- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2016 - Amherst College Alumni House
I’m having dress regret. I think. I’m honestly very confused.
For the entire first year of my engagement, I kept telling my Fiance (who happens to be a woman) that as a 34 year old woman, I did not want a princess tulle dress. I wanted a sophisticated, figure flattering satin dress that made me feel like a glamourous WOMAN.
Well, I got it.
After drooling over it for over six months. I bought a Maggie Sottero Emily in champagne mist and it is everything I thought I wanted. It’s figure flattering, it’s satin, it even the bubble hem that I love. It’s perfect. Except, I’m not in love with it.
I put off shopping for dresses as long as I could. I was so insecure about my weight that my Fiance tracked down a store 2 hours away that had great reviews from plus sized brides. They boasted that they has tons and tons of plus sized gowns to try on, and they were a Maggie Sottero authorized retailer. Yet, when I arrived for my appointment I was disappointed to find that they didn’t have the one dress I had been most looking forward to buy. I tried on several other dresses but I couldn’t get the MS Emily out of my head. I couldn’t imagine buying anything else after looking at a picture of it for so long.
So, I bought it. Without trying it on. Without even seeing it. I took a risk and just ordered it.
Of course, I was a nervous wreck while I waited for it to come in. Would it fit? Would it look like the way it did on the model in the picture. So, when my dress finally came in I was so relieved that it fit. As a matter of fact it was too big! i was so glad to see that it looked exactly as I imagined it would. I took it home and hung it up and then the doubts started setting in.
I realized that although the dress looked like I wanted it to, it didn’t make me feel like I wanted to feel. I was so caught up in worrying whether or not the dress would fit and hide my tummy, I didn’t even bother to think about whether or not it was the dress I wanted. I didn’t feel tingly and excited when I wore it. I didn’t feel tear up when they put the veil on me. I didn’t feel like a bride. I felt like a sophistcated glamourous woman, but not a bride.
As I was driving to the bridal salon with my Fiance and best friend, they asked me what kind of dresses I liked. I admited that if I was 24 and a size 8 I would love a vintage inspired ballgown with a sweetheart neckline, natural waist and full tull skirt. I’ve always been in love with the fashion of the late 50’s/early 60s (read: Betty Draper from Mad men). Now, I am wishing that even though I am 34 and a size 20 that I would’ve just gone after my dream dress as opposed to what I thought I should wear because of my age and size.
Don’t get me wrong, I really like my dress. Yet, I am starting to feel like I settled for it even though it was exactly what I asked for. Does this make sense?
My Fiance had her first dress fitting last week and when the tailor was done, she didn’t want to take it off. I don’t feel that way about my dress.
My Fiance, being the wonderful woman that she is, said I could sell my dress and buy a new one but it’s too late to order one since my wedding is a 2 months away. We have a little room in the budget to buy a less expensive pre-owned dress as a second “reception dress” but finding what I want in my size (something like Mori Lee 4808 or 4705) is proving impossible.
I haven’t had my first fitting yet, so I am hoping that when I do, I’ll fall in love with my dress then. Do you think that’s possible?