Post # 1
Ok, so, I’m going with my three lovely BMs (my sis, my Future Sister-In-Law, and my BFF) to look at Bridesmaids dresses in a few days. I really don’t know what I want them to wear – I just want them to be comfortable and happy with the dress, and sort of look like they’re bridal party and not just guests. Maybe in dark purple/eggplant, which is our main color.
My BFF and her hubby are planning to start a family this year (which I knew, and is super exciting) and we’d talked about how she might be knocked up for my wedding. Totally cool by me (not that she would need my permission… you know what I mean.).
What I didn’t realize until she said something today is that the possibility is making dress shopping really stressful for her. Which sucks! I don’t want her to be stressed! We had a long talk and she said she just didn’t want to make things difficult or ruin my day, which would totally never ever ever be the case (and I told her that).
She still seems stressed. I think it’s the possibility of having to choose a dress style and order a size with no idea of how she’s going to look 4-5 months pregnant (assuming that things happen the way they plan, which as I understand it, might not… I guess… sometimes it takes a while?). I don’t want her to feel like she has to order a second dress on the rush, either – I mean, that’s a huge waste, and they’ve got a family and maybe a new house to consider.
What I’m lost on now is… how can I approach this or pick the dresses with that possibility in mind? At one point, I was thinking they should just show up in little black cocktail dresses, and I’d coordinate them with flowers, accessories, etc. I seriously don’t care, I just want those three women there with me and happy and comfortable.
Thoughts, bees? Has anyone had a similar experiences? How did you make things easier for your BM?
Post # 3
Explain the situation to the ladies at the dress shop. Normally the can figure out ways to work with expecting (or possibly expecting) women. Maybe an empire waist dress with extra fabric left in front so that if she gets a belly, they can hem it accordingly and her dress won’t be too short.
Post # 4
I like the idea of little black dresses, or even all different dresses in the purple/eggplant family.
Or you could research which dress designers have the shortest delivery time. If you could find a place that can deliver in 3 months, I think that would be enough time to know if she would be pregnant and showing.
Post # 5
@babymakes3: I was going to say something along these lines. Just have her order as last minute as possible
Post # 6
My younger sister and her hubby also have plans to start a family sometime next year around my wedding. We’re going to wait until 3 months before the wedding to make the decision on her dress.
Post # 7
Great! Thanks for the advice bees!
Post # 8
Also before pickng a dress, make sure that all of your girls don’t have to order at the same time. This way there is no pressure to order the dress. I know AA lets girls order when they are ready, and they have a rush fee so they can get the dress in as little as 6 weeks. (Plus they have a few maternity dresses, and lots with corsets).
Another thing, ask if they can order maternity dresses for bms. If they can order them, someone there should be able to measure/order knowledgably. Ask if you can order extra fabric as well, this way if the dress is too small, a good seamstress can add more panels.
Hope this Helps
Post # 9
I havethis SAME scenario with 2 of my BMs – they have both been trying to get pregnant for 2 years now with no luck :(. So I focused on dresses with empire waists. Both girls also ordered a size up – so in case they are pregnant by my wedding (in 6 months) the dress will hold their bump with no issue. One of my BMs who was at the store when she ordered talked to the ladies at the shop and they were giving her advice as well, so shouldn’t be too much of an issue.
Post # 10
Well, bees… I figured I would post an update. It sorta went well and then it didn’t.
First of all, we went to David’s bridal. The person who helped us just… didn’t. I ran around pulling dresses. There were a ton of brides, so I guess that’s why.
Then the dress selection. We actually found one that everyone liked, and the consultant said it could be bought larger and taken in or let out for maternity if needed. She also told us we needed to order today (200+ days before the wedding) because the dress might be discontinued tomorrow. There was no way she could promise that we could order the dress and have it in if we didn’t order today.
We didn’t buy. Instead I sent the style number and color out to my BMs.
Boyfriend or Best Friend consulted with her Mother-In-Law, who said that the dress would definitely not work for maternity alterations (and I trust her more than a sales consultant I don’t know, as she does wedding alterations). Boyfriend or Best Friend thinks it will look wierd if she has different dress & the other two were the same.
So I sent out an email with a bunch of options.
Then after hearing nothing I sent some more emails, because I’m slightly psychotic. Or at least, not decisive when it comes to this.
And then I sent a final email just now. We’re doing little black dresses. I’ll do purple in the flowers and maybe a purple pashmina. They can wear purple, black, or silver shoes.
I love my BMs. I just fail at the decisions that I don’t feel strongly about. Venue was easy. Dress was easy(ish). Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses? Flowers? Gah. :