Dumped a week before moving out of state with my boyfriend(ex)

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 2
6876 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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laurenv :  wow, sorry your ex did that. In all honesty the thing you say you are panicking about should be the last thing on your mind. Worry about getting a job and home for yourself and the dog first. Will your old job take you back? Has your rental already found new tenants? Can you move south again?

27 is not too old to find someone new. But don’t rush it because then you’ll make a dumb mistake, and don’t take back someone who can’t hack the relationship the first time around. Odds are they will feel that way again sooner or later. Definitely don’t take this guy back. 

Post # 3
246 posts
Helper bee

I’m so sorry that you are going through this. It’s better that you got to know now, before you wasted any more time with him, hoping to build a future together. I hope you get a job again soon where you live. 27/28 might seem old but it’s actually still quite young and I’m sure you will soon meet a man who does not end the relationship at the first sign of trouble. 

Can you live with family or friends while you find another place to live in?

Post # 4
273 posts
Helper bee

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laurenv :  wow, i am so sorry you are going through this, bee.  that sounds devastating.  

like another bee suggested/asked, would you old job take you back?  is moving back home to southern cali with family an option at least temporarily? 

it’s definitely better that you know now before you moved to a new state with him but still!  to have everything in place like that and him not even try…wow

i am the same age as you, engaged now but i just met my now fiance 2.5 years ago and felt the same way when i was single.  you will definitely be able to move on and start over, my fiance is 4 years older than me and was single when we met, so they are out there!

Post # 6
10457 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’d move to the new state. It’s not ideal but you have a job lined up and it’s going to be easier to figure things out when you aren’t worried about finding a job right this second. 

Post # 7
7193 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I agree with PP about going forward with your move- for now and commuting for school. That way, you don’t have to worry about finding a job AND a home. Just a home. Then, you can reassess and decide if you want to remain there or move again, once you’ve got your feet under you and saved up.

Separately- check out Alison Armstrong’s work. She talks about stages of development for men and some of what was going on around your SO and his career search could be clarified for you there- just for your own peace of mind.

If/when he reaches out to you again, do NOT take him back. Don’t give a man more than one chance to dump you.

Good luck.

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