(Closed) DW with home reception question….

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2870 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Maybe not a full blown reception, but all go to a restaurant after? Something low key where they could come if they would like to. Otherwise they can venture out at the location of your Destination Wedding.

Post # 3
Member
2122 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

You still need to have a reception at your destination wedding. It’s not fair for people to pay money and come all that way, just to witness your ceremony and nothing else. Thank them with dinner and a small, simple reception. You risk offending and angering your guests otherwise.

Post # 4
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Sorry but yes, a reception there is kind of required.  I’m having a Destination Wedding too and on a tight budget, but I’d do everything in my power to have some kind of reception.  Ours is about $80 each, so it could be worse for sure, but if all our maybe turn into yes then we’re looking at at least another 1k.  Not what we planned, but it’s what’s right for everyone traveling to be with you.

Post # 5
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would definitely provide some type of refreshment at the actual wedding. I would make the home reception smaller or less fancy in order to do so.

We are most likely doing a cake and coffee reception, but we’re having a hometown church wedding at 2 pm…the time, setting and general vibe all play into what guests expect, imo. 

Post # 6
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Give your actual wedding guests a reception and turn your at-home reception into an open house with a little food.  

Post # 7
Member
1206 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Yes, especially for a Destination Wedding. Why not cut some out of your budget for your home reception to feed the people who are spending their time and money to come to your wedding (even if it’s $10-15 a person, I’m sure you could cut $300 somewhere from food, booze, or decorations from the home reception)? It doesn’t have to be a fancy reception, you could go to a casual restaurant, but you really need to do something.

 

Post # 8
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017 - Sea Cider

annonbride2016:  what about something simple – champagne and appys only? some dancing? nothing super formal. limiting to one type of alcohol will help your budget, and you can do a food truck or something for “local flavor” on a budget. 

no Destination Wedding reception at all IS in poor taste.

Post # 9
Member
6864 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Sounds as if you already know the answer–yes, if people are spending significant time and money to attend your wedding you must provide some sort of reception. How about a morning wedding and a brunch reception? Or perhaps your venue can set up a clam bake or pig roast or something that is fun but less costly per person? Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

annonbride2016:  Sorry – I know you knew it was coming but I think you have to grit your teeth and incur more costs to provide a good reception for those guests who have committed so much of their time and money to attend your wedding at a destination you chose that is far from home. I would cut back on the home reception rather than treat your Destination Wedding guests anything less than generously.

Post # 11
Member
7430 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Holy cow, you’d actually expect people to pay for airline tickets to a Destination Wedding and you want to skip out on at least buying them dinner?!?!?!?!!?!?  Skip your at-home reception entirely if that’s what you need to do. You guests  are incurring some pretty significant costs to attend your wedding. You need to make them a priority!!!

Post # 12
Member
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - City, State

No… just no.

You need to have a reception for your Destination Wedding guests. They’re the ones traveling to be present at your wedding!!! If anything, THEY deserve the actual reception over those at home.

Post # 13
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Fellow Destination Wedding bride here, I think you really need to have a reception at the Destination Wedding. It would be very rude IMO to not treat them to at least a dinner reception even if you can’t afford a party, people can go to a night club after for a party. I would cut as much as possible (all if I had to) from my AHR to have a reception at the Destination Wedding.

Post # 14
Member
6833 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

annonbride2016:  I’m also having a Destination Wedding and a large at-home reception but I’m DEFINITELY throwing a reception at the Destination Wedding as well. I think it’d be rather rude to ask friends and family to pay all this money to come to my Destination Wedding and then not even give them a meal and some drinks. 

I’m sorry more people RSVP’d then you planned on hosting, but that’s why they tell you never to count on people NOT coming. 

Post # 15
Member
2001 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

annonbride2016:  Agree with the others, you definitely need to pay for a meal for your guests who have come so far. Although I saw recently on the bee someone saying they expected their guests to pay for their own meal after the wedding ceremony (destination wedding). Lots of bees pointed out that that is inappropriate.

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