- 8 years ago
Dutch men… they’ll drive you crazy ! While you’re waiting expectantly for him to finally ask you, he’ll be thinking…….. uhm…that’s right.. NOTHING !
According to a Dutch guy there’s no need to marry.. everything is ok. They have a girlfriend, have all the benefits of a relationship, but to marry pins them down. they think, why marry, when we could life together ? That’s why a lot of Dutch couples don’t marry anymore… most of the time the men decides. And when they do marry.. at least they will prospone the marriage, untill the absolute last moment.
I don’t know about men in other countries, but Dutch guys are so easy.. and not in a good way! Where is the traditional romance ? I’m often jealous of the American girls. Sure not everything goes like in the movies, but in Holland guys don’t even ask you on a date.. and most of them certainly don’t pay for all of it. Ever heard the expression: going Dutch? Well.. it’s really true.. they expect that you split the bill !
Girls, to be clear.. I’m not someone who’s trying to empty a guys pockets, I’m certainly not a golddigger.. not even a little bit. I’m all for sharing. And I’m proud to be an endependent women, who can pay her own bills, but… there is the thing of chivalry, courtesy.. or how you call it.
I ask you… didn’t we go too far, trying so hard to be endepent.. that we eleminate the benefits of old fashioned romance and courtesy. Us Dutch girls did. Whe ruined it for ourselves. Why do we think it’s ok, that a men doesn’t have to make effort to court and love us ? We made it too easy and therefor disadvantaged ourselves.
But not all Dutch men are bad. I’ve found a guy who still is a bit oldfashioned when it comes to dating a girl. Me. 😉
When we first met, I saw him and thought it was such a nice guy.. he has such a symphatic appearance, everyone likes him. When we got to talking, the next time I saw him, he asked me out on a real date ! He took me out to a restaurant, and we just talked the whole evening. I loved it. He didn’t get fresh with me and he just treated me like a lady.
Now allmost 2,5 years later we’re so happy with eachother and he tells me all the time he loves me and now and then brings me a nice bouquet of flowers.
There’s just one thing… I’m still waiting untill he askes me ! It drives me crazy ! Allthough he told me I’m the one and he wants to marry me, he doesn’t propose and he’s constantly avoiding the subject. You must know, in January I’ll turn 32 and he want’s more children. Us girls do have a biologic clock you guys !
One other detail you also have to know…I have a beautifull little girl allmost 5 years of age from a previous relationship. Her father split when I was pregnant. I told myself, no more.. the next guy will have to make an effort to keep me ! Show me that he means it and promise me that he’ll stay. Surely you’ll never have an absolute ensurance, but for me it makes a difference. I need this.
That’s why I told my (new) boyfriend, from the beginning, that if he want’s to be with me, the only way will be if he’d marry me, eventually, within a few years. He agreed. You know what’s so great ? My daughter sees him as her father. They have a great connection.
Meanwhile, allmost 2,5 years later, I’m still waiting untill he pops the question, and he knows it. It’s his idea that he want make it a surprise when and how he askes me, but I’m waiting for a year now.
Last week I was fed up and went to a jewelrystore, picked out the ring, wrote the specs down and handed him the paper, with the details. He was a bit defended, said that he wanted to pick one out himself, but hey, I told him, you put this on yourself.
It’s all really not the way I pictured it, girls… I dreamed of a spontanious proposal and never thought I would allmost beg for one. It has brought me a lot of tears to be honest. But he’s so sweet and good to me and my daughter otherwise. It’s just this marriage thing that scares him (like all Dutch men).
So.. to make a long story short, this is the plan: I gave him the adress of the store and details of the ring I want. It’s on sale untill 31 of December 2010. My birthday is 12 January. If he doesn’t pop the question by then.. He can move on out ! It’s all or nothing.
Check again later for updates my dear weddingfriends.
Also.. I have lots of experience planning weddings for friends. So for tips and/or questions… (maybe dutch specialties) just leave me a message.
Good luck every one and ’till soon.
PS: My English isn’t perfect, forgive me for that. I’m Dutch !:)