DW Question – Am I in the wrong here?

posted 2 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 122
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

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blushingbee2019 :  I  completely agree. This is just the appetizer. If she is throwing such a terrible coniption fit now about literally nothing, imagine how much worse it’s going to get as the wedding is closer!

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mamabear9909 :  I’m so sorry you’re feeling estranged from your family about this. She’s being so unreasonable it’s not even funny, and it sounds like she’s not even really sorry – just that her Fiance twisted her arm into an “I’m sorry you were offended”-style, passive-aggressive non-apology. Which is almost worse than if she had said nothing at all.

Good for you for trying to focus on Christmas and just letting it go for now. But I agree that in the end … backing out is probably the best option, for everyone. Even if you still attend as a guest.

Post # 123
3317 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

TBH, the fiance sounds like a pretty level-headed dude and I wouldn’t be surprised if there doesn’t end up being a wedding at all if this is how she behaves…

You’re doing the right thing by not letting yourself get baited, letting things cool down for a bit, and staying the course on your already-scheduled plans. Whether a wedding occurs or not, or you attend or not, you’ve still got a super fun family vacation to look forward to. 

Now, go enjoy the holidays! 🙂

Post # 124
2341 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

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mamabear9909 :  I don’t know…I think patronizing would be “sorry you feel that way” or the like.

“I was wrong to think you cared about my wedding” is actually her doubling down on her previous bad behavior.

Post # 125
6952 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

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mamabear9909 :  I don’t think you need to sever ties with your family over this- especially if they are the only family you have. Your spoiled bitch cousin has been your spoiled bitch cousin for years, clearly you know her and how she behaves. Even if it is still hurtful. Your aunt was also out of line, too.

I would definitely not stand up with her at the wedding, though, and I would not buy a dress or spend a dime more for her event. I’d let her know that I’d be there to support her and celebrate her day as a guest rather than as a bridesmaid but that I don’t feel comfortable acting as a bridesmaid for anyone who would ever call me an asshole, let alone a selfish asshole. Then I would show up at the wedding for a polite amount of time (unless I was feeling very magnanimous) and focus my time and energy on enjoying my vacation with my family. Spoiled Bitch Cousin (SBC) would be lucky to get a hug from me.

Post # 126
5181 posts
Bee Keeper

Heaven forbid you actually do something in a foreign country that isn’t directly tied to her wedding. But at least now she’s given you her permission.

Yeah, F*** that. I wouldn’t go to that wedding at this point if you paid me.


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