(Closed) Dysfunctional family

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t know your specific situation so I can’t say with 100% certainty what you should or shouldn’t do, but I think un-inviting anyone in your immediate family from your wedding will create more drama.

Also, for the most part, an invited wedding guest is allowed to bring a date if the “date” is 1) married to the guest, 2) engaged to the guest, and/or 3) living with the guest.  Especially when it’s your own mom.

DH’s mom and her long-haired, tattooed, biker boyfriend (who’s never even lived with her) were both at our wedding, and it didn’t ruin anything.  I don’t know if he said anything stupid to anyone at the wedding, but even if he did, it wouldn’t change what any of my loved ones think about me or Darling Husband.  However, it WOULD have most likely resulted in a huge fight if we didn’t let him come.

Post # 5
5 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

My personal opinion – Invite the people who you feel respected by. If this isn’t a traditional, large wedding, do not feel obligated to make it one! If you goal is to be surrounded by people who love you, treat you with compassion, and support your marriage, then make it happen. Family issues aren’t (in my humble opinion) supposed to be worked out through a guest list.

Post # 6
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@mobiusbox:  Unfortunately, the answer to all the drama is not to create more drama. 

Uninviting your sister and/or or choosing to break up a couple is making drama and poor etiquette. 

I’d have taken the higher road let sister still be invited and invite your mother and her boyfriend as they are an item. 



(unless they’ve done you enormous harm like sexual or physical abuse, like really really dysfunctional.)

Post # 7
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I agree with trying to avoid drama.  Think of the long term.  What will you regret more in 5-10 years?  Causing your mom to miss out on the wedding? Allowing your mom to come with her boyfriend and cause a few awkward moments?  It depends on the severity of the consequence of each scenerio.

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