Post # 77
You’re wasting your money to have a dry evening wedding.
Have a brunch wedding. The food will be cheaper, it will be novel and cute, venues less expensive, and less hoopla all around (forget the band! see if some bride from the night before will give you her flowers! simpler dress!). You can have champagne for mimosas and maybe bloody mary’s, but unless your crowd is a bunch of MD20/20 raging alcoholics, people don’t drink that much before noon.
Just my 2 cents.
Post # 78
@drlolaz: The only church we could find that could marry us would only do it at 2. We had issues finding churches because no one would let the whole – we can’t really do church counseling because my fiance is living on an army base across the country – thing go. We absolutely were going to get married in a church. This wedding had many complications! But I don’t think its a waste of time.
Post # 79
so get married at the chapel on-base? And if you’re not particularly dead set on any one church, why not just get a minister and have a religious ceremony take place somewhere in God’s beautiful creations? Think outside the box! I would have LOVED to do a daytime wedding. And I can tell you from experience: afternoon dry weddings are shorter, with less mingling, and people feeling awkward. Especially if you’re going to have some time in between the ceremony and reception. Yes, your guests are there to celebrate their day. But you are the HOST of this event! You wouldn’t have your guests milling around aimlessly at your home while you went off and took pictures. And are you the sort of host who has parties with alcohol? If so, you just answered your own question.
Post # 80
@drlolaz: All of our family is in California. We definitely cannot afford to fly everyone across the US to get married on his base. (That and he’s kind of tired of being on the base and wants to get away). His family and my family are Catholic. Getting married in the Yosemite chapel was our ideal (which is not happening because his family refused to go), but not getting married in a church won’t fly. I mean – do we really have to jump through a bunch of hoops to make it acceptable to not have alcohol? Doesn’t that seem ridiculous to anyone else that JUST because we won’t have alcohol, we have to replan the whole freaking thing. Is alcohol THAT important? I’m tired enough of this wedding, I don’t want to go and start replanning again! Also – we’re two weeks away. People will just have to deal. Sorry amigos, no alcohol! It will be fine. It will be on a Saturday afternoon, in a church and then in our backyard. It’s all good. I’m not going to worry anymore!
Post # 81
Absolutely nothing wrong with a dry wedding. Feeding your guests at a reception is expected; supplying them with booze is not. i’ve been to weddings with alcohol where everyone largely handled it well (mine included; only exception being a drunk cousin of mine who insisted on driving herself and her young son home…until someone finally convinced her not to try and leave).
Then I’ve been to other weddings with alcohol where multiple people drank so much that they threw up on the dance floor. In my opinion and experience, those who are so insistent on having alcohol at the wedding are those who have to get blasted and on the verge of hurling at the wedding. They can’t just enjoy a few glasses.
There are some definite perks to having a dry wedding. When word got around about my brother’s dry wedding, several of those who had alcohol issues didn’t come. It was great – those were the same family members causing scenes and getting sick at previous weddings when they had the opportunity to drink.
The next time your parents bring it up, I seriously would say, “How sad that people can’t be happy to see us get married and go without a drink for a single night.” I think it puts it into perspective. Sure, people might leave early. But it says a lot about them if they choose not to come simply because they won’t get to have a rum and Coke.
Post # 82
we’re having a dry wedding too. we cant afford it plus both of our families have a lot of alcoholics in them. they get way to nuts at weddings when theres alcohol and neither of us want to deal with that mess so were just bypassing it all together. we’re just serving sodas, water, coffee, punch, etc.
Post # 83
I’m not a drinker, but provided open bar at my wedding. I wanted to make sure to show my guests a good time. I’ve attended dry weddings before and they have been boring. Most guests ended up leaving early. Feel free to have the wedding that you want, but people will likely talk about it.
Post # 84
If mom and dad are offering to pay for it, why not just offer wine and beer? It will make them feel better, and it will, in all honesty, make your wedding more enjoyable for your guests. Would your Fi be open to that? Or as a PP said, what about a day wedding? Do a bruch, and maybe just offer mimosas. Like others have said, your guests are going to start leaving after dinner, they’re not going to stick around to dance, etc.
Post # 85
I’ll just repeat what several PPs have mentioned because you sound discouraged.
You will never please everyone. Someone will complain about anything you choose, despite you trying your absolute best to accommodate everyone. So do what you can, and try to ignore everyone and their comments. Take my grandpa’s advice “if they don’t like it, they can stay home”.
If your Fiance is the one who is so against having alcohol, let him respond to some of the backlash. You shouldn’t have to deal with it all and feel bad about it.
Don’t let it get to you, it’s not worth it.
Post # 86
I think you should close this thread.
Post # 87
- Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club
I think it’s absolutely fine to have a dry wedding. Then again, i don’t drink. I would also never leave a reception because there wasn’t any alcohol. I think that is so rude to do.
But, if that’s what people will do, you could just have a shorter reception and have a private party with your hubby later.
Ultimately, I always say, do whatever you want to do and don’t let anyone tell you what you have to do at your wedding. <that will make you stressed.
Post # 88
Don’t feel pressured. You mentioned its a backyard wedding. Have you discussed with your insurance agent the costs involved in having alcohol at a wedding you’re hosting in a backyard if you do give in? Alcohol at a wedding adds all sorts of liability issues and costs many people don’t even think about.
Don’t feel guilty. It’s your wedding, it’s about you and your groom. If you don’t want it, you don’t have it. If anyone coming feels slighted perhaps they aren’t as good of friends/family as you thought? A wedding is about the couple, not to cater to every whim of the guests. I see nothing wrong with what you have described for your vision of your reception. Stick to your guns and don’t let anyone bully you or overshoot your budget because someone can’t have a good time without a drink.
Post # 89
FH and I aren’t drinkers (wine for me and gin for him when we do.) I get pretty uncomfortable when I’m around drunk people. I know from working in the industry that guests get pretty bent out of shape about dry weddings so we compromised by having all cash bars. That way we’re not supplying unlimited alcohol that will either cause problems or ultimately get wasted/thrown away. We are supplying champagne for each guest for toasts, that way hopefully no one will bitch and moan about not having a cash bar. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to make everyone happy so focus on what you want and what makes you happy!
Post # 89
Windsong_: I was thinking the same thing! It’s a wedding for goodness sake, what was your motivation for coming?