(Closed) Dress Shopping Anxiety and Time Issues

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was in the exact same position as you. I rarely had the time to even sit down and think about wedding plans letalone dress options! I didn’t really have a clear picture of what I really wanted for my dress, except I thought I knew what I didn’t want. Looking back I found that going in with these ideas really only hindered me in the process of picking one out! I didn’t want a ballgown, poof, flowers, bling, or lace haha (doesn’t leave much!). I tried on probably around 40 ish dresses over the span of 4-5 months and didn’t really like any of them! Then it came down to crunch time and I still didn’t know what I wanted and I started to really stress about it. Where I live they say you need to ordere your dress at least 6-8 months in advance to ensure it’s ready for your day. I am at approx the 7 month mark right now and just ordered it this week! AND I ended up ordering a ballgown! The Casablanca 2052 to be exact.

Anyway, my best advice for you would to book an appointment and go in with a very open mind! You never know what will really flatter your body unless you try it on! Even if you try on a few dresses just for the style or fit  and then maybe you can look online or wherever for a great price on a dress you love!

 

Good luck! It is actually kinda fun to try on different dresses once you get there!!

 

Post # 4
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Oh and also what I found really helped me (and also how I ended up finding my dress) was going to all my local wedding shoppe’s websites and checking out their designers and the dresses they have in stock. I wrote down the names and #s of the ones that caught my eye! Gives the consultant some ideas as to what you like and they can go from there! And as for appointment times, they can really be as long as you want them to be, depending on how many dresses you try on! Typically what I found though were that they lasted an hour and a half to two hours!

Post # 5
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you haven’t tried anything on, how do you know that certain styles won’t look good on you? The first and only place I tried on dresses, I grabbed everything. Ballgowns, mermaids, fit and flare/trumpet, and one lonely “sheath” (although it’s very flowy, not straight down). I assumed that I would look good in anything especially mermaid/fit and flare/trumpets, and they looked horrible on me (and I tried on several). The flowy sheath dress ended up looking amazing on me, when nothing else did.

My point is, try on EVERYTHING. You never know what’s going to look good!

As for finding time and energy, if you want a dress, you’re going to have to find the time. You work full time with later evenings, can you not go in the morning instead? Can you not give up one day of volunteering, or even a couple of hours to go try on dresses? I understand that you don’t want to give up seeing your Fiance (and I don’t blame you), but you’re going to have to make some sarifices if you want a dress.

Post # 6
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

See if there’s a Brides Against Breast Cancer event coming somewhere near you anytime soon! It’s a really great dress shopping experience. They have both pre-owned and brand new gowns (donations from shops and designers, discontinued styles, etc.) It’s very budget-friendly, they have a full array of sizes, the events are on the weekends, and they are staffed by wonderful volunteers, not sales clerks. Plus it’s a great feeling knowing that it’s a fundraiser and what you spend is going to a good cause:

http://www.bridesagainstbreastcancer.org

I got an absolutely amazing gown there for less than $500.

Post # 8
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

@wishingonadream04:  Yes, if they’re holding an event, it will be over a Saturday-Sunday. They travel from city to city and typically set up in a hotel ballroom/conference center. They fill one room with racks and racks of gowns, organized (roughly) by size (since bridal sizing is wonky to begin with, and many of the pre-owned gowns have had some alterations). In an adjoining room, they set up cubicles for dressing rooms. You get to look through the racks yourself, and they also assign you a volunteer to help out. You can just pull whatever strikes your fancy and try it on, see if it fits, etc. They also had seamstresses back in the changing room who could make recommendations about how to alter something, whether it would be feasible, etc.

It’s great if you are open-minded and just want to try on a bunch of stuff and find something that will work for you. For brides who have a very specific dress (or a shortlist of specific dresses) that they want, it might not work so well since there’s no guarantee they will have any particular style in any particular size. But I was looking to avoid the whole bridal shop racket entirely, if possible, and for me it turned out to be the greatest thing ever.

Post # 10
Member
9118 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I just want to chime in that… I was absolutely dead set on a sheath and mermaid dress. I have a small chest, tiny waist and I’ve got a hell of a lot of hip, so I wanted to flaunt that. I was 100% for a sheath/mermaid dress, and I tried on A LOT of them, but in the end, I went with an A line dress that was similar to a ball gown without all the poof. Those were the dresses that I was completely against, but when I tried it on, I fell in love.

