Post # 1
So, I designed my dress myself- it is everything I have dreamed of… but now I am having these weird doubts. Well, it is more than the dress.
Growing up, I had an eating disorder for years and was very unhealthy. After hospitalization and years of therapy, I can proudly say that I have had a healthy body image and eating habits for about 8 years. I am now a very toned, but curvy, size 14. Damn boobs, I think I would be two dress sizes smaller if not for my boobs- but I love them anyway!
My issue is that I have a HUGE dress, and I am afraid that I will look even BIGGER in it. Adding to this fear is the fact that I am bigger than all of my bridesmaids (a fact that has NEVER entered my mind before… but suddenly bothers me that all of my friends are super hot). In fact, one of my bridesmaids is a movie star. Seriously, a legitimate, big-box-office-movie/cover of glossy magazines- movie star. Again, I have never felt insecure around her (we have been best friends since age 8).
I have designed their dresses too- and they are SUPER cute… 50s style dresses with different tops for each. I am just afraid I am going to look like a giant puff ball standing next to all the hotties…
Irrational, I know… but has anyone else had issues like this? suddenly, I really wish my bridesmaids weren’t so darn pretty!!! (this is crazy and selfish and insecure, I know… but I just wanted to get it off my chest!)
Post # 3
You designed your own dress? That is awesome. I am sure that it is gorgeous and absolutely perfect for you. Any chance you’d be willing to post a picture of it so we can all ooohhhh and aahhhh?
I can definitely relate to feeling dress insecurity BUT it is pretty much impossible for a bride to not look beautiful on their wedding day. As for you feeling like your bridesmaids will outshine you, not going to happen. Everyone is going to be looking at you in all of your awesome bridal glowyness and celebrating the love you and your future husband have for each other.
Post # 4
You are the bride, you will be the center of attention, they will compliment you in the photos, so that is a plus, since they are all as you say hot. I wouldn’t keep dwelling on that you’ll be beautiful, and its so freakin awesome you had the option to design the dresses!
Congrats on overcoming your battle with an eating disorder, that is so great, I know some people that struggle with that and its scary and hard, but they are learning how to deal as well, you should be so so proud of yourself for overcoming that! Go You!
Post # 5
Everyone gets insecure from time to time. But I have never seen a bride who wasn’t the most beautiful person in the room. Something about that special, happy glow just can’t be recreated. Not by a movie star, not by anyone. I tried so hard to avoid the “this is my one special day” crap, but seriously. It is. It is this amazing, beautiful special day. You are going to be so lovely.
Good for you for conquering your body image issues. And for identifying the self-doubt when it creeps back in, that is part of staying healthy. Now go find something that makes you feel beautiful. Sexy lingere for you Fiance, meditating, your highest heels, whatever.
If it makes you feel any better… Just imagine how many of your FIs friends are going to be enviously staring at your boobs!!
Post # 6
I know how especially hard this can be when you have the history that you have. Ask yourself if your doubts are crossing the line into patterns that might be unhealthy for you. If they are, I’d maybe pop in to see a counselor for a time or two. You don’t want this to trigger unhealthy behaviors!
I too had hot bridesmaids. All except one were like size 4… but the thing is, nobody notices that stuff. You will be the bride, and honestly, that’s what people will be looking at. You are going to be glowing. It’s going to be great. After all, you designed all the dresses!
BTW- now you’ve got me curious as to who your movie star friend is ;)!
Post # 7
you guys are the best… seriously!!! I felt so dumb and petty and insecure about all of this..
I think I am just venting out my stress in an area that I can do nothing about.
and as for who the movie star bridesmaid is… well maybe more on that later 🙂
Post # 8
Haha, I really wanted to know who it was too!! Maybe you’ll post a few recaps pictures… 🙂
It isn’t dumb or petty. And sometimes just admitting how you feel helps you get over it. If you want to post a shot in your dress I will participate in the collective oohh and ahhing you’ll get here on Wedding Bee. I am sure you look stunning.
Post # 9
wow! Kudos on designing your own dress! I completely 100% feel your insecurities! I’m a size 14 myself (though not nearly as toned … grar … one day) and realized all of my friends are way smaller than me. Then I was complaining about this to loverboy and he goes “hun, who cares? the only people coming to our wedding will have seen all of you before and love you regardless,” And he’s right. No, it doesn’t make the insecurities go away – but I’m sure you’ll look great and nobody will notice even if these girls are so darn pretty … my guess is you’re awfully darn pretty yourself!
Post # 10
CC- I will say that a lot of my old patterns came up in the few weeks before the wedding. You know it’s all about control, and in those few weeks I felt like I didn’t have control over many things. I was surprised to see the old issues come back up…
Hopefully that won’t be the case for you 🙂
Post # 11
I COMPLETELY understand.
Besides the fact that I’m bigger than any of my girls, I also have gained 70 pounds in the past year due to a health problem.
So, I’ve gone up 5 sizes total. Not a good confidence booster.
So I completely understand.
I have to tell you, kudos on working with your ED so well. I know it’s a constant struggle and something that takes years to work to a functioning point on, so you should be VERY proud of yourself for doing so. Heck, I don’t even know you but I’m giving you a net high five.
I’m pretty sure you’re going to look fantastic on your wedding day. A curvy 14 is a perfect size for both sex appeal and gorgeousness in a wedding dress I think.
(Can I be jealous of you?)
Chances are folks will barely look at the girls, even the famous chick, and you’ll rock their socks off.
But. way to make everyone curious about your friend. lol.
Post # 12
oh I love you all.
Seriously, this morning I was all “bleh” and now I am like “Bring it on final dress fitting tomorrow!!!”
I will post pics once I get the dress…
Thanks again for EVERYTHING ladies.
Post # 13
I can’t wait to see the dress! It’s so awesome that you designed them! I mean, seriously! How cool is that! I am a 14 also, and not toned at all. lol. I just can’t make myself work out. idk why…just lazy I guess. lol.
I am also curious as to who you movie star friend is. Makes me very curious to see your re-caps! lol.
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Can’t wait to see the dress! I hope you’ve been convinced by now that you’ll be the only woman up there that anyone will care about looking at. 🙂