Post # 121
At this point I am just going to let everything settle down. If this was a random friend, I would give her the middle finger and cut her out of my life. But, this is really the only family I have, so I am not certain I want to cut all ties when I am still very much upset.
I have not responded to her dress texts. I really feel, given Christmas is a week away, I just need to be quiet and try to have some peace. I want to be excited for her, but right now, I can’t.
And no, she didn’t apologize. It was a half assed attempt to patronize me and put the blame back on my doorstep. I didn’t take the bait. Not worth my time.
The funny thing is – I just read the texts from her fiance to my husband. He told Darling Husband that he had invited a friend, and his friend is bringing another group of friends with them. My cousin and her fiance don’t know the other couple at all. Apparently she had no issue with that. Who knows.
Post # 122
blushingbee2019 : I completely agree. This is just the appetizer. If she is throwing such a terrible coniption fit now about literally nothing, imagine how much worse it’s going to get as the wedding is closer!
mamabear9909 : I’m so sorry you’re feeling estranged from your family about this. She’s being so unreasonable it’s not even funny, and it sounds like she’s not even really sorry – just that her Fiance twisted her arm into an “I’m sorry you were offended”-style, passive-aggressive non-apology. Which is almost worse than if she had said nothing at all.
Good for you for trying to focus on Christmas and just letting it go for now. But I agree that in the end … backing out is probably the best option, for everyone. Even if you still attend as a guest.
Post # 123
TBH, the fiance sounds like a pretty level-headed dude and I wouldn’t be surprised if there doesn’t end up being a wedding at all if this is how she behaves…
You’re doing the right thing by not letting yourself get baited, letting things cool down for a bit, and staying the course on your already-scheduled plans. Whether a wedding occurs or not, or you attend or not, you’ve still got a super fun family vacation to look forward to.
Now, go enjoy the holidays! 🙂
Post # 124
mamabear9909 : I don’t know…I think patronizing would be “sorry you feel that way” or the like.
“I was wrong to think you cared about my wedding” is actually her doubling down on her previous bad behavior.
Post # 125
mamabear9909 : I don’t think you need to sever ties with your family over this- especially if they are the only family you have. Your spoiled bitch cousin has been your spoiled bitch cousin for years, clearly you know her and how she behaves. Even if it is still hurtful. Your aunt was also out of line, too.
I would definitely not stand up with her at the wedding, though, and I would not buy a dress or spend a dime more for her event. I’d let her know that I’d be there to support her and celebrate her day as a guest rather than as a bridesmaid but that I don’t feel comfortable acting as a bridesmaid for anyone who would ever call me an asshole, let alone a selfish asshole. Then I would show up at the wedding for a polite amount of time (unless I was feeling very magnanimous) and focus my time and energy on enjoying my vacation with my family. Spoiled Bitch Cousin (SBC) would be lucky to get a hug from me.
Post # 126
Heaven forbid you actually do something in a foreign country that isn’t directly tied to her wedding. But at least now she’s given you her permission.
Yeah, F*** that. I wouldn’t go to that wedding at this point if you paid me.