My suggestion to you is, go into the shop (ANY SHOP) and tell them what you like. IE: “I like ruffles but I don’t like feathers, I like satin, not silk, I love lace but I wouldn’t be sad if it wasn’t on the dress, I prefer strapless but maybe lace/sheer sleeves/straps I could swing.” Look at some of the on-model dresses and say, “I like this, but not that.” The first thing out of your assistant’s mouth is going to be, “Why?” THINK ABOUT WHY!

My assistant grilled the shit out of me when I told her some things on the models I didn’t like. If I said, “I don’t like the way it sits on the hips” or, “I don’t like how the back is ruffled, or I really don’t like rutching”, she made a mental note of this and didn’t bring me things that didn’t fit within my qualifications.

Then, when I tried on dresses, we’d do a Maybe pile, a Maybe-Maybe pile, and a definite no pile.

This is what worked for me. Is it what works for you? Maybe, maybe not. But I didn’t have a “dream dress” in mind, I just had a “dream style” that turned out not looking too good on me. Also, don’t take model dresses for what they are. The dress I bought, I didn’t like on the model. It was one of those “Hell, why not” moments, it was the very last dress I tried on, the last one in my maybe pile, and I liked it a whole shit load more than the one I was convinced early on that I was going to buy.

Don’t judge something until you see it on you. Then you’ll know.

Post # 11
Member
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I got my dress in less than an hour. It was totally disappointing to my family, but I was really efficient and knew that we really wouldn’t have another chance. I came in, talked to my consultant about budget, location, and preferences. She pulled 7 dresses, there were two I liked and one I loved. There was no reason to continue looking.

What I recommend doing is figuring out who you want there and then make time for it. I was exhausted, stressed, and just had to do it. Then, have as much fun as possible and make sure you try on at least 2 dresses that aren’t you.

I found that David’s bridal can be hit or miss. We had one horrible consultant for bridesmaids dresses and when we went back, the one we assigned was awesome. I also found I got cheaper prices at a mom and pop store than at David’s bridal, so you might want consider that oo.

Post # 12
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@wishingonadream04:  No, I get you. I didn’t really want a ballgown, but I tried a couple on because they looked pretty. I found them overwhelming and too heavy, but they were still fun to try on. The only things I ruled out were pickups, sleeves, and halters. I also picked out my own dresses, rather than a consultant doing it, but each shop is different.

@Hyperventilate:  I was shocked when I saw the dress that I ultimately chose on the model–it looked horrible. She looked like a mannequin and the color of the picture/backdrop was really unflattering, too, so I’m glad I didn’t see the picture first.

Post # 13
Member
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Hyperventilate:  Could not agree more. My consultant asked why for everything to figure out what I felt stronly about and what was important. I left her with that I needed a classic, symmetrical, dress that was modest (but could be strapless), without a corset back, and preferably with lace. 

From my experience, a good consultant can help you find an amazing dress by knowing your location, size, and general style. Some of the dresses I LOVE and look amazing on me won’t work for my wedding, and I was so happy to find a consultant who respected what the day was about for me. If the consultant doesn’t buy into your vision, then I would suggest looking elsewhere. 

Post # 14
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I would try going in by yourself, I’ve gone dress shopping alone a number of times and it’s really been way more efficient! One appointment took only 30 minutes, with others being under an hour. If there’s somewhere close to work, you can go during your lunch break, and figure out the basics of what you like. That way its one on one with the consultant, no other opinions interfering, and then you can go into an appointment with your entourage already knowing the essentials of what you want.

Post # 15
Member
9118 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@vorpalette:  The picture of the dress I bought was beautiful, but on a mannequin, it was hideous. It was shapeless, flat, gave no definition to the hip/waist area, but I thought the bottom was pretty and I was like, hell, why not?

When I put it on, I was wow’d, and when my assistant lady said she could order it in a corset back, I was sold. Even moreso when she put my veil on and a colored ribbon around my waist.

Absolutely don’t judge a dress by what you see would be my ultimate bare bones boiled down advice. Photos are photoshopped to look “perfect” and mannequins are so basic in shape that you really won’t know what it looks like unless you’re shaped like a mannequin.

Post # 16
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

i got the 2nd dress you listed! the wg3196 & i love it! put it in the search bar & you can see pucs of a cpl girls who also picked it. my wedding is in april =)  my appt at DB took 1 hr & it was my first time, so I tried all dif styles. 

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