Dropped the F-bomb in front of conservative brother

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

You made an incredibly common human mistake. No one was harmed, it’s not the end of the world. You can apologize for using that language in front of your brother if you genuinely feel bad, but I’d mostly just recommend you try to be kind to yourself <3 It happens.

Post # 4
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

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kiram :  this is really cute, in the most innocent way πŸ™‚


surely your family is no stranger to hearing this language on this planet. Let it blow over and if you’re really bothered by it, talk to your husband and make a swear jar πŸ™‚

Post # 5
1347 posts
Bumble bee

If you have a problem with using that language then that’s every reason to attempt to change your language ways, but your brother can (and should!) get over it. 

Post # 6
465 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

My embarrassing thing was on my wedding day!  Hubby and I were doing photos after the ceremony outside.  Went to put things in the car, then head back in the church to get everything else before heading to the reception.

As we crossed the parking lot to the sidewalk, my brother was in his car and inched towards us to mess with me.  I gave him the middle finger.

And a split second later realized my dad and his best friend (a Catholic priest) were in a nearby car, watching it all.

I’m even MORE embarrassed that the priest TOOK A PHOTO of “the lovely couple” all dressed up only to find I was making a face and you can see my finger in all its glory.

Post # 7
6790 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

It sounds like you’ve been feeling like you should feel like you should change and your brother’s reaction (and obvious discomfort or judgment) brought that feeling up again.

However, I would also say that if it’s become a regular habit of yours (to the point that you’re swearing without thinking about it), maybe your perspective has evolved and you don’t need to try to “put yourself back into the box”.

You are an adult. Your mouth belongs to you. Your brother may prefer that you not swear and maybe you want to be more conscientious about your words around him. However, I also think it’s really valuable to examine why you think you should behave in a certain way, why the way you express yourself when relaxed around your brother brings up feelings of guilt and also why you have obviously embraced the Big Mama of the swear words!

As someone who has been saying things my family doesn’t necessarily like for many years (and I’m still thriving and loved in spite of it), I don’t think we’re being authentic when we live according to other people’s opinions or shoulds. It’s okay to change and evolve. Just make sure you are okay with the evolution of your identity. Are you still a kind person? Are you still loving and considerate? Are you dropping F-bombs all over your place of employment or in spiritual communities? Don’t beat yourself up for having eased some of the rigidity of your ideas of how you are allowed to behave in the world.

Post # 8
2243 posts
Buzzing bee

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kiram :  I hate when people act like they’re just soooooo fucking pure that hearing a curse word will just make their poor little heart stop. He is a grown ass man. He will get over it. I think the fact that you profusely apologized for your language is enough, as it shows you didn’t mean to disrespect his conservative ideals while you were having a conversation with him. I wouldn’t dwell on it.

Post # 9
2243 posts
Buzzing bee

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penguin8407 :  that is freaking hilarious lmao do you have the picture?!

Post # 10
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

So my husband and I were traveling for a football game over Labor Day weekend and we took his dad and his uncle with us (both in their 70s and just don’t feel up to driving distances much anymore). Well, we were merging back onto the interstate after hitting a rest stop and this guy in a company van was screwing around, not paying any attention, and left a huge gap where my husband could easily merge. As soon as my husband started merging, this guy sped up and cut us off, then had the audacity to honk and flip us off. Without even thinking, I raised my fist and gave him the finger right back. He then slammed on his breaks on purpose, trying to get us to rear-end him. He kept giving us the finger so I kept giving it back, lol. We eventually passed him and I just waved sweetly. The funniest part was the look of shock on his face when he got a better look at me, this little benign looking girl. We met up with him a couple more times on the road but he would not look at us. 

Anyway, I was so embarrassed that I had let my temper get the better of me, especially in front of my father in law and his brother, who are pretty religious/conservative. I was kind of mortified for a while, even though my husband assured me that it wasn’t as if they’d never used that gesture before and it wasn’t totally uncalled for. He also said, “Gotta love those mama bear instincts of yours!” haha. It’s true, though. Don’t mess!

Don’t beat yourself up too bad, Bee. You’ll get over it and so will your brother. Whether you’re okay with cursing or not, it really is still just a word, and you’re only human. Look at this as a growing opportunity. 

Post # 11
2726 posts
Sugar bee

Don’t worry about it so much! You’re an adult, you can swear if you want to. Pretty sure there isn’t even any mention about the F-word in the bible so you don’t have to worry about it on the religious front. There are far bigger things to worry about than saying a rude word (that wasn’t even directed at a person)

As for embarassing swearing stories to make you feel better: I was driving with my now-husband (then boyfriend) and his grandma up to a cabin. I’d only met his grandma a few times before, but we were bringing her to meet my family. Just a few minutes after we picked her up I had to merge back onto the highway at this really stressful spot, when this one guy that was massively speeding switched into the lane i was merging into to pass someone (totally illegal) and it scared the crap out of me so i yelled “HEY ASSHOLE!!!” Real great early impression. Fortunately she’s the sweetest so it was fine, but I was definitley inwardly cringing the rest of the drive. 

Post # 12
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Lol! This story is so bizarre to me. I get people are conservative but how can you honestly be a grown ass adult (and man) offended at another grown ass adult saying fuck… 

Anyway am sure he’ll get over it and it’s kinda cute that even though your picking this “bad habbit” from your husband, you’re still aware of your family and the want to be respectful around them. You apologized, it should be let go.

A recent embarrasing story of mine is that I sent a text to my ex boss, thinking it was his new number saying “they are legit interviewing a clean shaven santa to replace you” but actually sent it to his old company number instead!! AH. Luckily my director kinda found it funny..

Post # 13
4963 posts
Honey bee

With everything seen and heard these days I don’t know how anyone can be shocked by an f-bomb. It smacks of the worst kind of judgement. There are plenty of things that people say that are truly shocking, just listen to our fearless leader, the Cheeto in chief.

When my daughter was 1.5 or 2 she was riding in the car with my husband. Someone cut him off and he grumbled about it. My daughter pipes up, “Daddy was that an asshole?”. It was pretty obvious to my husband where she’d heard the term lol.

Post # 14
3455 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Awww, bee! I can’t really relate at all since I’m the one who has utterly corrupted my fiance in this regard lol

I don’t think I heard him swear once in the first year we were dating… a few months living with me tho and boooooyhowdy! lol

Post # 15
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

This is f**king no big deal! LMAO. 

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