(Closed) DROP the MIDDLE name or the MAIDEN name?

posted 8 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Would you Keep the Middle Name or Drop it?

    Yes, Keep the middle name

    No, Keep the maiden name

    Other: Keep all 3 names and add the married name to the mix as well

  • Post # 3
    1284 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I completely understand your situation. I was sad about giving up both my maiden name AND my middle name so there was not a good answer. Finally, I decided to just do it traditionally and keep my middle name. My new name sounds better with my middle name and my maiden name will always be my maiden name. If you drop the middle name it just kind of dies. That has been my thought process, at least.

    As a side note… I still get said about “losing” my last name from time to time. My wedding is coming up VERY soon and every time I sign my name now I’m like… “awe… sad face”. Haha.


    Post # 4
    2362 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    I love my middle name. Part of it was tough because it’s probable that I’ll be the last one, in my branch of the family tree, to have the last name. So when I get married that will disappear. (Of course it’s a rather common last name.) But I love love love my middle name. So I’m keeping it!

    Post # 5
    4192 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    I never liked my middle name, so I had no problems getting rid of it.

    Regardless, it’s been an easier transition to my new married name, having taken my maiden as my new middle. If I forget, and go to sign something as first-maiden, I can just add my last name at the end (my credit cards, for example, are first maiden last.)

    So I don’t feel that I “lost” anything, I just gained another name. Facebook/emails for example, are first maiden last. 

    Post # 6
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    In my state, you are ONLY allowed to change your last name when you get married.  So, I was stuck with either keeping my maiden name or changing my last name to my married name.  I wanted to append (i.e., convert my maiden name to a second middle name), but I would have had to file name change paperwork in addition to my marriage paperwork.  I decided it wasn’t worth the effort.  But I was annoyed that I couldn’t have my first choice.

    My business cards say [First] [Maiden] [Married] though, even though my maiden name is no longer part of my legal name.

    Post # 7
    3470 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    If I had realized it was an option I would have hiphinated my middle name… 


    Your maiden name is Jane Marie Smith

    Make your married name Jane Marie-Smith Jones 

    Unfortunately, I didn’t know I could do that, so my married name is Jane Marie Smith-Jones… except my “Smith-Jones” is 18 letters long– and with Juliette Elizabeth as my first and middle… My full name is a whopping 35 letters long… And doesn’t fit on ANY form 🙁

    Post # 8
    412 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My sister just hyphenated her middle name. For example Jane Marie-Doe Smith. I love the idea of keeping the madien name as part of your name.

    Post # 9
    412 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    View original reply
    @juliette.eliza:  Oops! Didn’t even see your post! But I totally agree! 🙂

    Post # 10
    2424 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I dropped my middle name and replaced it with my maiden. I didn’t really have any sentimental value to it, while I did with my maiden. I also have professional reasons for wanting to keep my maiden name in some capacity.

    Post # 11
    77 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My middle name is the same as my mother’s middle name and if I ever have a daughter, I will pass it on to her. For that reason, I kept my middle name and dropped my maiden name.

    Post # 12
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’ve never liked my middle name and I agree with everything rebwana said about the convenience of having your maiden name for a middle name. Plus, I think it’s the traditional way of changing your name. All of the women I know in my mother’s and grandmother’s generations changed their name that way. Unfortunately some states won’t let you do it that way anymore. 

    Post # 13
    1561 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I hyphenated my last name, and kept my middle name.  Kind of odd, though – I’ve always hated when my first and middle name were used as one first name, ala the south, but I use my initials on everything, so if I dropped my middle, it would be too hard.  But I refuse to be called by my middle name.

    Post # 14
    214 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I voted keep the middle, drop the maiden… Sounds like a political rally cry. LOL

    Post # 15
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Keep all of your names!  I now have 4 names: “Jane Liz Smith Jones”  (no hyphenation!) Uncle Sam is OK with me having 2 “middle names”, but I sign everything “Jane Smith Jones” .

    I went this route since I keep my maiden name profesionally.  It makes life easier when I go somewhere as “Jane Smith” and my ID still says “Jane Smith” (albeit…with “Jones” at the end)


    Post # 16
    780 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I am dropping my first name which I hate everyone has known me by my first name for 40 years, but since I am getting a new last name I figure they can get used to calling me by my middle name. I love my middle name which is Kathryn, my first name is Brandi which I hate and always have.

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