- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2016
As an indecisive person who loved several beautiful but distinctly different dresses, I made a choice (just yesterday!) and have been riding that familiar, at least to me, emotional rollercoaster of indecisiveness ever since. I’m looking for stories from other brides who didn’t have the “YES THIS IS MY DRESS AND THERE IS NO OTHER” moment, or who fell in love with their dresses slowly instead of all at once, or who (*gulp*) maybe even decided in the end that the one they bought wasn’t the dress after all. I’m both curious about the different experiences of choosing a dress and looking for some companionship in Camp Indecisive!
This weekend was all about dress shopping. My mom and aunt drove 300 miles to Chicago where I live, FI’s mom and sister joined from the ‘burbs, and we went to four shops over two days. I’d already had my first dress shopping experience three weeks prior while visiting my hometown, and between the grand total of five shops and three dress-shopping days (and all in July, too!) I have tried on something like 40 dresses. Maybe 50. We lost count after 20 or so.
Needless to say, it’s been an overwhelming experience! My build and body shape are quite average, which means a lot of dresses were flattering without needing to envision much alteration. Also I didn’t start with a very specific “dream dress,” only certain things I was drawn to, so we all liked a large number of the dresses. By Sunday I had top favorites across three completely different styles, was still actively Googling other dresses that I may or may not like and would most likely never see in real life, and I wasn’t sure how I’d ever make a choice.
At the fifth and final(?) shop I found a dress that I “connected” with in a way that I hadn’t experienced before with other dresses, and without hesitation I named it a new top choice in one of the three style categories. By the time I was trying it on a second time with other favorites of the day I was 45 minutes over my original appointment end-time, my stylist had been very patient but was starting to get pushy about eliminating dresses, my mom and aunt needed to get on the road soon for their drive back, and I still had all those other dresses from days past rattling around in my head. My mom teared up when I put on the dress again (the fourth time a dress made her teary and essentially any time I tried on a veil with a dress) but I was getting teary, too (the only time for me). The dress fits all of the things I was drawn to and easily fits into my Pinterest board of dresses, works very well for the venue, is under budget, flatters my body, and once in the correct size will need minimal alterations. After some panicking, general anxiety, communal excitement, more tears, and a lot of prodding from the stylist, I said that “Yes I think this is ‘The Dress.'” More tears ensued, then measuring, paperwork, and celebratory wine.
For me, the dress makes sense, and I love it, but I didn’t—and still don’t—have that feeling that “Of COURSE this is my dress!” and I’ve been waffling between excitement and anxiety over my choice. My mom, from whom I inherited my ability to overthink everything, loves the dress but is also experiencing anxiety because she too loved others and she is worried that I felt too pressured to make the choice before I was ready. Fortunately, I usually feel better when I look at pictures of me in the dress, but I still wonder if The Dress, the one true dress for me with no indecisiveness, is out there and I just haven’t met it yet.
When people say, “If you’re not 100% sure then it’s not your dress,” I feel like there is more story to it than that, and, dear Bees, I want to hear your stories!