(Closed) DW Wedding- Paying for food

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it reasonable for the people staying in the villa to pay up front for groceries?
    Yes, absolutely! : (9 votes)
    28 %
    Maybe... (explain) : (0 votes)
    No, just let everyone do their own thing for meals : (20 votes)
    63 %
    No, you should be paying for meals for the whole week : (3 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2324 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I would actually think the reverse. Why don’t they pay for the lodging themselves & you could pay for the groceries? That way each of them are paying ‘equal’ amount for a bed. I find that contributing for food can get messy, especially as some ppl eat more than others / preferences & even allergies. That way they are ‘bound’ to stay with you, which is what you want, but have the freedom to eat out or at home.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2951 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 1998

    @gingerkitten:  I would just let everyone know that they are responsible for their own groceries. I’d be more than happy to shop for myself & my SO however I’m really fussy and wouldn’t want anyone buying or eating my food. Hopefully they are all understanding and grown up enough to work it out between them. Goodluck:)

    Post # 6
    Member
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Maybe buy a few basic groceries for the whole house then give people the option to buy more?

    Post # 8
    Member
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @gingerkitten:  Yeah like maybe 2 boxes of cereal, some oatmeal, bagels, OJ, some sandwich stuff and chips, then a couple of things for dinner like protein and vegs! Just a few basic essentials then everyone else can get what they are interested in.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2324 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @gingerkitten:  Different people eat at diffferent times. I know that if I attended a Destination Wedding in Italy i would not want to cook for myself the entire time there, i would want to venture out & sample the local cuisine., even if it’s rural.. but that’s just me.

    I would consder the ‘basics’ as bread, butter, ceral, milk, water, juice, coffee, tea, sugar, stock, salt, pepper & maybe some fruit or snacks.

    I  know you are worried about the logistics of so many people cooking in the same area, but imagine all of that work you are creating for yourself by trying to satisfy everyone’s needs in terms of food. To give you a rough idea, my preferences would be: healthy meals, gluten free, no diary, tuna, nuts for snacks, sparkling water. Fi’s would be burgers, chips, coke, chips… you get the idea.

    Either way, whichever you decide, be prepared for someone not being happy with something. It’s always the case. This time is for you to enjoy, relax & be married! … i wouldn’t be makiing shopping lists.

    Post # 10
    Member
    8722 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I say just cover the basics- tea/coffee/sugar/milk/bread/oil. But if you are all close or if your family memebrs are going to cook together then maybe just email everyone and ask their preferences. Say something like if you want to be included in communal meals then this is the cost. Let us know if your interested, which night you would like to be in charge of cooking and what dish you would like to cook for everyone.

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    306 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Yes reasonable!x

    Post # 12
    Member
    4656 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Reasonable money wise, unreasonable logistics wise. I’d go with just letting people know they’re responsible for their own food – they can cook, they can eat out, they don’t have to wait for designated mealtimes if they don’t want, I’d be much happier with that. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My family used to rent a beach house in the Outer Banks every other summer.  Depending on who went that year, there would be 18-25 people.  Everyone would contribute some food like cereal, snacks, sandwich stuff etc. and each family would cook a meal one night so there weren’t 5 different people trying to cook 5 different meals at the same time. 

    Perhaps you could suggest everyone is responsible for what they would like for breakfast, lunch, and snacks, and then set up a cooking schedule for dinner?

    Post # 14
    Member
    2191 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think that pixie cat’s idea is a better one — assign teams of 2 or 3 to make dinner each night? but i will say that cooking for a group isn’t always as simple as it sounds – do you have experience hosting holidays/feeding a group?

    Post # 15
    Member
    1846 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If I was staying in Italy for a week, I wouldn’t be eating “at home” id be out eating in local restaurants trying their food. I think you should pay for the essentials, but they everyone else figure out their own food. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1293 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    @gingerkitten:  I would not like being asked to do this. It would feel like you are charging me to attend your wedding. We are all grown ups, so we can manage our own food. I wouldn’t have the expectation that you’d be giving me a free trip for a week.

    I say let everyone pay for their own food. Some people may be picky, have allergies, or they may not want to contribute to communal food (I sure wouldn’t). I would want to make my own decisions with my Fiance and be responsible enough to feed ourselves.

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