(Closed) Dress shopping alone?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
488 posts
Helper bee

I also went by myself a couple of times. I wanted to figure out what I liked before bringing other people along. It was relaxing and I think the consultants find it nice to work with just a bride.  I felt better about trying on a lot of dresses because I knew I wasn’t wasting anyone elses time or boring them. At one salon there was another bride and her mother and sister who were really nice and told me when they really liked a dress.  


Take lots of pictures, that way you can get input afterwards if you want and know how the dress photographs. 

Post # 19
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I went by myself and LOVED it! No other opinions clouding yours, no one jumping the gun with unwanted statements that you can’t “un-hear.” I bought the dress by myself and sent them pictures of it. Boom. Done. No opinions please.

Post # 19
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

i went to a lot of my appointments alone. it’s nice . . . you can focus on whether YOU love the dress instead of whether anyone else does. could you involve your girlfriends remotely–letting them know what time the appointment is and then texting them pictures of your top choices to get their opinions?

Post # 20
4322 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

View original reply
sbruin99:  I haven’t read all of the replies on this thread, so forgive me if I repeat some advice. If you know how your mother and sister are, is it worth it to have a chat with them before hand about how they made you feel at the bridal show, and how you would appreciate behavior X instead? Ultimately, you teach people how to treat you, and it sounds like they either are not aware of your personal boundary structure, or don’t care. There has to be some kind of feedback for them, however, if you haven’t established healthy boundaries. This is only if you choose to have them along in choosing dresses. 

Keep in mind, though, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with going to try on dresses alone. Do you take people along with you every single time you buy a garment? Of course not. It’s kind of a shame the bridal industry has built up mundane tasks as “events,” because when people like you and I try on dresses, it’s another thing to feel terrible about when we don’t fit into a neatly packaged norm. For the majority of my dress appointments, I was solo also. Yes, it sucked at first, because my mind was hung up in “should-ville,” thinking of all the things that “should” be going on in my life that were not, and was not going to change. My mother shows me love in other substantive ways, and I needed to appreciate and respect that. She’s not one to go celebrating things like this in my life because of things limiting hers, and that’s ok. At the time I was getting married, my sister’s marriage was falling apart, and she was less than excited to be celebrating matrimony, so that was also a no-go. I didn’t know that at the time, but in retrospect, I understand and empathize why she didn’t join me with bells on. 

And to be absolutely honest with you, I felt less encumbered during my trials when I was by myself. When I had a couple of bridesmaids with me, I felt more pressure to please them rather than me, which was weird. Also, after a time, I could see boredom on their faces after the 3rd or 4th dress, and that made me feel self conscious and like I had to speed things along and make a choice to get out of the store faster. You don’t want that. Go at your own pace, look at dresses *you* want to look at, have reasonable communication with your dress consultant and ask as many questions as you can. Really, you’re just buying something that you’ll wear for 5 hours, tops, and never wear again. It’s the marriage you should putting your stock in, not the dress buying. The only two people that matter are you and your fiance, so try to focus on that aspect of your future. I promise you will be happier for it. 

Post # 21
558 posts
Busy bee

It may just be that your sis doesn’t want your mom to choose something old-fashioned and your mom doesn’t want something too modern?

I think you’ll have a fine time by yourself. What you could do, is isolate a few dresses in advance, in a new bridal shop that you haven’t been to with either, and then invite them , separately and ask what they think about your chosen few.

Make sure you tell them you’ll take their opinions into account but that the final decision rests with you. That way, they won’t think that you valued one opinion (mom v. sis) over the other.

Take pics also and maybe post them on the board, the bees always give good advice 🙂 and in general with dress polls here there is a fairly unanimous result with about 70% usually voting the same.


Post # 22
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
sbruin99:  Going dress shopping alone is actually a great experience. I did my shopping alone but told my mom and sister to be available for pics or FaceTime. 

It was very stress-free and ultimately I got to make the decision I wanted without any pressures from others. I did end up picking the dress that my mom and sister loved too but I knew it was the dress as soon as I looked in the mirror. 

Sidenote: One of my friends actually asked me if she could come but I told you I preferred to go alone. I actually felt I would be more stressed with her there especially with her strong opinions. 

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