(Closed) Driving me and my bf crazy

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 6
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I see your dilemma.  I would suggest give him some time, maybe a month or two, of not talking about it.  It will be hard but let it cool down.  I am sure he’ll still be thinking things through and you’re giving him some time to do it.  After about two months set a time with him to talk and explain before hand that you want to talk to him about your future together. Then you can explain your concerns about when and how long it’s taking and about your son.  He can’t nag you and say you’re talking about it again, since you gave him some time.

Also, to help keep you sane.  Try and look at the things he does that show he will be around for the long haul.  All the little things he does could be great signs that he intends to stay and is just waiting for the right time to ask. 

Post # 7
Member
10216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I agree with the PP and want to say HIYA!! to another southern girl, I go through Pearl/Jackson all the time on my way back home.  I definitely agree with the previous posters.  Sometimes guys want it to be be their “idea” about marriage etc.  Unfortunately for them after you reach a certain age (I’m 29) it’s sort of like okay what’s the hold up instead of oh wow I’m surprised.  Does that make sense?  I agree with everyone else give him until after Valentine’s Day or let him know before hand: Look. I want to marry you but I’m growing weary of our conversations and will stop talking about it for a few months for our own sanity.  I definitely think we should set a date in the future to speak about this again just to make sure we’re still on the same page.  How about July 4th?  That way he can say yeah sure and then you can give him time to breathe you time to get your mind in a better place. And come July he may be the one to bring it up. Btw I did a version of this and while I am not engaged we are easily able to talk about weddings nad engagements and we both know that we’ll be engaged within the next few months…

And welcome to the Hive!!

Post # 8
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I obviously do not know the answer to this.  You have the SAME EXACT situation as me.  Read my most recent post.  I have a 2 1/2 year relationship with Mr. I’m not ready to get married/why rush it and I have a 3 year old daughter!

Post # 10
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think that’s a really valid reason, and one that shows how much he cares about you and the family you’ll create.  It sounds as though his main reason for waiting has nothing to do with cold feet – he just wants to be sure that he’ll be able to provide for you and your son.  I say sit back, relax and enjoy knowing that you’re with someone who takes marriage and parenthood seriously.

Post # 11
Member
10216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

@the nubian: how sweet that he wants to wait until he’s more established in his career 😀 he just wants to make sure that he’s a great provider for you and his future family!! but i still think that he should definitely have a time frame or a plan to reach his goals (if that makes sense).. if he does then sit back and enjoy the ride, if he doesn’t, maybe that’s something you could work on together?

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