Post # 1
I started off casually looking at dresses recently thinking, oh this’ll be a cinch! it just needs to be white and comfy and I’m good. but then I asked FI’s opinion (big mistake…), and when I showed him the dresses I liked, he said they all look like towels!!!! the kind of dress HE likes has straps, and not just any straps… V-shaped neckline that flows into straps.
this sort of shape:
and HOW in the world am I going to find a dress like this??? I thought I could just book an appointment at my nearest Vera Wang, stroll in, and nab the dress. but VW does not have such a dress… at all! and 99% of wedding dresses are strapless anyhow, so… well. that certainly narrows my choices.
of course Fiance says the obligatory “you can get what you want, as long as you’re happy I don’t care”… but then he gives a lot of reasons for why I “can’t pull off a strapless gown”; ie I slouch, I never wear strapless styles and I feel self-conscious in a tanktop already (just because showing too much skin has never been my style; I’m quite happy with my body otherwise), he ‘knows me best’ and can already tell that I’d look and feel out of sorts in strapless dresses.
I don’t know… what to do! very stressed. where can I find sleeved dresses? and I don’t really like the look of any sleeve that’s not connected seamlessly to the neckline, so not just any sleeve will do… arg!! I’m still gonna go ahead and book my appointment with VW but my hopes are very very low now.
Post # 3
First off, I recommend keeping your hopes high in terms of finding an amazing dress that you love. I was absolutely sure when I started dress shopping that I wouldn’t want a strapless neckline but 100% changed my mind almost immediately. However, the same type of thing happend between me and my Fiance. I was sure I wanted a simple ballgown but then we went to a friend’s wedding and he said he did not like the bride’s dress at all and it was fairly similar to what I was envisioning 🙁 I bit the bullet and showed him some photos and we were not on the same page at all. At first, this caused a mild panic attack for me but once I went back and tried more dresses that were more of a compromise I found a beautiful dress that I’m fairly confident he will love. Looking back now, I’m actually glad I didn’t get the simple ballgown because the dress I chose I would have never even tried on had it not been for my Fiance and I love it!
So, basically keep your options open and don’t be afraid to try on LOTS of dresses and take multiple trips to different stores.
Also, I’m going to attach a photo of a dress that might be something like what you’re looking for. You won’t find many dresses with straps at the stores but you’ll be surprised to find enough to try on to see if that’s even what you really want. Good luck and keep us updated!
Post # 4
Don’t ask for FI’s opinion! What he thinks looks good in a picture and what actually looks good on you are 2 totally different things. He is going to love the way you look. Honestly. I would not involve him at all, ignore what he said, and pick a dress you like.
Post # 5
@patchy: If you’re self-conscious about wearing tank tops and showing a lot of skin, don’t do the strapless. You want to feel your best on your big day!! It’s true that most gowns do come in strapless styles, but there are a decent amount of dresses with straps/sleeves out there. Aaaand, I found that most designers and/or seamstresses are willing to build sleeves on a dress for you. So if you find a strapless one that you like, for a couple hundred dollars more, you can custom make whatever sort of sleeve you want.
I wanted a dress with some sort of sleeve or strap just because I feel like everyone does strapless and I wanted something different. I thought it’d be quite a task to find something not-strapless, but you’d be surprised.
Also, don’t get too crazy about specific types of sleeves or necklines because of what your Fiance said. I’m sure that’s easier said than done … but when you walk down the aisle looking magnificent, I doubt he’ll be harking back to online photos and what types of silhouettes he preferred on the dress models.
Go with your gut and good luck!
Post # 6
If I asked Mr. 99’s opinion about anything I wore, I would look like some strung out, extra cheap, worn out Abbey Lane drag queen…..he has no idea how clothes go together or what works on me….No, I wouldn’t ask him ever. I’ll just settle for coming down the stair ten minutes late, seeing his eyes light up and hearing him say, “wow”
A man has no place in his wife’s closet, unless he’s putting in more shelves for her shoes!
Post # 7
thanks bees for the support!! I will take some pictures in the store tomorrow (if they let me) and report back. hopefully with good news… T__T
Post # 8
@Nona99: lol I wish!! but to be honest he does have a better eye for these stuff than me. sometimes. I really do respect his fashion advice, even though I wish I didn’t… he thinks he’s better than me at picking out my outfits… and sometimes I think he’s right. sigh. quite a blow to my ego!
Post # 9
@Nona99: Amazing answer! haha You tell ’em girl!!
Post # 10
My Fiance has way more fashion sense than me. I hate going shopping unless I take him along to style me.
Post # 11
Well it’s natural to want to please him, it sounds like he’s making this process a lot more difficult than it already can be for some girls.
What you need to do is know your style and get a dress that is “you.” Everyone said dress shopping will be a cinch for me because I’m tall and thin and everything will look good, and yes they were right, but you have to get the one you feel the absolute most beautiful in!
If it’s a strapless, then it’s a strapless! I never wore strapless shirts over the summer and I ended up with a strapless dress. (I wanted halter top but that’s like nearly impossible to find in a wedding gown.) So what I did during the month of June was buy a ton of strapless dresses and I wore them so he’d get to see me in that style and know I was comfortable in it.
You’re a bride, you are going to be gorgeous in his eyes if you wear straps, no straps, etc…
So don’t worry so much and enjoy dress shopping… It does get crazy (I tried on about 100 dresses!) but when you find the right one, you just know.. (and will probably cry!)
Post # 12
@Rubbs: that’s really… reassuring. thanks. I really hope I find “the one”! meanwhile perhaps I can go buy some strapless stuff to wear… but he doesn’t really like me in dresses in general, sooo it’s a bit of a toughie!! (nevermind the fact it’s no longer summer. eep)
Post # 13
@patchy: you’re welcome! Maybe what you can try is buying the strapless shirts and wearing cardigans over them for now. And it’s the best time to buy summer things since they are all on sale
Is your fiance going shopping with you? If so, then that can work in your favor.. You don’t necessarily have to get one he saw you in if you want it a surprise, but something similar so it is still a surprise.
Post # 14
First off, don’t ask for his opinion!!! Believe me, when he sees you on your wedding day, with your hair, makeup, etc., he’s going to think you look GORGEOUS, and that you’re the most beautiful bride in the world. It makes no difference what dress you’re wearing.
Also, guys don’t remember that the way a model in a magazine looks is generally NOT how a normal girl will look in any given dress. I would never have tried my dress on if I had seen it on a model because frankly I didn’t like it in photos that I saw after.
Be open to trying on all different shapes and styles – you never know what might look good on you! I found the consultant at the shop very helpful – she pulled things for me that I wouldn’t have picked, and I ended up liking the stuff she picked WAY better than the stuff I picked.