(Closed) Dress shopping while "waiting"??

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with is as long as you are serious about it. One thing to consider is, once you are engaged, when are you planning your wedding for?

You may not want to go too early since your vision for the day may change over time. Its also a good idea to consider the venue/style of wedding before looking at dresses. 

Post # 18
Hostess
7553 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would wait. I see so many bees on here who bought their dresses too early and have dress regret. 

Post # 19
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’d think I would be jinxing myself. Also, I don’t know where you live, but trunk shows happen all the time. This isn’t going to be the only trunk show you’ll ever encounter in the next couple of years.

 You don’t want to buy the dress, end up jilted, and then spend the rest of your life wearing your wedding dress in a decaying mansion. Don’t be a Miss Havisham. Laughing

Post # 20
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee

I bought my dress about a month before he proposed. I knew the ring was being made, I knew he was going to propose, and we weren’t going to have a super long engagement (8 months total). So when I found my $900 dream dress on sale for $300… well, who would pass that baby up? 🙂

Post # 21
Member
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think there is anything wrong with dress shopping while “waiting”….given some groundwork has been established between you and SO. Like:

1. what timeline to set a date are you looking at?  I think if it’s going to be a longish engagemenet you should wait because as new dresses come out you may be tempted to look and have dress regret.

2. what kind of wedding style/size/venue are you thinking about?  This may drastically change what kind of gown you’ll want or what kind of gown suits the occasion. eg. church, beach, daytime, evening formal etc.

3. have you discussed a budget? 

I, personally, wouldn’t shop until officially engaged but I don’t think it’s “wrong” to do so.

Post # 22
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee

I looked. If you’ve seriously talked about marriage and you’re both ready, I think it’s ok to look. Your SO would need to be on the same page about that, though, since he may feel rushed to officially propose at a time he doesn’t feel is quite right. It totally depends on your relationship dynamic – if you guys generally take it easy, it may not matter which comes first, as long as you get there and are happy with the decisions that are made.

You also have to ask yourself if you’re going to wish you had the experience looking for your dress while engaged if you find something before then.

Post # 23
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@asscherlover:  I can identify with this – ‘soon’ for my Darling Husband was 1.5 years until he proposed (and I totally misinterpreted and thought he meant within a few months). I do think it’s important not to get your hopes up about it happening super soon if everything’s pretty much a surprise – having a dress may make you even more antsy about getting a proposal, and if you don’t get it for a long while, there may be some friction about already having a dress.

(On your end, you may feel let down, when really there was jus a misunderstanding about when he meant it to happen.)

But I also stand by my previous comment of you guys are definitely on the same page about things happening within the next few months. That’s when I started looking a bit.

 

Post # 24
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Before my exH proposed I found the ring so I knew it was coming.  I got so excited and went dress shopping with a girlfriend.  I actually found something *perfect* I loved on sale and bought it on the spot.  Fast forward a month after he had proposed and we chose a venue and winter evening wedding that did not work with the dress AT ALL.  So I had to get rid of dress #1 and start from scratch.    I also missed out dress shopping with my mom becuase I knew she would think I was NUTS for trying on dresses before a proposal.

Looking is fine but please hold off getting serious about anything until plans are more concrete!

Post # 25
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t know.  There are so many girls who *think* a proposal is coming . . . and then it doesn’t.  I bought my dress the day before my ring came in because my mom was in town and wanted to take me shopping, but I also knew I was getting the ring the very next day.  

Post # 26
Member
201 posts
Helper bee

I bought my dress with my mom (who I don’t get to see that often) before things were “official.” but FH and I had already decided on a date and everything like that. So I was extremely confident that it was coming very very soon. i would say if you’re SURE that its coming and you want to look with your mom, it’s totally fine 🙂

Post # 27
Member
8482 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

If its for serious and not play then I dont see why not. But be aware of your body and know that it may change from now till when you’ll actually be wearing it.

Post # 28
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

I wouldnt. I bought my dress before we “announced” our engagement wide. However due to many snafus with my ring we had a date set 3 months prior to us announcing to everyone our intentions. Our closest friends and inner family (parents) knew we were engaged. We chose to wait to announce till he presented the ring to enjoy time to ourselves and avoid people asking questions. My dress was on a sample sale and I won a $500 discount. The dress I fell in love with a dress at a bridal expo that was way more than I could afford. Fiance told me to buy the dress now because I’m picky and frugal. In the end I bought a dress that was 3600 originally for 900. This deal I would not have gotten otherwise. We were technically engaged though. If I could have waited after the formal announcement I would have since only my mother went with me to purchase this dress. However it was a situation that was unavoidable even Fiance mother understood.

Post # 29
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think I’d want to jinx it, either. I know a proposal is happening very in the next 2 weeks, but I haven’t looked for dresses or anything else aside from online. I saw a gorgeous bridal clutch at a shopping expo the other day but refused to buy it because it’s not totally official yet. Heck, I didn’t even start my wedding Pinterest board until 2 days ago! I just feel funny about jumping the gun.

I think it might be best to check in with your SO on it. Just ask something like, “Hey, do you think it’s premature to take my mom to the Vera Wang trunk show while she’s in town? No pressure, I know you have a plan. I just don’t want to overstep boundaries.”

And based upon what he says, go from there.

Post # 31
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@sunshinebee:  Just go then! And don’t tell your SO if you think he’ll be weird about it.

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