(Closed) DW vents

posted 7 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

wow, I would totally do a Destination Wedding in Italy if I could! I think people who say “why Italy?” probably just expect some Caribbean location, but I’d rather do some place like Italy, too. We’re doing our Honeymoon there, so I”m very excited. I think your wedding will be great. The problem with losing friends on trips like that, is that they keep saying they’ll save and save… and finally, when time is getting short, they realize they haven’t done it 🙁

Post # 4
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i TOTALLYT understand your frustration. if you look at some my old posts, you will see i have experienced this several times over already. and it wasn’t just regular friends who have cancelled on me, it was a friend who i asked to officiate our wedding and another friend was is a bridesmaid!!  and i went to New Zealand for the BMs wedding a few years ago….and she was totally set on coming to mine until a few weeks ago. this is like after she bought her dress and everything.  the most frustrating part is that she beleives she can’t make it in April, but is travelling to N.America a few months later instead! i also had several other people tell me they were definitely coming and of course in the end they could not. all for valid reasons. but i feel your pain.  my wedding decreased from an expected 30 guests to 17! but in the end, as everyone told me, you will be extremely happy to have time to spend with the people who ARE there!  once you are there, you won’t care or think about these other people.

Post # 5
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This is my BIGGEST fear! While I love all of my friends and while all of them are being so supportive and excited (right now) about my Destination Wedding I can’t help but feel some of them will flake out!

The worst thing is, I’ve already lost my bridesmaid! She has been my best friend for years and was full of the joys of spring for the wedding and the fact that it was in Italy, but randomly, she’s picked up and has decided to move to America for the year! She’s leaving in Septemeber 11 – to be back in September 12 (Um my wedding is in Italy in August 12 – not too sure what she is planning on doing!)

She suggested I SHIP the bridesmaid dress to the states and she’ll get it altered there… no offence but there is no way I am going to let the dress out of my sight or be cut and sewn by somebody I don’t know!!

 

*sorry for stealing your thread for my rant! *

Post # 6
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Belle Italia:  i understand your frustration that she may not be back for your wedding. but she does seem to have good intentions since she wants you to send her the dress.  what i dont understand is why you care who alters her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress?  all my BMs were in charge of getting their dresses altered on their own and as a Bridesmaid or Best Man several times over in the past, i always took my Bridesmaid or Best Man dress to whatever seamstress lived near me.

Post # 7
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@ PurpleUnicorn! I guess I really should explain my bestie – I know her so well & I know her penchant for short/ low cut/ obscene dresses! She’s a cracking person & I love her to bits but I know that (and with no bad intentions on her part at all) she will ask the seamstress to go shorter & tighter! Definately not my style to be controlling or judge her style (in fact I love her for it) but I’m not too sure I’d be comfortable with her showing off so much skin in front of my Nana!

Plus I’d be so worried about shipping a dress to NY & back again to Ireland without it going missing or getting damaged through baggage handlers! (many a times I have sat on a plane in Dublin Airport and watched my own luggage left out in rain & fall off the trollies.. & only to arrive at my destination with clothes that are soaked through! 

P.S I see from your date that your wedding is so close!!! Good Luck! Hope all the preparation is almost tied up!

~Belle

Post # 8
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Belle Italia: hmm, i think it would be okay if TOLD her a minimum length etc and concerns about it not being too tight for the wedding because of your grandma…unless you don’t think she would listen to you and do what she wants anyway. but i think you can say it tactfully.  And as for shipping it back and forth, couldn’t she bring it herself when she comes back?  i understand shipping it to her, but not her sending it back if she is travelling back anyway.  anyway, your call, i was just giving my two cents and trying to see it from a different angle so you are not so stressed about it!

and my wedding was actually in April in Jamaica!  next week is a BBQ reception we are doing back home to celebrate with those who couldn;t make it!

Post # 9
Member
95 posts
Worker bee

I hate to turn on the snark, but when you pick a destination wedding (unless it’s in a country where a significant number of members of the bride or groom’s family lives), you are saying the location is more important than the guest list.  Most people are not going to be willing to shell out $1,000+ to attend a wedding.  I’ve always thought except in the case of the exception I mentioned, that the destination part of a destination wedding should be saved for the honeymoon.

Post # 10
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t see why anyone would be baffled as to why you’re getting married in Italy.  That is like the ultimate destination wedding, totally romantic.  That is where Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were married!  I am getting married at the beach, four hours from where I live.  Ever since I’ve finalized on my decision for a Destination Wedding, I’ve had people say things like, “Why?” or, “I don’t know if I can make it to that!”  Like my wedding is supposed to be all about them, or something.  Actually, my #1 reason for having a Destination Wedding is because I didn’t want a big wedding and I knew a lot of people wouldn’t come to it if it were at the beach during peak season, on a weekday (Friday night).

Post # 11
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@singsong – that is a really outdated way of looking at Destination Wedding, and it assumes both bride and groom are from the same geographic area.  Many couples (like myself) have families spread across the country – and anywhere we choose would be *destination* for at least some family members.  

@Belle Italia – that sux and I am sorry!  That is my fear too!  But look at it this way – the less people – the more money you save!!

Post # 12
Member
95 posts
Worker bee

Our two sides of the family are spread around the world, so I understand how it goes.  But if one family lives in New York and the other in California, a wedding in Spain, for example is not really the logical choice. If you are choosing a destination because you really really want to have your wedding in a pretty place despite the fact that it is a great inconvenience to nearly all of your guest list, then you have to be prepared to not have many guests present. 

Post # 13
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Hi Girls! Thanks so much for your input – I suppose I better clarify Italy…

We live in Ireland so airfare for us to get to Italy is next to nothing (you’re talking 50€ return with low cost airlines) We do understand totally how booking a hotel for a number of days is an expense for our guests but its way cheaper than the cost of a one night stay in a hotel in Ireland (i.e three days in Italian Hotel = one night in an Irish Hotel).

Factor in the fact that most of our guests have never been to Italy and see our wedding as a holiday with the added bonus of a party it really seemed like a win-win situation! We know there will  be people who can’t make it, but my Boyfriend or Best Friend going on a random one year trip to the states with no guarantee of a job (and knowing how she spends) means I can pretty much factor her out of the day. Its a total bummer but she’s a free bird like that – precisely one of the reasons why I love her – but I guess as she is yet to settle down she doesn’t yet understand the importance of a wedding!

I want to stress that we went to each and everyone of our guests and asked them how they felt well in advance of putting a deposit down, out of 70 people, one couple said they might not be able to afford it – but everyone else was optomistic and said that they would have been saving for a holiday anyway and it was a great excuse to go to Italy!

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