(Closed) DROP the MIDDLE name or the MAIDEN name?

posted 8 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Would you Keep the Middle Name or Drop it?

    Yes, Keep the middle name

    No, Keep the maiden name

    Other: Keep all 3 names and add the married name to the mix as well

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I will have ALL THE NAMES! 🙂

    Sweden has given names, of which you can have more than one (sometimes three or four even) and a spot for a middle name, which is a family name, like a maiden name or a mother’s maiden name, and a spot for surname.

    So I will keep my two given names, move my maiden name to the middle name and add a new surname.

     

    Post # 18
    Member
    9950 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I have to say I agree with

    View original reply
    Rock Hugger: , keep em all.  And use them however you please…

    Example… Jane Marie Doe once married legally could become Jane Marie Doe Smith… OR Jane Marie Doe-Smith OR Jane-Marie Doe Smith OR Jane-Marie Doe-Smith OR Jane Marie-Doe Smith

    OR combined with all that any of the following socially / professionally, she could be known on business cards / social calling cards as…

    JM Doe – JM Doe Smith – JM Doe-Smith – JM Smith – JMD Smith – J Marie Doe – J Marie Doe Smith – J Marie Doe-Smith etc

    HONESTLY the configurations are almost endless !!

    PS… I am not really clear why this is an issue whatsoever (I mean really is there some sort of LAW that says you can only have 3 Names and no more?). 

    Like Elvis I know lots of people who have multiple names here in Canada for example… 4 is not uncommon, and 5 or more not unheard of.

    Truthfully, this is one of those instances where I am thankful I am a Canadian, where virtually ANYTHING goes… names and what we choose to call ourselves here isn’t nearly as big a deal as it seems to be other places.  (Infact, many Men take their Partners Surnames when marry, or the couple chooses to change the order… so Smith-Doe vs Doe-Smith, or they decide to take an entirely NEW Surname… ie Jane Marie Newbody)

    EDIT TO ADD – My first marriage I kept my full maiden name as my Legal entity.  This time round, I am thinking I’ll just add on my Married Name (unhyphenated), and keep my Maiden Name as another middle name.  Therefore in most situations I’ll just be known as GivenName MarriedSurname.  And that works for me.

     

    Post # 19
    Member
    13094 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I dropped my maiden and kept my middle name.  The way I saw it, my maiden name will always be my maiden name, whether it is a part of my legal name or not.

    Post # 20
    Member
    4674 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I had this same problem, so I hyphanated!  Yes, now I have an anoying-ly long last name, but I kept my middle and maiden names (which I couldn’t imagine giving up!) and added DH’s last name (which was important to him!) 

    Post # 21
    Member
    703 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    soo i was debating about this too.. and im pretty sure im keeping all 4 names hahaha. my last name is really italian and unique and im a bit resistant to changing it to fiances very generic/boring last name (no offense to any “jones” “smith” etc, i just prefer something less common!).. but fiance has already expressed horror at me not taking his name.. SO, i’ll most likely having my maiden name become a second middle name hahah

    we had discussed hyphenating but kept fighting over which would go first LOL soo that won’t be happening either

    Post # 22
    Member
    181 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’m going to give up my last name…mainly because my last name + his last name just sounds weird! I considered not taking his last name but…nah! I want to. So, unfortunately, the last name must go.

    Post # 23
    Member
    4953 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I’m dropping my first name because I don’t use it. My middle name is moving up, my maiden will move to my middle, and I’m taking FH’s last. 

    I like the idea of keeping them all, if you don’t mind having too many names! I know a lady who has four names because of a previous marriage and she goes by her ex-husband’s last name professionally because she established things by that name. Personally and everywhere else, she goes by her current husband’s last name. It works.

    Post # 24
    Member
    4500 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Why not just keep all of your names? You don’t have to lose any of them. 

     

    Post # 25
    Member
    3658 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2000

     

    View original reply
    @juliette.eliza:  antoher random comment. I know one woman professionally who uses a hyphenated surname and–get this–all of those names are compound names. So she is like this:

    LeighAnne GingerElla Della Rosa-De Gaulle

    It makes me tired to even see her name. The fact that she uses the entire thing so often makes me think she’s in love with herself. Were it me, I’d use just one of those surnames along with “LeighAnne” not to mention that there’s about a zillion ways to spell this moniker, so one needs a cheat sheet to address her.

    Post # 26
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I kept both my maiden and my middle. My middle name is my Chinese name, so it meant a lot to me. Since my last name is part of my Chinese name I changed my middle name by adding on my maiden name.  

    Post # 27
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Is this a tradition specific to the US? I’ve never heard of dropping your middle name, or for anything to do with a middle name changing in marriage – I’m in the UK and we only traditionally change our surnames

    Post # 28
    Member
    322 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I don’t know anyone who lost either name. That’s silly! You are becoming a wife not changing your identity! Esp if you love your names, you should keep them.

    Post # 29
    Member
    62 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I love my last name, so I don’t want to drop it. But I don’t go by my first name. I go by a variation of my middle name, so I can’t really drop it. I really don’t want 4 names or to hyphenate my maiden and married name. I seriously thought about dropping my first name, but I think I would have to go through actual name change paperwork with the court for that. So I will probably end up dropping my maiden name. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    4953 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I go by my middle name, so for me it was either to drop my first name or my maiden name. Dropping my maiden name sounds a lot better than dropping my first name. 

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