(Closed) Dress Shopping

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
12003 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@taraelisabeth:  find a salon with a no kids policy?  I don’t really think it’s fair of her to expect you to put up with her kid while you’re dress shoppping.  My sister is kind of the same with my nephew, I disagree with most of her parently ideology but to each their own.  Personally, I went dress shopping by myself and it was GREAT.

Post # 4
3585 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@taraelisabeth:  Just go shopping. You’ll find it much easier if you don’t “invite” anyone, at least in the preliminary stages of dress shopping.

Once you’ve narrowed down to style and perhaps one dress, I can see taking a couple of people, not a group, if you feel that you need reasuarance.The Maid/Matron of Honor isn’t the one to give you any reassurance because she is dealing with her children. So be it. She’s got a focus in life that is different from yours, that doesnt’ make her a bad person.

But it’s likely that you will not need someone else’s opinion on The Dress. It’s just a dress it’s not your soulmate (haha someone else posted that today, I like it.)


Post # 6
3585 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@taraelisabeth:  You don’t want her there in the way that she would likely show up (with children in tow.) That may or may not hurt her feelings. So be it.

This is just the beginning of wedding issues that will involve many decisions that will potentially hurt people’s feelings.

But here is something to remember: this really is NOT the big deal to others that it is to you so make you decisions in a calm, confident way and deliver your decisions in a freindly, upbeat way. Assume that your adult friends will accept your decisions like adults, like adults with full lives who understand that not everyone can do everything with everyone.

Post # 7
125 posts
Blushing bee

If you have 2 Maid/Matron of Honor, bring the child-free one.  I love kids, but I definitely draw the line about bad behavior in certain places.  A dress shop is no place for kids.  Give your mom friend the option to come but tell her that you really prefer that she doesn’t bring her kids.  (the infant is OK for obvious reasons but no screaming toddler!).  If she says that’s not an option, then tell you that you will do initial research with your other Maid/Matron of Honor, and if you find a dress, she can go back and try it on another time.  If she is really insistant on being involved with the dress process then just simply tell her that she has to leave her kid at home.  If she doesn’t even know about the dress shopping yet, I wouldn’t even tell her.  Do the first phase of shopping on your own or with other members of your bridal party and loop her in once more decisions are made.  

A more important issue: you mentioned that you two have grown apart a lot over the years.  Can I ask why you want her as your MOH??

Post # 8
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@taraelisabeth:  I think your have 2 options: 1) you either invite her and say “this will be a kids-free event” or 2) don’t invite her at all. There’s no need to cater to her or her little demon of a child for your dress shopping experience. 

Post # 9
2894 posts
Sugar bee

A bridal salon is not an appropriate place for a toddler. The meeting can be several hours (I think 3 is quite common for ”appointmoint only” salons). And it might be very frustrating for other brides if there is a toddler running around (it would drive me mad). I would invite your friend and tell her about the no-kid event. She’s then free to accept or refuse the invitation. I would expect a good friend to feel fine with getting toddler a babysitter for a few hours, in order to shop with me, if she really wanted to be there. 


Post # 10
3731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@taraelisabeth:  I put out an email to my friends and family who might go dress shopping letting them know my tentative plans. In the email I stated that it would be an adult-only event. Since everyone it was sent to had kids, I horrified them all equally. Actually, no one was horrified or offended. Unruly kids are fun pirates and they aren’t going to turn my dress shopping into a SUCK FEST! They should turn yours into a shit show either.

Sorry your pal doesn’t want to be away from her kids – it’s admirable. However, you can still have a child free day and do this without her. It really is HER choice to come – she can find a sitter or she can stay home. Her choice.

Post # 13
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@taraelisabeth:  I second finding a store with a no kids policy.  I tried dresses on at a couple bridal salons where they didn’t allow kids under the age of 5 (or something like that).  It was such a pleasant experience because most salons aren’t very big to begin with so eliminating screaming, wild children makes it that much more enjoyable.  If you do find a salon with this policy, just let her know kiddos aren’t allowed to come and leave the decision up to her whether or not she comes. 

Post # 14
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Politely say. I have made an appointment at such and such place for such and such time I would love for you to come. Unfortunately when it comes to wedding dress shopping I would love the support of my friends and as much as I know you dont like leaving (insert annoying child’s name here) at home, I would love it if you could leave (childs name) with (insert a person’s name here) so we can pick out my wedding dress. I dont think you should pick a salon with a no kids policy because quite frankly you shouldnt have to sacrifise for her.

On a side note, what is she going to do for your bachelor party, or bridal shower, or wedding for that matter?

I told my Maid/Matron of Honor that she can leave her son with my fiance if she absolutely cannot find a babysitter and told Fiance that if he wants me too look beautiful on the wedding day he would do that for me. He said yes with no further questions asked…3 year old children are generally misbehaved mine is pretty bad but he is not as bad as you described.

Post # 15
2082 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@FauxPas2012:  +1, this is a good idea. I went shopping half of the time alone. I didn’t have everyone come until my wedding dress arrived for my first fitting.

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