(Closed) Dress shopping with my FMIL?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@anne626: In my opinion, there seem to be two big issues that this situation is bringing out that you need to discuss:

1) In-Law Boundaries. Why is Fiance assuring his mom you will do something with her before he made sure that was OK with you first? I can see if he didn’t think it was a big deal, but I think you should let him know that he needs to check with you first before speaking for you.

2) Money. You guys could sit down and discuss the budget overall for the wedding and also- tell him you do not feel comfortable spending money you don’t have. Also discuss how you plan to handle money in your marriage- this is a hot topic for most couples and usually a source of conflict, so the sooner you make some agreements with each other, the better.

If I were you, I’d tell your fiancee and your Mother-In-Law that while you want to include her in the wedding planning but that you would really prefer not to go dress shopping, since you already have started re-working a dress you already have.

You can ask Mother-In-Law to come for the fittings.

Post # 4
22 posts
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think that if you have no problem taking your Future Mother-In-Law and you would like to go dress shopping, if he tells you that it’s ok if you like and buy one, then do it!

you don’t HAVE to buy, but if u find a dress you really like for your wedding, and you future hubby is ok with paying it, then you should not worry as much. Sure, it’s good to care about your finances and all, but  a dress is just one expense, and if you manage yourselves the right way, maybe you can pay it and still have money for other stuff..


Post # 5
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I went dress shopping with my Future Mother-In-Law and maid of honour, and it was great. (My mom lives far away and couldn’t come.) We had a great time and I know it meant a lot to her.But I think it depends on the person and your relationship.

Also, I don’t think that you should go dress shopping at all until you’re sure (1) that you want to buy a dress, (2) who is paying, and (3) what your budget is. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for disaster. What if you fall in love with a dress you can’t afford? Bad news bears.

Post # 6
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I definitely wouldn’t go dress shopping if I KNEW I couldn’t afford to buy one…it will just create disappointment.


Post # 8
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@anne626:  I would def let your Fiance have the money convo with her… he’s the one who volunteered you for the outing, so he should have to deal with the awkwardness.  Since Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t have any daughters, I do think it would be a nice trip for you two.. but if there’s no way to work it in the budget, it would be setting yourself up for disappointment.  I really hope that you guys figure out a solution… keep us posted.

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