(Closed) Dysfunctional family members don’t support our parenting choices rant.

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Perhaps they are jealous ?

 

In the same respect, It seems as thoughyou think you know better and your children wil be superior-I’m sure they get that vibe.

Post # 4
Member
46455 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Do you come across the same way to them as you do here? It could be a bit off-putting to them.

When all is said and done, part of gaining maturity is the ability to follow your own path and not get bent out of shape by what other people say or do.

Post # 5
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It may appear to them from the outside that your life is somewhat ‘perfect’. You have two well behaved girls, you don’t have the day to day drama that your SIL and her SO seem to have. They may be saying these things because they feel it is the only place that they can hurt you – all people know that questioning another’s parenting style is a sure way to hurt someone – or at least piss them off.

Based on what you have shared about your SIL lately, I don’t think she is in the right state of mind to be saying things that you should take to heart. I think all you would need to say if the subject comes up again is, “This is the choice Darling Husband and I have made regarding our girls’ upbringing, thank you for your concern”…or something to that effect. It leaves no opening for the conversation to continue.

Post # 7
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

As a fellow homeschooling mom I can identify. My mom has a lot to say about my decisions but I don’t let it phase me in the least. She made her decisions along time ago and has reaped the results. 🙁 I am now making my decisions and I too will reap the results. YOU have to do what you feel in your heart is right for your family. Only time will tell if you made the correct decision but don’t let what other people say bother you. Some of the most phenomenal people I know where homeschooled as were many of the founding fathers.

Post # 8
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MrsFuzzyFace: Word. I’m big on homeschooling and a Believer mysef. I realize you are just venting 🙂 I wouldn’t let it bother you but rather keep giving lots of love to the situation and be an example to those teens. What they have been subject to is rough.

Post # 9
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@julies1949:  That’s what I was thinking too.

Post # 11
Member
5766 posts
Bee Keeper

While for me it would be hard to do, but I’d ignore them. Having well-behaved and sheltered children is a GOOD thing, especially at their current ages. If you feel uncomfortable or attacked while around them, I’d limit my exposure to them and their brood. You don’t need to explain how you parent your children to ANYbody.

Post # 12
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My frame of reference is different.  I was a homeschooled child until I began attending an early-college charter school my sophomore year in highschool. The “social” question is really not about the location of your school as much as it is the quality of the parenting. 

My mother sounds very much like you – conservative and committed to giving us what she felt was best for us.  She often encountered people like your sil and children.  Her response was always a cheerful “Nope!  We aren’t worried!  It’s working great for us!”.  Then she would usually change the subject.

My advice is to just enjoy the years in homeschool with your children.  I loved it.  Loved the closeness with my mother and my siblings.  Loved how much I was able to learn and how I was able to learn it.

 

 

Post # 16
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Keep in mind that her kids are mouthy and lazy, so we are not interested in duplicating the results she has gotten.

I’m worried that you’re creating an us vs. them mentality.  Be careful with that because you could be emulating this in front of your children which could only make things worse between your kids and their cousins.  You are family, stop judging her family and perhaps she’ll stop judging yours.  Be kind when they question your parenting techniques.

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