(Closed) DW why is it looked at as a burden?

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 181
Member
3108 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
PenguinCandy:  Did you really just pull the “too bad for you that your social circle is poorer than mine” card? 

Post # 182
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
juliaGG:  i actually love to host people, but i do honestly feel that there has been a trend with weddings that has skewed things to the point that guests & bridesmaids don’t feel they need to adhere to any level of etiquette themselves. they can demand to be allowed to bring children to an adults only wedding, throw fits about dress code, timing, event location, type of wedding…etc. i mean, at what point does it no longer become an “inconsiderate” bride and groom and become obnoxious guests? that was sort of what i was getting at, but i guess i am alone in that opinion and that’s cool.

i mean, i get it, people can’t just pack up and go on vaca because another couple decided to have a Destination Wedding. i totally understand. i am not completely detached. however, there were people all pissed off that they even received an invitation. i think that is a bit much… i mean, after reading many posts, i feel like a lot of times brides and grooms can’t win, if they invite people, people get annoyed. if you don’t invite people, they get hurt and upset. THAT is more what i was referring to.

 

Post # 183
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
cmbr:  i was being completely facetious which is why the blessed was in quotes…

but clearly, i am coming across like a pissed-off, spoiled brat…which is not the actual case, soooooo i am going to quietly take my opinions and leave this thread. 

Post # 184
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

We’re going to a Destination Wedding in November. I am soooooo not excited. Its my SOs friend that is getting married, so it will be all his family and friends.

I have met quite a few of the friends going but they aren’t my friends and I really really don’t want to spend, whats supposed to be my vacation, with them. But my SO is friends with them so he will want to. I’m super shy and find it hard to connect with these people, not to mention we have zero in common.

I’m trying to ignore the whole wedding part in my head and just think of it as a vacation. I will spend it how I want aside from obviously going to their actual wedding. The other five days I’m there will be what I want, even if that means making friends with some other vacationers there …still dreading it.

Nothing quite like feeling like a social outcast on my super awesome “Vacation”.

Post # 185
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Hmmm–I didn’t know attending a Destination Wedding was such a hardship on people. Wow, I guess when they were mailed/emailed the invite it had a ransom note to go with it–*sarcasm*. Seriously people…you don’t want to go, budget to go, yadda yadda yadda…don’t go!! Grow a backbone and say NO. 

I use the common sense I was born with and analyze my time, budget and other “factors” and decide if I want to do something or not. You’ve got to be kidding me with the explanations on here….lol. 

Post # 186
Member
6549 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
BusyLABee:  except people know it makes their friends and family members sad when they decline, and nice people try not to hurt their friends or family members’ feelings.  It becomes a chicken-and-egg thing, where the bride/groom really need to have thick skin and be prepared for a lot of declines when they plan a Destination Wedding, but the guests aren’t sure that won’t be hurtful so they say Yes when they don’t really want to go.  At least, that’s what nice people do.

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/not-many-people-coming-to-my-wedding-sad-rant/

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/a-lot-of-rsvp-declines-and-feeling-sad-anyone-else/

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/half-our-guests-declined-and-i-feel-disappointed-and-awful-at-3-weeks-out/

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/rsvp-decline-despite-guest-getting-std-rant/

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/extremely-hurt-038-sad-that-my-best-friend-moh-is-not-coming/

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/best-friend-not-coming-to-my-dw-am-i-overreacting/

 

Only about half of these are specifically about DW’s but the concept is the same. Not everyone has the spine or the stomach to let someone they love down by declining their wedding invite. You can decide to do whatever you want but you can’t call someone else spineless for basically following some pretty normal social expectations.

 

Post # 187
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
Horseradish:  Not about to read what you’ve researched. I am the nicest person around, yet I’m an adult who knows her budget and time and hope people can understand. I’m pretty sure most couples already know when they have a Destination Wedding most people will decline. Sorry…in the end only YOU know you’re current situation so again…put your big girl panties on and grow the heck up and say yes or no. But don’t complain about it after. If the couple doesn’t understand your decline…be it family, friends or whatever they are petty and childish and also need to grow up. Done commenting…lol

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by BusyLABee.
Post # 188
Member
549 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
Beautyandthebusiness:  Well….because it’s a week not a day, you have to pay to board animals, babysit kids, take off work if you don’t have vacation pay etc.

I’m not complaining, I’m going to my first one in Nov!!! I am SO excited, I get to see my friend from grade 5, marry the man of her dreams!!!

We have 500% started to and will take advantage of this trip! My Girlfriend has upgraded suites, flights, planned a spa day etc. 

Post # 189
Member
549 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
MissStoGee:  We’re going to one in Nov too! We also know no one! We have just decided to treat this as a couple’s vacation, go all out, spas, adventures, upgraded everything….I suggest you just live it up and reserve some alone romantic time..now!

Post # 190
Member
10489 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

 

View original reply
j_jaye:  Well I dunno about that (I’m in Australia too) Nobody who is still working in my family could get time off easily  and much as I love to  travel I don’t want to go to Hayman Island or wherever  for days and  spend the time with relatives of someone else .

Plus there are several older family members who simply couldn’t cope with the travel and  boats    and sharing  of accomodation etc and yet would  be very sad to miss the wedding of someone dear .

Not  so bad if it is just in another city a plane ride away of course.

Post # 191
Member
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’m sure this has been said. A sometimes destination wedding are unavoidable. I no longer in my hometown and have long lost ties with my high school friends. He also does not life in his hometown although he immediate family does. Our friends are scattered around the country and the world. We do live in Vegas so while it’s not a Destination Wedding for us, it is for family and half our friends. Selfish? Maybe but there wasn’t an option that wouldn’t be Destination Wedding for the majority of our guests. To make up for it was are having a rehearsal dinner for family and the people to traveled to us, plated meal, open bar, transportation and blocked a bunch of rooms at a resort so they can have a $200 a night discount. Hey can stay anywhere they wish, many are. And it’s Vegas, it has an appeal to our friends and family. Some have declined and that is completely understood. 

Post # 192
Member
10489 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
Artie52:  There is no ‘extreme hatred’ ( good lord do you really class comments on this thread as ‘extreme hatred’ ? You must live a very sheltered   life,  lol)

What there actually is, is a  lot of comments answering  the OP’s question about it  being a burden,   some  are a bit more  more  vehement than others , that’s  all.  

The topic ‘DW why is it looked at as a burden?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors