I tried the dress on at the salon, it wasn’t sitting high enough so that half my boobs were sticking out and looked like terrible armpit fat, and a flat butt on my chest. To top it off, it was laced all wonky, like tight at the top (so major backfat going on) and loose in the waist. Ya, wtf. I’d post pictures but it’s embarassing. Needless to say, once it was tried on at home and laced properly, it looked like a different dress. I’m loving it now. 

Honestly your dress is gorgeous and I would consider alterations in the waist for a proper fit, having it steamed so the skirt fits properly, and go from there. And for what it’s worth, I really love the neckline.

And don’t show too many people your dress. It’s the same as not telling people what you want to name your baby before it’s born. Someone will always make you feel crappy about and you’ll second guess yourself constantly.

Post # 20
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I was in a similar situation a few months ago. I bought a dress that was way below my budget — and ended up feeling a deep, deep regret for the following months. I tried to convince myself that I would love the dress when it was fully accessorized and when I was all dolled up… but alas, that didn’t really work. 

My fiance is the one who actually encouraged me to get another dress.  Basically, he told me that if I was having so many doubts about the dress, I should just go and get another one. And, so I did! I ended up finding a great deal on a preowned site. I love my second dress. ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s been months since I’ve gotten it, and I’ve watched many, many episodes of “Say Yes to the Dress” in between. Still no regret over the second one, so I think I’m in the clear!

I think if you have the budget for it, I’d go and take a look at sample sales. The dress is important! But, before you do, ask yourself if what’s bothering you is something that can be fixed by alterations. If not, then I would definitely consider looking around a bit more. Your dress is going to be in your wedding photos, your wedding videos, etc, etc. Get something you truly love.

As an aside, when we got my fiance’s tux, we spent approximately 30 minutes at Men’s Wearhouse. Done, and done. So much easier compared to dress shopping!

Post # 21
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

Sorry you dont quite love your dress!!! I loved the sample and you’re right, the actual dress does look quite different. That being said, it still looks AMAZING on you!!! If you can sell it or return it, then great. Otherwise, maybe a quick alteration of the lacy neckline might work? I’m sure it’ll still look great on the tuille skirt. 

Post # 23
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee

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LadyH:  First off, I think you look beautiful in your dress!  But if you’re not happy, look for another dress.  I have been where you are.  When I showed my sister pics of my first dress (just after purchasing), she told me she didn’t like it… that it wasn’t “me”.  Of course, that totally shook my confidence and I came to dislike the first dress, couldn’t sleep, etc.  Then I found another dress that I felt was perfectly me!  I felt such a relief when I purchased the second dress.  My issue now is that having finally found a dress that I am happy with, Fiance accidentally saw a picture of me in that second dress.  Though that’s likely not an issue you would have to worry about!

Post # 24
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee

Hi LadyH ๐Ÿ™‚ Unfortunately, I know exactly how you feel.  I had dress regret for months and tried to get over it. When I brought up the possibility of looking for a new dress to my fiancé and mom a while ago, they were not receptive to the idea. I went back to try on the sample a couple of times over the last four months, and hoped to love it as much as I did when I first tried the dress on. I tried it with a veil and belt, which really helped, but was still afraid I made the wrong decision. When my dress came in, I should have been excited but instead was afraid to try it on, or start alterations, because I knew after that there would be no going back. I think I was stressing about it in my sleep too! 

A couple of weeks ago, I tried on a few other dresses and ended up buying a new one.  Unfortunately, I was unable to return the Leiben, so I will have to sell.  It’s really a beautiful dress. I just didn’t think it was the perfect dress for me.  

The dress looks great on you; however, since you have had these feelings for a while now, I would advise looking for a new dress. It is possible to find a sample or a dress that will ship quickly. I was worried about getting a new dress in time for my May wedding as well. Luckily, the one I ordered was already in production and arrived in less than two weeks! I am still on schedule and my first fitting is in a couple of weeks. Other than some concerns about the new dress being too ivory, I love it and feel so much better! I hope you can find a new dress, or end up loving the Leiben with alterations ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 26
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
LadyH:  No, I’m not (not yet anyway) but I spent a while looking at dresses with my best friend when she got engaged and I remember that exact dress. She probably tried it on 10 times but decided to get something else. I dont remember there being lace around the sweetheart neckline. 

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