Dropping hints

posted 3 months ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
8176 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

why would he drop hints this early and I’m not allowed to? 

only he can answer that.  “bf, why do you always get mad if i mention our future?  it confuses me when you talk about me wearing a wedding dress and what our babies will look like.”

 

Post # 3
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

A job and a car is a great place to start

Post # 4
Member
2032 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Dropping hints when you are an adult in a committed relationship is lame. Just have an adult conversation about what each of you want for your future and roughly when you’d like to see it happen 

Post # 5
Member
6336 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Lola's Trailer Park

You could maybe, like, talk to him?

Post # 7
Member
6697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2050

wickedfantasy :  Every time says or does something that confuses you or that you don’t understand the context of, ask him “what do you mean by that?” This will have one of 3 results:

  • If you’re reading into things and it wasn’t a hint at all, his explanation will reveal this. Maybe he was just making an observation or talking about life in general, not specifically about you as a couple. 
  • If it WAS a hint, he will either
    • act like a grown up and say “it means I want to marry you” OR
    • get sick of being called out on it and stop playing this stupid game
Post # 8
Member
6336 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Lola's Trailer Park

How long have you been together? How old are you?

Post # 11
Member
1292 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Age and length of relationship is highly relevant. Generally also men at 21 would be reluctant. Heck, your brain doesn’t finish developing until 25. He’s right to want to wait and he probably sees marriage as a long time off in the future as he’s still a student. There’s no relevancy of your location.

Post # 12
Member
6336 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Lola's Trailer Park

Because if you were 16 and had only been together for 6 months my advice would be much different than if you were 32 and had been together for ten years. Its important to include details like that so you can get the best advice.

If you’ve already talked to him and he’s told you he isn’t planning on proposing for anytime soon and you are both young he may not realize when he says things like this you are taking it as a “hint”. Personally, it just seems like he’s abstractly talking about the future with you, not trying to make you think he’s going to propose or that your previous talk has some how changed. The best thing to do is sit down and tell him how you feel. “BF, when you talk about XYZ it makes me think that means you want to get married soon.” He probably has no idea you’re taking it that way.

Post # 13
Member
5162 posts
Bee Keeper

wickedfantasy :  

Not sure why you think being  European rather  than American matters ,  but age certainly does  and  – sorry – but only a very young person wouldn’t  realise that.

And an 18 month relationship at the age of 21….well, I’m with the pps who say that he probably has no idea you are thinking actual  marriage and soon at that , esp if he is young too. He probably  thinks  it’s cute and sexy to play with the idea .  

I’d tell him  to stop with the marriage-and-babies talk until  you are both  in a position  to do something  about it 

Post # 14
Member
998 posts
Busy bee

I think you need to accept that if he doesn’t want to talk about this seriously and doesn’t want to get engaged for 2-3 years then these are not hints and I wouldn’t expect it to be soon.

Leave a comment


Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors