Post # 1
Ok so I need some help… I previously posted about my Future Sister-In-Law, read the post here (I commented later on it with something else that happened)
Problems with future SIL
Since then, I haven’t really spoken to her. I saw her for FMIL’s birthday but we didn’t talk besides hi and bye. Fiance is getting annoyed with me because I haven’t made an effort to speak with her to try to work it out (she hasn’t tried either)… So now I’m writing her an email. Tell me what you think. I’m trying VERY hard to be nice in it. Suggestions? Help? Thanks!
We haven’t really spoken since you called me a couple months ago so I’m not really sure where we stand. I need to tell you that I was very offended by some of the things you said to me. I’m not sure if you really meant the things you said, or if you were just caught up in the moment and letting out your frustrations with BROTHER/FI on me instead. I’ve been trying not to take the things you said personally, but it’s been very hard and I am hurt. I ultimately want us to have a good relationship and hope you do too. Like I told you that day, I asked you to be a bridesmaid because I want you to be one. I told you I would leave the decision up to you, of whether you want to be one or not. Please let me know where we stand.
Post # 13
To be honest, I think weddings make people crazy. Unfortunately, they make crazy people even crazier. I’m not certain you can expect a reasonable apology from her, at least not before the wedding is done and dusted.
Until then, if you want to try and mend bridges, I would suggest taking the higher road and showing that YOU are being totally reasonable. I always try to make myself completely blameless in these situations, and then no one can ever point the finger and say any of it was my fault. At the end of the day, if you have made the effort and she doesn’t reciprocate, it only looks bad on her.
Here is how I personally would handle your email:
Hi Future Sister-In-Law,
I wanted to get in touch because I feel that the last time we spoke we didn’t really end things on positive note. I understand that we both left our last conversation feeling a little hurt, but now that we have both had time to relax and think over what was said, I’m hoping that we can start afresh.
Please know that Fiance and I both feel it’s really important to us to have you share in our special day, whether it’s taking part as a bridesmid or simply being there to witness our vows. Either way, we’ll just be happy to know that such an important family member is there to support us.
I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to move past the hurt feelings and contact you, but I hope that we are both now ready to apologise, move on and build a great relationship.