Post # 1
I think I’ve reached a point where I must be going crazy. Me and my fiance are trying to plan a day to get married…a brief story first…I’m currently active duty Navy, and he is leaving for the Army in 2 days. I’ve been very conflicted on whether or not we should do a civil ceremony type thing, and save money for a larger, more formal thing down the road. Good idea…right? But I’m worried that if we do it that way, the formal thing won’t mean anything because we will already techniquely be married. Am I crazy for thinking this way? Please help me, I have no idea what to do!!
Post # 3
@conflicted.dual.military: I think it is fine to do both! I only think it is weird (and really only slightly) when people get a civil marriage and try to hide it before their big wedding.
Post # 4
I know a couple who did this. It was a little different for them, since they were both in the Army, but they felt that it would be better for them to get married before both of them were on active duty for God only knows how long. Luckily, that worked out REALLY well- she found out she was pregnant while she was IN Afganistan!
I think that it’s fine to do the ceremony now to get all of the legal things taken care of, and then have a big family celebration when it’s easier to work around both of your schedules. It WILL have meaning- it will show that you want them to be involved in your lives as husband and wife together!
Thank you both SO much for serving our country 🙂
Post # 5
Get married ASAP. If you’re married after he’s done with school you may have a higher chance of getting stationed within 50 miles of each other after he’s out of bootcamp/OCS.
Plus, if you’re married you may get BAH based on his home of record (since you’re dual military I’m not sure how it works, but there is a chance so ask!) You may also qualify for FSA (put it towards the real deal wedding!) More importantly, if something happens to him you are the person they call- not his parents. As you probably know, unless you’re a spouse, the military doesn’t really care.
I’m sure the real wedding will still be really special!
Post # 6
If you feel it’s right to do a civil ceremony now, then do it now! If you plan to have a big ceremony later, it shouldn’t be a problem. You could always do it on your anniversary so you can really celebrate it. And your friends and family should be more than understanding and will wnat to share in the love that you two have for each other, no matter when or where it is!
And thank you very much for serving our country, both of you!