- 5 years ago
I was good friends with 3 other girls (Mary, Kate, Ashley), but over the last few years I’ve become closer to Mary and Ashley and Kate became really close to each other, but we’d still hang out together. In the last year the Kate and Ashley have been hanging out with Mary, but not so much with me.
To make it more interesting, Ashley is my SO’s sister and I’ve known her for longer than I’ve been with SO. She asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding last year with Kate as the Maid/Matron of Honor, and Mary also a bridesmaid. Even during that time they’d tend to exclude me, but I didn’t think too much of it. I was and still am in Darling Husband school and figured they thought I was busy. What struck me as odd though, sometimes whe I was hanging out with Mary, she’d mention texting the other girls to see what they were up to and if they wanted to join us. I was like wait a minute here, how come I don’t get texts when the three of them get together to see if I want to hang out. It’s not a matter of time or distance, because it’s been clear from Mary’s FB that they are hanging out at the mall together which is literally a 5 minute walk from my house at a time I’m at home doing nothing and have been text messaging with Mary so she knew I was home.
I was still friendly with Kate and Ashley and I’d of course send them messages on their birthdays, buy them gifts, and join them for dinner.
Yesterday was my 30th birthday and I got no happy birthday from either of them. I’m trying SO hard not be bothered because it seems so childish, but at the same time I think it’s a sign that they aren’t that invested in the friendship anymore and I need to let it die. I kept trying to tell myself that they probably had a good reason, were busy, just forgot, or something. But…Kate was on FB all day making updates about her day. I’m pretty sure she that even if she honestly forgot my birthday, she’d have seen the FB birthday notification thing. So I just don’t known.
And Ashley…she has never and would never forget my birthday. For her to not even text happy birthday, it says a lot. I’m trying to understand what happened and don’t even know if there is something I did that I’m not aware of. I know friendships grow apart, but this just feels so strange and it really hurts. Mary and I are still close, but she always brings up things that she did with Kate and Ashley or commenting on what’s going on in their life and it hurts to hear about it when I’m being excluded from it.
I just wanted to get this off my chest because it’s bothering me and I really have no one to talk to about it.