Post # 1
So I didn’t think I would be “this bride” but I totally regret the dress that I bought. I fell in love with a different dress first but didn’t buy it. Now, I am now considering buying the first dress even though I also think that is pretty silly since I have already spent money on buying and altering a dress and will be very unlikely to be able to re-sell it at any sort of recoup of the original cost. I never gave much thought to the importance of a wedding dress even when I was shopping but now that my wedding is drawing near, it seems more important.
I also don’t even know if I find the first dress that I actually want to wear because the reason I didn’t order it in the first place was because the store couldn’t guarantee it would arrive in time. So now I’m scouring second hand wedding sites trying to find someone (ANYONE!) that will sell the dress. To date, I’ve only found the dress in a size way too big (too many sizes to be able to reasonably alter and still look good) and even worse, a size too small. I also placed a classified here so I guess I’m taking some control over the situation by trying to find it but it’s still trying me crazy. I hate obsessing over what should be a small item but I also have this ‘vision’ in my head of myself in the first dress and I just can’t get it out. It was super simple and I felt beautiful in it.
The dress I bought (was cheap and on sample sale – so it was immediately available which appealed to me at the time) is more of a traditional wedding dress with bustle and I feel kind of ridiculous in it – like a grown up woman trying to play dress up, which is just not me.
Did anyone buy an additional dress (that was out of their budget) because they thought it would make them happier on their wedding day? Did it make you happier? Did anyone buy a new dress and regret it?
Did anyone think the dress was a big deal until the wedding came and went and they realized it didn’t even matter? Did anyone think the dress wasn’t a big deal until the wedding came and went and they realized that it did matter?
Just trying to get some perspective, thanks!!
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I think a little bit of dress regret is natural- woulda coulda is inevitable. With the wedding date so close, however, it looks like it will be the dress you have.
If you don’t LOVE it, maybe get yourself something sassy for the rehearsal dinner. Or- a second dress for the reception. You wrote that it was super simple- any similar dresses w/ JCrew or Ann Taylor? We got bridemaids dresses from JCrew super speedy.
Post # 4
Can you alter the dress you have any more? If it’s poufy, remove some of the crinoline, cut off the train (so kill the bustle), change up the neckline, add some bling, remove some bling, add a bolero, even change the skirt shape (say, A-line to mermaid, or vice versa)? Any of that (hell, all of that) would probably be cheaper than buying a new dress.
That said, if the dress that’s a size too small hasn’t been altered smaller from its original size, you might be able to make it fit- generally wedding dresses can be taken up a size or two. That might be something to ask the seller.
And the dress is not the be-all-end-all. You’re the bride- you’ll look gorgeous in a potato sack. As long as it fits you beautifully, you’ll be amazing.
Post # 5
I think it doesn’t matter that much. There are infinate dresses you can pick from, so if you keep looking you’ll always find something that you think you like better. You just have to pick one (instead of thinking of it as “the one“) that you like and looks good, that you can afford, and go with it.
Post # 6
I had major dress regret, but a new dress was out of budget and I figured what I had was good enough. After the wedding, I really regret not getting a dress I actually liked. I feel like I missed my one opportunity to wear a beautiful wedding dress and I hate the way I look in the photos. Every bride is different, but if you try the dress on, wait a week, and still hate it, I’d advise looking for something else.
Post # 7
As someone who was in your shoes exactly one week ago, I can empathize. I finally admitted my first dress was not the right dress and no matter how small, or “silly” or trivial it might seem to someone else this is your wedding dress. It’s really freaking important to YOU. I knew that when I woke up on the morning of my wedding I didn’t want to have the sinking feeling that I had made the wrong choice. We are also spending a pretty penny on photography and videography and I didn’t want to hate my photos and video because I hated my dress. It was the right choice for me, but you have to do what’s best for you. If you can afford it, I would say go for it. Good luck and keep us posted!
Post # 8
Update: I found the dress! I was so obsessed with finding it, finally gave in to the most likely reality that I wouldn’t find it, ignored it for a few days and then, viola!, there it was! For sale, from a bride from my home state (which I took to be a good omen). At the time, I wasn’t exactly sure what size I would wear and knew it might be close but once I ordered it, I felt so much relief and a weight come off me. And I didn’t even know if the dress would fit yet! The dress arrived, it was everything I hoped for and even a bit baggy (so no crazy, unnecessary dieting needed to fit into it). I found someone who could alter it in just two weeks for a low price because its so simple. Buying it new from a bride, with alteration costs, was still cheaper than if I had bought it from the original boutique (pre-alteration costs) that couldn’t guarantee an ontime delivery. I pick up my dress this weekend and have been positively giddy since I found it. I know I made the right decision, even if it was silly or financially irresponsible. I will sell the first dress but even if it doesn’t sell well, we are still fine on money, so I don’t feel too bad. And I had future husband’s support the whole time to do what felt right to me. Yay!
Thanks everyone for all the advice but in the end I have to say that I agree that pictures were one area that was highly important to us, and I knew if I had to wear that first dress, I would look back thinking about how I didn’t like the dress. I also wouldn’t have felt beautiful and i feel that would have shown in the pictures as well.
Post # 9
@BlissBliss: I love reading success stories!
Post # 10
I’m glad it worked out! Do you have pics? Or at least a designer and style number? I’m so curious what this “had to have” dress looks like!
FWIW, I now have 3 dresses, but it’s because I bought the first two online without trying them on. I then found another in a store for only $200 that fits me without alteration, and I’m still thinking about wearing one of the first two dresses at the reception. I was trying so hard to stay in my tight budget and ended up with two dresses that I couldn’t be happy with as-is. Looking back I would have actually saved money if I’d just splurged on a dress I loved in the first place. Lesson learned.