- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
Hi everyone! I just started reading this “waiting” thread recently, and this is my first post, so forgive me if I’m not doing things right.
Anyway, my boyfriend and I have been together for about 5.5 years. We met in college and moved in together as soon as we graduated – a little over 2 years ago. I never expected anything to happen in college, and understood that it was important to him (and to me) to live with each other before moving forward in our relationship. Now, two years later, we have a dog and are absolutely 100% committed to each other. We talk about the future often – we both know we want to marry each other (we both say things to that effect all the time), we want the same number of kids, etc. About 10 months ago, we started talking about really, actually getting engaged – not just in an abstract sense. Since we’re still pretty young and not yet totally financially stable (he’s in grad school), he reached out to his parents last November or so about getting an engagement ring. His parents were ecstatic (and they’re loaded) and offered to pay for the entire thing. Lucky me, right?
Since then, he has almost completely backed off the engagement thing. He still says he wants to get married and that he will propose, but every time I try to talk to him about it, he gets defensive and angry. I know he wants the whole thing to be a surprise and to not have me know anything about when it’s coming, and I understand that, but when I even bring up the subject of getting engaged he shuts down. Lately, I’ve been driving myself CRAZY – I can’t stop thinking about getting engaged and I don’t know why. I know I have been waiting for at least a year for this, but all of a sudden, it’s overwhelming me.
Last night, we finally talked about everything and I was able to explain why I have been feeling the way I am. He told me that he understands, and that he still plans to propose (within 6 months!), but I don’t know if I should believe him. He said 6 months almost a year ago.
Ugh, basically I am just looking for advice on a. WHAT IS HE WAITING FOR?!!! and b. how to deal with the anxiety and stress of waiting!
Thanks so much!!