Post # 1
We have been planning a destination wedding for some time and we just recently started going over our budget. I had asked my 7 closest BM’s to stand up already, but now I’m considering just having a Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man to help cut costs since we are over our budget. Flowers and gifts add up…Is it rude to tell your friends that you will no longer have a wedding party?
Post # 3
@ohohitsme28: Could you perhaps consider some inexpensive gifts that you make? A gift doesn’t have to be extravagant, but it seems a bit rude to unask someone.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
If you tell them why any good friend would understand. But like Cappugcino: said if gifts are the only issue there are ways around that.
I will note that for a Destination Wedding, which Im going to assume has a smallish guest list, having a bridal party of 16 people seems strange. With a lot of DWs that would be 1/2-1/3 of everyone attending. But if Im wrong and you have a normal sized guest list ignore me!
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
What if each bridesmaid just carried a single bloom or a balloon or something else that’s less traditional and costly? Surely 7 flowers and a handmade gift can’t be too much.
Post # 6
Technically if you’ve asked and they’ve accepted it would be in poor taste to ask them to step down.
Cut down on food/use well booze/give cheaper favors/gifts/use less flowers. At the end of the day more priority should be placed on our loved ones than decor/entertainment.
Post # 7
I think I am more concerned with the amount of money that these women may already have committed to spending to be with you at your wedding.
As much as they may have wanted to attend your wedding, some of them may have said yes to those expenses only because you asked them to be in the wedding party.
Have they had to submit deposits that would be non-refundable?
Post # 8
thanks everyone; just wanted to get outsiders’ opinions. I didn’t want to, but I guess I was just looking at other options. And yes, typically a Destination Wedding is a smaller intimate group, but we are inviting over 100 guests..I think it will all work out!
Post # 9
nothing has been purchased yet. We haven’t even finalized our resort or sent out save the dates..they haven’t committed to anything except a “yes”
Post # 10
Usually your wedding party includes your nearest and dearest friends. It’d be sad to have to let down someone closest to you. If you’ve already asked them, I’d consider keeping them, but maybe cutting your overall guest list to cut costs. Not sure if this is a possibility for you. Good Luck! 🙂
Post # 11
In the UK it’s expected that the bride will pay for all the bridesmaid dresses as well as jewellry, shoes, hair, makeup, the flowers etc etc. So to me paying out for flowers and a gift alone doesnt seem to bad. You can use fake flowers- there are some great quality ones out there- my SIL had a fake bouquet for her wedding 3years ago- I only realised it was fake when I visited recently and it was on the wall! and gifts? You can be really creative with gifts to or have a lush party or anne summers party (you must have the same/simmilar thing in the states) and buy them all a little gift for it
I am starting to resent asking one of my bridesmaids as UK sizes don’t go up to her size so I’m having to order from America, on top of that she is very fussy. I’ve given her a budget of £250 but she can’t find anything she likes for under £300 and is being rude about it. SHe also thinks it’s her job to organise the wedding which is getting annoying. However I cant imagine uninviting her from the bridal party!
Post # 12
@Darcy212: You are a better woman than me. I would fire her as a bridesmaid! Who needs that stress!
OP: I’m going to go out on a limb here and speak what I think. I’ve been considering unasking one of my bridesmaids for a number of reasons: cost, lack of interest and some issues between her, my fiance’s BIL (she is fiance’s sister). ((But that is for another thread))
Anyway, it is your wedding. If all you have recieved is verbal aggrements to be in the bridal party and haven’t bought anything I don’t see the problem with telling them you are going to make the bridal party small for cost. If they are truly your friends and care about you they will understand and can come to your wedding and enjoy your day as a guest!
Post # 13
@ohohitsme28: It’s hard for me to imagine 7 attendants–just on the female side–going out-of-county (are you?) for this shebang.
A destination wedding seems like a horrific time suck and expense for me if I am a bridesmaid. I didn’t’ know that people actually had a whole flight of bridesmaids at these things; the logisitics seems like a nightmare to me. Ok, off my soapbox now.
Sure, if you’re decided to scale it all down, and your attendants aren’t out any money, I think they would be understanding of your new plan.