Post # 17
Im sorry you guys! I may have made my dad sound worse than he really is.
Yes my dad is a crazy alcoholic but he doesn’t get drunk until he sees everyone else drinking!
I guess i shouldn’t have said that he is the BIGGEST alcoholic. He’s not drunk 24/7. During the day he is sober but 5 nights a week he is getting smashed. He can’t just have one drink (unless he is forced to do so). So i think that’s the route I’m going to take. One glass of champagne.
He would never come to the wedding drunk. (even if he wanted to my mom wouldnt let that happen) because he does want to see me get married and remember it. He has some priorities..
It’s when everyone around him is drinking, he can’t control himself.
If there isn’t any alcohol, he is completely fine. But when he sees other people drinking it.. THAT’S when the problem happens.
And everybody else is always like, oh, one drink won’t hurt.. and then a second, and a third, and next thing you know he’s on his 15th.
But I am so glad you guys think a dry wedding is perfectly okay.
My side of the family, to be honest, probably has no idea how I feel about alcohol.
I’m not close to them at all. I moved away from all of them when I was in elementary school. (Like I finally just met my 6 year old cousin…) Everytime I see them, they offer me a drink. I ALWAYS say no, and they assume I’m lying… why is so hard to believe that someone in their early 20’s prefers coke over cheap beer?
None of them think they have a drinking problem. So they’ll probably lose their shit when they find out there isn’t any booze BUT hopefully i’ll have enough side entertainment that they don’t even notice. 🙂
But for real. I can’t say thank y’all enough. I feel crazily relieved.
Post # 18
Our wedding reception will be dry. We are only serving punch, cofee and tea for beverages. I suspect the drinkers will hit up a bar afterwards.
Post # 19
Do what you want to do!
If you really want to make sure nobody gets huffy about it.. have a morning or brunch wedding.
Post # 20
@alerose: DH’s family did this, twice in a row. They are not religious or alcoholics or anything that would prohibit alcohol, it’s just not important to them. One of the venues did not allow alcohol, the other one–the bride and groom just did not offer it.
It’s fine if you do not offer alcohol, it’s your party. But don’t expect people to stay for hours on a Saturday night without it.
Me, I stopped going to his family’s weddings, that’s not my idea of fun. A little wine or beer, really, that’s too much to ask?
I think you OP should seriously consider a sweet afternoon wedding with punch and cake, that would be appropriate food. If you are so worried about everyone’s reactions throw a party that would not normally hve a lot of alchohol. Also a lovely afternoon reception would be appropriate for champaign.
Post # 21
@alerose: I’m 24. Neither of us drink. My family doesn’t drink. I don’t like to be around drinking, and like you, when my friends used to bring me to parties, I had a horrible time because I just sat on the couch being bored while drunk people surrounded me.
His family drinks, but they dont HAVE to drink, so we are having a dry wedding. Because if they can’t make it thought about 3-4 hours without a drink… well then they have bigger problems.
And like @julies1949: we are having an early afternoon wedding and just hors d’oevres, so there isn’t really any need for drinking. Plus, neither of us are comfortable dancing, so we won’t have that either! So people don’t need the liquid encouragement.
All in all, I think there is absolutely NO problem with having a dry wedding. I think people freak out too much when there is no alcohol… and its stupid. Like for real. You can last a few hours without alcohol. Get over yourselves. haha
And yeah, I refuse to pay for something that I wouldn’t get any use out of.
Post # 22
Etiquette Snob here… lol
You have options…
You can have anything from a DRY Wedding Reception thru to an OPEN Bar
A lot will be determined by WHAT TIME you choose to have your Wedding Reception… Morning, Early Afternoon… and your Guests won’t be expecting (wanting / needing) alcohol so much
Late Afternoon, Dinner Hour, Evening… then ya, more people are going to be looking for / expecting alcohol
Personally, based on a quick read of the description of your Wedding, I’d opt for a “Bubbly” Only scenario…
Champagne or Sparkling available for toasting (and any extras for beyond that)
Nothing wrong with this as a solution…
When it comes to Etiquette as I say it is all up to the Host and how much they want to provide…
Many Receptions offer up SOME options not a whole gamit and that is ok
Hope this helps,
Post # 23
@alerose: others here are talking about champaigne toasts.
Let me tell you about the sad event at one of those dry weddings I talked about earlier:
There was no alcohol at the 4:00 ish reception. (That is the cocktail hour, but hey, whatever.) Then a server came round with cheap plastic flutes. Empty. Then another server came round and poured the flutes 3/4 full. But we could not drink, oh no! had to sit and listen to dull speeches given in a dull manner by dull people and could not take a sip. On and on the speechifying went, and then–quel horrors! –I noticed that my bubbly was slowly leaking from the cheap plastic flute. oh mon dieu. Sadly, so sadly I watched as it leaked out onto the table while the endless talking went on.
Finally, when it was deemed appropriate for guests to drink (!) and all did so except for me, I had no bubbly.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I no longer attend DH’s family weddings. I am “that aunt” who is the outlier, and it is true, I can’t be bothered to fly across the country to not even be offered a freaking glass of wine on a Saturday night.
Post # 25
You can totally have a dry wedding. My sister did and it was great! It’s didn’t last last into the night and there wasn’t a lot of dancing, but it was really nice. I think a glass of chammpagne for everyone during the toast and non-alcohlic drink the rest of the night would be a great solution for you!!!
Post # 26
I have been to a few dry weddings- didn’t really even notice it (I don’t drink much anyway.) There was a sparkling cider toast at one and I don’t remember there being a toast at the others other than “whatever you have in your hand” clink style. All were afternoon and fairly casual weddings.
I have also been to weddings where people were shitfaced and obnoxious drunk with an open bar.
It’s your wedding- go dry.
Post # 27
No one has to serve alcohol at their wedding. They choose to. So you can choose not to. As hosts you are only obligated to serve your guests food and beverages and you get to decide what that is You can also have your wedding at anytime you like so disregard anyone saying you should have a morning or afternoon wedding etc.
If people can’t have fun without alcohol it says more about them than you!
Post # 28
You can have a dry wedding if you want, just don’t expect people to stick around for long. An afternoon reception would be better in that case.
I’m not a big drinker, but I do love a glass of red wine with a nice meal. A dry wedding would be a bit of a disappointment for me, I’m not gonna lie.
Post # 29
We are only having a champagne toast at ours as well. I like to drink socially, but I can’t stand being around drunk people. We are thinking about maybe having some rum punch available while we are taking pictures along with some appetizers. (definitely not enough for anyone to get drunk, though!) I say don’t worry about whether anyone else will be happy or not. If you and your fiance will be happier without the alcohol, that’s all that matters! 🙂
Post # 30
@alerose: my friends are all pretty big drinkers. But, one friend was telling me about a dry wedding she went to. Loved it, had a great time. Her biggest praise for it was that all the drinks served were amazing. Not just normal soda, but really exquisite selections, that didn’t need booze. I’ve thrown mocktail parties before that have been great as well. If you have fun with the style of drinks you provide, your drinker guests may have alot more fun than they’d expect!