Post # 1
Can anyone tell me what the duties of a Maid/Matron of Honor in a Jewish wedding are? I am not Jewish and there will be no rehearsal. My friend is not very observant and isn’t sure what the duties are either. I am concerned I will not know what to do during the actual ceremony. I will not be attending the first ceremoney just the second. Do I walk down the aisle? I am really nervous about this because I am just to show up without any instruction. The wedding is being performed by a rabbi at the reception site.
Post # 3
unless she is asking you to hold the huppah, (usually the parents’ honor), your duties are the same as any other ceremony. Stand there and look pretty, and hold her bouquet.
Post # 4
You probably will walk down the aisle. You may sign the ketubah if it hasn’t been signed already. I don’t understand the 2 ceremony statement. Your friend should talk to her rabbi about the ceremony order and relay that info to you.
Post # 5
I’m wondering if the two ceremony statement refers to the ketubah signing. We held ours before the ceremony, rather than during.
Post # 6
Trust me, you’ll get notice of what you need to do before you need to do it. Typically, it is look pretty, walk down the aisle, and then just help her with whatever she needs while she’s up there (holding the bouquet, arranging her train to look pretty, etc.). There are no duties of a Maid/Matron of Honor that are specific to Judaism.
Post # 7
she won’t have the duty of signing the Ketubah if she’s not Jewish, it has to be someone Jewish who isn’t kin
it’s just like being a Maid/Matron of Honor in any other ceremony 🙂
Post # 8
Thanks everyone. My understanding is that the first ceremony is just for the parents and the two people who are doing the signing. I’m feeling much better now, I appreciate the info.
Post # 9
Yea I was gonna say, I’m pretty sure you need to be Jewish to sign the Ketubah..
Post # 10
or…the Ketubah signing is for family and friends, not just for the parents. I am converting and although my parents and close friends are not Jewish, I still would like/L-O-V-E for them to attend something that means the world to me in the eyes of G-d and eachother….
My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor, and she is not Jewish, and as far as “duties”…What “duties” do Maid/Matron of Honor have? To me it seems a little “dated” to have someone with “duties”. I just say screw the duties, and everyone just have a fun time. No need to “fluff” my gown or hold my bouquet. As jews…we have a little table underneath our huppah, where I will be placing the flowers, after that…it’s time to party!
Post # 11
Well, the signing is what you make of it; sounds like her friend is keeping it low key. We are only having our parents, his grandmother, and then our witnesses and rabbi; not looking to have a big crowd and keep it as intimate as possible.
Post # 12
We went to the opposite extreme from thebriz. Our ketubah was signed during the ceremony, and everyone present signed as a witness. We only had about a dozen people at the ceremony, so that worked for us. (Our synagogue was Reform, and thus counted females, and it is permissible under Jewish law to have more than two witnesses–just not less than two.) So someone in the wedding party who is not Jewish could be at the ketubah signing if it is large, but could be omitted if it is smaller since she will not be a witness.