Dress Regret – Volume 2304

posted 4 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Should I...
    stop being so annoying and wear the 8850 : (7 votes)
    19 %
    bit the bullet, apologize profusely to my mom, and buy the 9068 (and sell the 8850) : (27 votes)
    73 %
    start from scratch and find something that isn't either of those 2 dresses so that the element of su : (3 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 2
    80 posts
    Worker bee

    Well, you can save the surprise a bit by telling your fiancé that you’ve decided on one of the two dresses, but that you’re not going to tell him which. And you’ll look different in person, with hair and makeup done, etc., so it won’t be completely familiar anyway.

    I’m not sure what to say about the dress choice itself, though. I’ve been having a hard time finding a dress that feels like “me,” so I completely understand that it’s important. At the same time, my search has definitely been influenced by what my loved ones think about the dresses I’ve tried on. So if you hadn’t already bought a dress, I would have suggested finding one you like better that also has your mom’s approval (since you seem to really respect her opinion).

    It’s a tough call now that you’ve found one, though. If you want to get another dress, you could smooth things over by making sure your mom understands that the 8850 isn’t working out now that it’s the wrong size and being altered and everything. I have a friend who loved her dress, but had to find a new one because of alteration problems. If you can spin it that way, it might help. But knowing myself, I’d probably just stick with the one that I already have and try to change my mindset about it (by focusing on the good things about it, etc).

    Just a thought – you might also be able to compromise and get a reception dress that’s more comfortable and more your style.

    Post # 3
    2575 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    rubysparks:  How about having the 8850 altered to better fit your vision?  Then it would be a dress your Fiance hasn’t seen yet, so you preserve the surprise.  Having straps added is not all that expensive, especially if you have to hem your dress and have fabric left over.  It’s certainly less than $500, I think they told you that to sell you a capelet (which is beautiful by the way, I’m sure you could easily sell it if you don’t want to wear it yourself).  You could also take out whatever additional layers are under the dress and have it taken in around the hips and upper thigh to fit with your fit and flare vision.  A good seamstress can really transform a dress, and the dress you have is beautiful lace which is what you’re looking for anyway.  And while the 9068 is very pretty I have to admit I prefer the 8850, the 9068 looks a little too much like lingere to me.  Good luck!

    Post # 5
    1555 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Pictures of u in the dresses would be helpful if you have them. 

    Post # 6
    2575 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    ce0604:  I’m no expert, like it takes me 20 minutes of swearing to thread a needle, and I don’t know if they could bring it in that much but I’m sure they could bring it in to a point.  How do you like the Allure 9125?  That might be an easier to achieve goal, but hey a good seamstress might be able to rebuild the skirt completely to make it like that photo.  You have plenty of fabric there, definitely something to look into!

    Post # 9
    2575 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    ce0604:  I know it doesn’t help because everyone tells you this and you just aren’t feeling it, but you look amazing in your dress (without capelet…you were 100% spot-on about the grandma vibe).  I like it 10x more than the second, but you have to love it too.  If you have it altered post photos after!

    Post # 10
    3600 posts
    Sugar bee

    You look divine in both dresses (lucky you!).  How about getting one of those sheer upper bodice things added to the Allure 8850 so it will cover any scars you feel self conscius about exposing.  Sell the capelet.  Someone else will love it and it will be bargain for $400 for them (it would look  good with a slinky plain satin dress).  You could sell your 8850 too and get what you REALLY want.  I think its important that you reflect your own bridal vsion, not anyone else’s.

    Post # 11
    2283 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think you should get the dress you want. If that dress is a fit and flare from Allure, that’s the one you should have. 

    Don’t let other people’s preferences keep you from being happy. You’re the one who is wearing the dress. You’re the one who will have regrets later if you chose to go with everyone else’s choice. 

    For what it’s worth, I like the fit and flare gown much more than the other one. The other dress just isn’t you. I don’t even know you and I can see that. 

    Please, go with your gut and get the fit and flare you’ve wanted this whole time.

    Oh, I almost forgot to add this: don’t compromise if you don’t want to, and I suggest you don’t. Your wedding dress doesn’t need to fit everyone else’s visions, it needs to fit yours.

    Post # 12
    173 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I can understand why you’re torn between what you like and what everyone else likes. It must be really difficult. 

    As others have said I think you look good in both dresses! Lucky you. 

    Definitely talk to the seamstress about getting the lace back/straps (not sure what the proper name is?) added on. I’m sure it must be possible, although whether it’s a good price might be another matter.

    Are you wearing a petticoat or anything under the 8850? Or is there built in fluff? If you had that taken out it might be a more gentle, softer A line which might look a little closer to a sheath dress if that’s what you like. Or the seamstress could probably take it in a little.

    Also, you’re bang on with the capelet. Too frumpy nanna.

    Post # 13
    413 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014 - Mauritius

    ce0604: both dresses are gorgeous on you, but I am a solid believer in do what YOU want to do. Wear what YOU are comfortable in, not what everone else thinks, either dress would be beautiful so you don’t have to worry about that.

    I had the same thing (bar showing FI) but I went for what I felt comfortable in 🙂 not everyones idea of the perfect wedding gown, but I love it.  

    Post # 14
    1935 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Ok, so both dresses look nice on you, but the fit and flare in my opinion is AMAZING on you!

    Post # 15
    5971 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    First one with the caplet. Sooo pretty!

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