(Closed) e-ring etiquette?!?

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 17
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I have my mom’s e-ring and am using it as my own. My Fiance has had a difficult time dealing with the fact that he did not pay for anything. He asked if I would be willing to set it as a pendant or wear it as a RHR and I was not willing.  It is so important and special to me to have my mom’s ring that I would not want a different one. I feel it honors her and reminds me of her every time it sparkles. Can you try explaining to him that the stone means so much to you because it is your mom’s and that it has nothing to do with the money?  He can buy you the setting you love and an amazing wedding band to go with it. I know you need to be respectful of how he feels, but he also should be respectful of how you feel, what you want, and why it is important to you. 

Post # 18
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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@blushpink13:  I think it’s because your parents got divorced. 

Post # 19
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@blushpink13:  I’d use your mom’s diamond. I think it’s really special to keep stuff like that with you. I think men can feel emmasculated sometimes or get insecure if they haven’t paid for the whole thing. The way I see it, that stone has sentimental value. He has the rest of your lives to buy you other sparklies. 

Post # 20
Member
576 posts
Busy bee

@blushpink13:  if it were just your friends saying your crazy I would say brush it off. But since your boyfriend isn’t comfortable I wouldn’t push it. You could try one more time, explaining how spending the money on your wedding or honeymoon or something would be more important to you and you’d love to save where you can, then just ask him to think about it. However if after that he is still against it, I’d relent. 

In the end, you’ll just have a pretty right hand ring, you can reset the ring into a pendant/necklace. Or maybe trade it it to blue Nile for some other bridal jewelry. You could try and sell online, you’d get note than at a pawn shop or something and then put that money towards the wedding or even an engagement watch for him. 

Post # 21
Member
3167 posts
Sugar bee

Don’t hurt your BF’s feelings over a lump of crystalised carbon.  The biggest, most impressive diamond in the world is nothing compared with a real human being.  

 

Choose something pretty and affordable and very different from your mother’s ring.

 

 

Post # 22
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Maybe explain that because tacori settings are more than most diamonds, you rather him honor your mothers heirloom from your father while still having a ring of your dreams. This way he can understand that many people cannot afford such a name brand and the fact that he wants to get the perfect style for you would be so sentimental compared to trying to custom make a similar look a like. Not sure if that helps. 

Post # 23
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I dont see anything wrong with it, but I dont see anything wrong with the way he feels either. You guys have to just decide whats good for you as a couple. You always have the option of wearing your mom’s ring on your right hand.

Post # 24
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

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@gemgirl6:  I don’t really think moissanite is a simulant? After all, the OP was talking about moissanite. 

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@blushpink13:  I get the vibe that your SO doesn’t want to use it because your parents are divorced. I actually understand that… I’d get the moissanite whilst you/SO saves for the diamond you’d like! I don’t see the harm in that. 🙂

Post # 25
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

 

 

@LeSpice: . moissanite *is* a simulant. Unlike true synthetic gem stones,  no gem quality moissanite/silicon carbide exists or has ever existed in nature. The original mineral silicon carbide is green black n miniscule. All moissy in jewelry is synthetic silicon carbide that has been chemically altered at the Cree factory to make it large  n whiter to better imitate a diamond.No question it is a simulant.  Moissanite is a man made created jewel but more durable than cz.they’re both still pretty and affordable

 

@blushpink13:  I hope you can talk him into the diamond. It’s only temporary after all. Then he can buy you a diamond of your dreams someday. Best wishes

 

Post # 26
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

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@gemgirl6:  I’ve read otherwise, that no, there aren’t any jewellery quality supplies of moissanite, it has existed and still to this day exists in nature, in space, and as inclusions in kimberlite (don’t quote me on that last part, but I’m 90% sure) but it is the exact same chemical makeup. Therefore, it’s not a simulant, it’s lab made. 

They’re all beautiful, I agree, but moissanite is not a simulant, it’s synthetic. 

Post # 27
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

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@gemgirl6:  I just went onto your page and noticed you tend to go on a lot of moissanite posts… that’s odd since you clearly dislike moissanite.

Post # 28
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

@LeSpi.ce:  keels no, there’s never been any gem quality moissanite as I explained above. Sure the miniscule green Black mineral silicon carbide exists in nature just as Cz appears in nature as well. Neither can be used in jewelry as they are. Nor are they accurately recreated  Thus neither are gemstones, both are manmade created Diamond simulants. The rest is marketing.Which is why moissanite is measured in Diamond equivalency weight, why the advertising mentions diamonds, why so much effort is made to try to make it whiter. 

Ps the fact that I post info about Moissanite, cz, etc does not alter the validity of the facts. Am sure your ring is lovely.

however, this is hijacking OP’s ThreadIf you would like to continue the discussion please feel free to PM me.

Op–keep us posted. How you get what you want. 

Post # 29
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

While no one can argue that is a beautiful stone, it isn’t worth it to fight with your boyfriend about.  If he really wants to buy you your own ring and a new stone I would just let him.  Someday you may have your mom’s ring and wear it as a right hand ring or even make it a necklace.  Good luck!

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