(Closed) Dw: what's the etiquette with BM purchases?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

From what I understand, you don’t really have to pay for anything. If you want to pay for their dresses, thats great, but they shouldn’t expect you to pay for anything. Just make sure you are up front with costs before it gets to close to the date and you have girls backing out because of costs.

Post # 4
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here (Comes with my career)…

I just answered a similar Question for another Bride… so let me cut & paste that info here…

== snip ==

From an Etiquette perspective…

Bridal Party Gifts come in two categories…

The things that you give to the Bridal Party as part of the Wedding… so  when it comes to the LADIES (same rules apply to the Groomsmen as well) …  if you decide to pay for any of the following… Dress, Shoes, Purses,  Hair, Make-up, Jewellery, Getting Ready Robes…etc

ALL OF THESE THINGS do not go  towards the concept of Thank You Gifts

That is totally seperate.

A Thank You Gift for each Bridal Party Member should be an item that you  choose personally… and fits each girl’s personality.  It should be an  item outside of what is happening in your Wedding… and the Thank You Gifts  should not be all matchy-matchy (ie getting everyone the same set of earrings)  as that implies that you didn’t do any real thinking on the subject besides  walking into one store and ordering 3 identical things.

Nothing wrong with getting the girls earrings IF that is what they’d like /  are into.  BUT then you’d be selecting earrings that would fit each girl’s  style (bearing in mind that you want to spend the same aprox amount on each  girl).

Stuff to think about,

== end ==

So altho your list of items sounds great so far… as all of them are REQUIREMENTS for the Wedding… at this point NONE of them are Thank You Gfits

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 5
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would pay for hair/makeup if you want it done. If you want THEM to pay, I would make it optional. Personally I wanted it definitely done so I paid for it. But also hair/makeup for my girls is the same cost as their dress ($140 for each), so, you know. I think as long as the shoes are whatever they want in a specific color, I’d let them pay (mine were silver shoes, any style as long as they were silver, and while my girls all already own silver pumps they chose to buy new shoes, but they didn’t HAVE to), but if you have an exact specific style… idk.

 

and a copypasta from This Time Around…

 

From an Etiquette perspective…

 

Bridal Party Gifts come in two categories…

 

The things that you give to the Bridal Party as part of the Wedding… so when it comes to the LADIES (same rules apply to the Groomsmen as well) … if you decide to pay for any of the following… Dress, Shoes, Purses, Hair, Make-up, Jewellery, Getting Ready Robes…etc

 

ALL OF THESE THINGS do not go towards the concept of Thank You Gifts

 

That is totally seperate.

 

A Thank You Gift for each Bridal Party Member should be an item that you choose personally… and fits each girl’s personality.  It should be an item outside of what is happening in your Wedding… and the Thank You Gifts should not be all matchy-matchy (ie getting everyone the same set of earrings) as that implies that you didn’t do any real thinking on the subject besides walking into one store and ordering 3 identical things.

 

Nothing wrong with getting the girls earrings IF that is what they’d like / are into.  BUT then you’d be selecting earrings that would fit each girl’s style (bearing in mind that you want to spend the same aprox amount on each girl).

 

Stuff to think about,

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/what-bridesmaid-gifts-can-they-use-again#ixzz2PkSAwTme

Post # 6
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I Should add…

From a North American perspective (unfortunately your WBee Profile doesn’t say where you are from)…

The Bridal Party pays their Transportation to the Wedding

The Bride & Groom pay for their Accommodations, and all transportation at the Wedding Location for the Bridal Party (so to the Rehearsal, Rehearsal Party, to the Wedding, to the Reception, back to the Hotel)

The Bridal Party also usually pays all their own expenses … so Dress, Shoes, Hair, Make Up etc

BUT if a Bride wants something specific (beyond the Dress) then she would pay for it… so if you want them all to have matching shoes, jewellery etc… then that is YOUR expense to cover.

Hope this helps,

PS… IF you have more Questions just ask.

 

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