(Closed) Dropping a friend

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 16
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I had this recently, actually. She was my best friend of 9 years and I just decided enough was enough. She was actually a bridesmaid at my wedding. She is a very negative person, never willing to own up to her mistakes, not used to being told no. I miss the friendship, but I don’t miss her. I pretty much said to her I couldn’t carry her anymore. I know that’s what friends are supposed to do but my mental health and wellbeing just suffered as a result. She’s pretty much stuck in high school, mentality wise. I wish I could help her but I was turning into a horrible person, and taking it out on my husband. It wasn’t right.

I hope you can figure this out..it’s not easy, but sometimes you just need to let go.

Post # 17
Hostess
4584 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
pepperzo1:  After being in a friend’s wedding a couple of years ago and being treated terribly (specifically being told that her wedding was more important than our friendship + a laundry list of awful behavior during her engagement) I stopped initiating conversation.  Part of the issue was that any time I reached out to her during her engagement to see how she was or just talk, she completely ignored me, so it wasn’t hard to phase her out.  It’s completely normal for friendships to end- not all friendships are forever!  I wouldn’t feel bad if you don’t feel the need to maintain this friendship.  

Post # 18
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
pepperzo1:  i think most friendships that are not meant to be, end up fading. you don’t reach out, they don’t reach out. time goes by. then too much time goes by. then they become a distant memory. it’s sad, but inevitably it’s life. i tend to be very sentimental and try to hold onto my friends, but after awhile you realize everyone’s growing and going down different paths in life. sometimes you don’t have anything to talk about or anything in common. i just remember the ones that are meant to be will make an effort to stay in your life, and the ones who don’t weren’t meant to be. 

Post # 19
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I have a friend who I grew up with, we were inseparable from the ages of about 7 to 14, then she went to another high school.  We were still friends but she got a boyfriend at the age of 15 (who is now her husband) and started hanging out with his group. 

Fastforward 13 years to now and it has been a year since I last saw her.  She has two little ones which seems to be all she cares about in life now, and neither of us really make an effort to keep in touch, except for occasionally liking each other’s posts on FB (although even that’s a rare occurence for me now because ALL she tends to put on FB are pics of her kids).  Imagine my surprise when she asked me to be her bridesmaid (this is 3 years ago now but back then we had still not had a lot of contact).  It was semi-awkward because the only person at the wedding I knew was her (and her mum, but she’s….well, a bit strange).

Not that I’m thinking about dropping her as a friend, I kind of just wonder if it’s even worth being friends with her on FB anymore because our lives have gone in completely different directions and we hardly keep in touch anymore. 

Post # 20
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee

I had a friend who I thought was going to be super close. I was new in town and she was great fiends with my husband. Went to her wedding, was always generous with her, always nice to her. She got a new job and one time I said I didn’t always like the products her company sold. Lots of people say that about my company too, I don’t think much of it. She took it sooo personally. I apologized, made up for it, tried to invite her out to things, always went out of my way to try to make her happy. She only got colder and colder and would not reciprocate. I was so bitter that it had to end this way, but I guess when you don’t share the same values of giving people a second chance, you end it. 

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