(Closed) Dry Wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 77
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You’re wasting your money to have a dry evening wedding.

 

Have a brunch wedding. The food will be cheaper, it will be novel and cute, venues less expensive, and less hoopla all around (forget the band! see if some bride from the night before will give you her flowers! simpler dress!). You can have champagne for mimosas and maybe bloody mary’s, but unless your crowd is a bunch of MD20/20 raging alcoholics, people don’t drink that much before noon.

 

Just my 2 cents.

Post # 79
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

so get married at the chapel on-base? And if you’re not particularly dead set on any one church, why not just get a minister and have a religious ceremony take place somewhere in God’s beautiful creations? Think outside the box! I would have LOVED to do a daytime wedding. And I can tell you from experience: afternoon dry weddings are shorter, with less mingling, and people feeling awkward. Especially if you’re going to have some time in between the ceremony and reception. Yes, your guests are there to celebrate their day. But you are the HOST of this event! You wouldn’t have your guests milling around aimlessly at your home while you went off and took pictures. And are you the sort of host who has parties with alcohol? If so, you just answered your own question.

 

Post # 81
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Absolutely nothing wrong with a dry wedding. Feeding your guests at a reception is expected; supplying them with booze is not. i’ve been to weddings with alcohol where everyone largely handled it well (mine included; only exception being a drunk cousin of mine who insisted on driving herself and her young son home…until someone finally convinced her not to try and leave). 

Then I’ve been to other weddings with alcohol where multiple people drank so much that they threw up on the dance floor. In my opinion and experience, those who are so insistent on having alcohol at the wedding are those who have to get blasted and on the verge of hurling at the wedding. They can’t just enjoy a few glasses.

There are some definite perks to having a dry wedding. When word got around about my brother’s dry wedding, several of those who had alcohol issues didn’t come. It was great – those were the same family members causing scenes and getting sick at previous weddings when they had the opportunity to drink. 

The next time your parents bring it up, I seriously would say, “How sad that people can’t be happy to see us get married and go without a drink for a single night.” I think it puts it into perspective. Sure, people might leave early. But it says a lot about them if they choose not to come simply because they won’t get to have a rum and Coke.

Post # 82
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

we’re having a dry wedding too. we cant afford it plus both of our families have a lot of alcoholics in them. they get way to nuts at weddings when theres alcohol and neither of us want to deal with that mess so were just bypassing it all together. we’re just serving sodas, water, coffee, punch, etc.

Post # 83
Member
1916 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m not a drinker, but provided open bar at my wedding.  I wanted to make sure to show my guests a good time.  I’ve attended dry weddings before and they have been boring.  Most guests ended up leaving early.  Feel free to have the wedding that you want, but people will likely talk about it.

 

Post # 84
Member
1517 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If mom and dad are offering to pay for it, why not just offer wine and beer?  It will make them feel better, and it will, in all honesty, make your wedding more enjoyable for your guests. Would your Fi be open to that? Or as a PP said, what about a day wedding? Do a bruch, and maybe just offer mimosas.  Like others have said, your guests are going to start leaving after dinner, they’re not going to stick around to dance, etc.

Post # 85
Member
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ll just repeat what several PPs have mentioned because you sound discouraged.

You will never please everyone.  Someone will complain about anything you choose, despite you trying your absolute best to accommodate everyone.  So do what you can, and try to ignore everyone and their comments.  Take my grandpa’s advice “if they don’t like it, they can stay home”.

If your Fiance is the one who is so against having alcohol, let him respond to some of the backlash.  You shouldn’t have to deal with it all and feel bad about it.

Don’t let it get to you, it’s not worth it.  

Post # 86
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think you should close this thread.

Post # 87
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

@MrsSkeletonKey:  
+1 

I think it’s absolutely fine to have a dry wedding. Then again, i don’t drink. I would also never leave a reception because there wasn’t any alcohol. I think that is so rude to do. 
But, if that’s what people will do, you could just have a shorter reception and have a private party with your hubby later.

Ultimately, I always say, do whatever you want to do and don’t let anyone tell you what you have to do at your wedding. <that will make you stressed.

Good luck! 

Post # 88
Member
46 posts
Newbee

Don’t feel pressured. You mentioned its a backyard wedding. Have you discussed with your insurance agent the costs involved in having alcohol at a wedding you’re hosting in a backyard if you do give in? Alcohol at a wedding adds all sorts of liability issues and costs many people don’t even think about.

 

 Don’t feel guilty. It’s your wedding, it’s about you and your groom. If you don’t want it, you don’t have it. If anyone coming feels slighted perhaps they aren’t as good of friends/family as you thought? A wedding is about the couple, not to cater to every whim of the guests. I see nothing wrong with what you have described for your vision of your reception. Stick to your guns and don’t let anyone bully you or overshoot your budget because someone can’t have a good time without a drink.

Post # 89
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

FH and I aren’t drinkers (wine for me and gin for him when we do.)  I get pretty uncomfortable when I’m around drunk people.  I know from working in the industry that guests get pretty bent out of shape about dry weddings so we compromised by having all cash bars.  That way we’re not supplying unlimited alcohol that will either cause problems or ultimately get wasted/thrown away.  We are supplying champagne for each guest for toasts, that way hopefully no one will bitch and moan about not having a cash bar.  Unfortunately, it’s impossible to make everyone happy so focus on what you want and what makes you happy!

Post # 89
Member
14 posts
Newbee

Windsong_:  I was thinking the same thing!  It’s a wedding for goodness sake, what was your motivation for coming?

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