During the act

posted 2 months ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

You just voice your thoughts. You shouldnt just be having uncomfortable sex. 

Post # 3
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t find saying “ouch” ruins the mood at all! Sometimes we’ll hit an angle that’s too deep and hurts and I just say “oh too deep babe!” and we just transition to a new position. We are very verbal/vocal during sex though, so I could imagine it might feel more weird to say “ouch” if you are not using any other words. I think you just have to view it as important communication that leads to better pleasure for you both, which is therefore, hot! 

Post # 4
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

dawn53813 :  I have an IUD so sometimes, in certain positions, I’ll feel some discomfort. I’ll usually say, “oof let’s adjust” and we’ll grab some pillows to adjust the angle. If that doesn’t work I’ll say “let’s switch” and we’ll move to a different position entirely. Saying these things never ruins the mood for us, if it does for you guys maybe you should explore why it does. Talk to your partner and let him know the things he does that cause you pain, that way he can avoid them in the future and won’t be caught off guard when you correct him during the deed. 

Post # 5
579 posts
Busy bee

I think a codeword or a previously decided-upon “something” would kill the mood more than just matter-of-factly saying “hey, let’s switch this up”. Open, honest communication in whatever form works for the two of you is key.

Post # 6
244 posts
Helper bee

I’m a big fan of the classic “ah fuck… in a bad way.” 

Then the ol’ switcheroo of positions.

Post # 7
9670 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I just say what I need to move or adjust. It doesn’t ruin anything. 

Post # 8
3875 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

No secret phrases here. We just say “that’s not working” or the equivalent and then keep going. 

Post # 9
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I just said “ouch” like 15 minutes ago lol

Post # 10
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I just say ouch, or let’s switch to a differnt position, etc. And we never have felt like it has killed the mood. Our sex life is going quite well honestly and  we believe that it has to do with how great we communicate our wants, likes and needs before, during and after so we always know what the other would enjoy. 

Post # 11
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA

“Ooof, that’s not working” or “okay hang on that hurts” or “can we try this way instead?” is all I need to say. Usually there’s a check-in anyway if I seem “off” somehow, so it’s not really a concern for me. But, I would just outright say what’s not working so it can be worked around. It has never killed the mood for us.

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