Post # 1
So me and my BF have been dating for a while now and I think he’s the one and vice versa and we’ve talked about getting married but we don’t want to get “engaged” until he’s done school (this time next year)
He told me that he started saving up for my ering. He knows I have my heart set on Tacori but I know that getting the diamond with the specs I want just isn’t feasible.
Now, my parents got divorced a couple years back and my mom gave me her 15th anniversary ring. It has a 1.00ct diamond center stone that sparkles like glitter (blue nile signiture cut with amazing specs). I really want a 1-1.5ct stone (if I get the 2620 I want 1.5ct and if I get 2623 I want a 1ct).
We all know that diamond resale value is low, and I told my BF that I want to set my mom’s diamond as my center stone but he is SOOO against it! We are still students and if I don’t set my diamond then I will probably get a 1.5ct moissanit into the 2620 tacori setting until he can save up for the diamond. But I just love the diamond I have and I don’t get why he is so against it…
I told my bestfriend that that is what I want to do and she thinks it makes no sense for me to put my own diamond into my setting and that he should be getting it for me.
I don’t see what’s so wrong with it, but is it totally rediculous to use my mom’s stone or are they just overreacting?
Excuse the massive picture but this is the ring..
Post # 3
I think it makes sense to use your mom’s ring, but if your SO is against it then I probably wouldn’t push it. I’d understand why he might feel a bit emasculated.. like what he can afford isn’t good enough for you. I’d want to do the same thing as you, honestly. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing this.
Post # 4
@blushpink13: I say use your moms fabulous diamond. I see nothing wrong with that. I would definitely want a diamond over a simulant in my engagement ring!. I would have another talk with him to see what his actual objections to this are.
Post # 5
A lot of people pass down diamonds. It means a lot to the person passing it down and the person getting it. I see no reason not to use your mothers stone. Let him know if it has sentimental value to you. That may help. I would have loved to have my mothers diamond?
Post # 6
My friend’s e-ring has her mom’s original diamond in it and I thought that was really neat and thoughtful. I would have loved to use a family diamond. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. Have you asked why he is so against it? What would you do with it if you don’t use it for an e-ring?
Post # 7
If SO is uncomfortable with it, he’s uncomfortable with it. Which is silly, since you have an incredible stone you could use!
But for some men, it’s a sign of his ability to be a good provider/manly.
Post # 8
I would try to talk him into using it. It is from your mom, and the sentiment there is lovely.
Post # 9
@blushpink13: It’s an heirloom! I understand your SO wanting to pay for all of it himself but he needs to check his ego and listen to what you want. I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t be on board with it if it’s what you want and it’s from family.
Post # 10
If you already own a beautiful diamond and can’t easily afford to buy another one, I would definitely use the one you have!
Post # 11
@blushpink13: Use the one you have! I would have loved to have a family diamond, but we didn’t have one for a variety of reasons.
I can understand if he’s not into it, but perhaps see if there’s a similar 1ct diamond from his side of the family and put the two diamonds together with a center stone he buys as a trilogy ring? That way, it symbolizes combining your families into a new one.
Just a brainstorm… I think it’s so cool to pass down jewelry and gems 🙂
Post # 12
@blushpink13: I don’t personally believe using your own diamond is ok b/c I’m kind of traditional and would want my own diamond, with a fresh start. However, some women really are ok and if it’s fine with SO, then go for it.
But this apparently bothers him, so I would not do it. If you love it, get it made into a necklace. Further, it wasn’t like (from what you have written) that this family stone has been in your family for ages and ever since you were a little girl you dreamed of this diamond in your e-ring. It sounds like you are desiring your specs and found a way to get them, so you are reasoning it out.
And that is why I think it bugs your SO…but I’m just speculating.
Post # 13
@blushpink13: It is definitely not ridiculous to use your mom’s diamond, but if your SO really doesn’t want to, you should probably just respect his wishes. That being said, perhaps he doesn’t realize that jewelry, diamonds, etc. often get past down from one generation to the next. You could tell him that having your mom’s diamond would mean a lot to you, if in fact it would, and that he could get you an amazing setting and wedding band.
Is that your mom’s ring in the photo? I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but it looks smaller than a 1 carat. Perhaps your ring size is bigger than I’m imagining though (you have very nice hands by the way!)…Either way, it’s a beautiful diamond.
Post # 14
@blushpink13: I can understand why your fiance is against it, because your parents are divorced, he may view the diamond as tainted. No judgment here, my parents are also divorced and I think I’d feel the same way.
Post # 15
Your SO probably thinks the diamond is “tainted” as it’s been through a divorce, but the truth of the matter is that objects do not hold on to memories themselves…we assign them meaning. I think it would be kind of ridiculous to not use the stone as it would save y’all thousands of dollars, and it sounds like you love it. Ultimately it’s a decision you both have to agree to, but him thinking the stone (if that’s his problem) is going to make or break your marriage couldn’t be further from the truth.
Post # 16
@foz: I think another issue is my family is better off than his and he feels like he has to prove himself to my dad and using my mom’s ring (that my dad originally bought) makes him feel like he’s being “cheap”. But, yes it is my mom’s ring but I have massive size 8 fingers 😉 1 ct looks smaller on my hands but in person the diamond sparkles so much, making it look much bigger. I really want to set it in a halo setting!
@Coral99: If I don’t end up using it I’ll probably set it into a rhr. I think he just feels like it would be emasculating not to buy it himself. The ring is from blue nile so I asked him if we could just trade it up for a bigger diamond and that way we don’t lose out on its value because I definately would not be able to sell it for what my dad would have bought it for.. but even that he’s not okay with.
@BrandNewBride: I think that’s exactly what it is !
Ahh so much to think about!