(Closed) E-ring, picking it out/designing yourself – Any less special?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
1908 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I picked out my e-ring and went with Fiance when he purchased it. It was still special! He loved seeing my face light up when I tried on the ring for the first time in the store. He knew then that putting down that kind of money was worth it and he didn’t have to have any worries about me loving my ring.

He still kept it a secret from me when he would be able to pick up the ring and proposed the day that he did which was a few days after we went to buy the ring.

My Future Brother-In-Law did the same thing with his Fiance. They started looking at rings together back in August. Once she decided on one he bought it, and then waited until a good moment to surprise her with a proposal. She was still surprised when he actually proposed (at the end of a 1/2 marathon) and he was able to know she would love the ring.


Post # 4
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I picked my ring and even saw it before he propsed. It took nothing away from the proposal at all. My Fiance is very happy I have something I love.

Post # 5
50 posts
Worker bee

I picked out my ering with my SO. I am doing the same as you– I won’t know when it’s picked up or the final look (I’ve tried on the setting but in yellow gold with my diamond resting on top) and he will still do a formal proposal (and I won’t know when or how, like you). I think that if you’re going to wear this ring forever and you’re going to spend (likely) thousands of dollars on this ring, then you should most definitely make sure it’s a ring you really love. Picking out your ring is the only way you can make sure you get the ring you really love that you’ll want to wear forever.


Although I did pick out my ering, I do sometimes wonder what my SO would’ve picked out had he picked a ring himself. 


Post # 8
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Love_That_Never_Ends:  I don’t think your engagement ring is any less special because you picked it out! My FH made it abundantly clear to me that he preferred that I pick my ring so that I would end up with something I loved. We shopped together, and I always asked for his opinion, but ultimately, he just wanted me to be happy. I love my ring, and I love that we were open with each other about it throughout the shopping process. Don’t let the haters get you down! 

Post # 9
1580 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Love_That_Never_Ends:  Your “friends” should go take a hike! 

I’m currently in the process of picking out my own engagement ring as well. I love my SO to death but he told me himself that he can hardly tell a princess cut diamond from a round brilliant, all he sees is a bunch of shiny things! lol He’s so cute 🙂 But I digress. 

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with knowing what you want, IMO. I too have a very particular personal taste and style. And it has absolutely nothing to do with being materialistic! For my last birthday, my SO surprised me with a necklace that I was openly admiring a few days before – it cost less than 20 euros but I love it to death, it’s so me! 

I don’t think picking out your own engagement ring makes it any less special, it’s just a way of making sure you will truly love your ring for the rest of your days.  

Post # 10
3146 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Different strokes for different folks 🙂 If picking it out works for you, great.

FTR – I’m a girl who had NO say, at all, in my ring. It was a total surprise (and I adore it!)

Post # 11
6257 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Love_That_Never_Ends:  I chose the setting for my ring *and* we planned a joint proposal, so there was really no surprise aspect but I loved it just as much and we are just as much getting married 🙂 I am just a person who doesn’t care for surprises and that’s ok!! Cannot wait to see your custom ring. Post it when you officially get it!!

Post # 12
1308 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I gave my Fiance three possible rings that I had designed in different price ranges and let him pick.  That way the one that I got was one that I had designed and loved, still be managed to surprise me by adding an inscription.  I love the fact that I got to ‘make/design’ my own ring.

Post # 13
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest


I’m kind of in the same boat as you, except I’ve been a little less involved (I showed him designs and took that design to a local store to be custom made, I got the quote, handed over to him, haven’t said a word since). At first I was super worried about it being less special because I was getting the same crap from my friends and family.

At the end of the day though, your proposal will still be a surprise and the ring on your finger will be something you and you SO created together! And you’ll love it as your forever ring. 

My mom hated her engagement ring (her Mother-In-Law picked it out) and hasn’t worn it for years (she now wears a ring from their 25th anniversary).

I am so happy my SO cares so much about me loving my ring that he got my input (I think my mom’s story scared him into asking me for input). 


Post # 14
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I had been hinting at styles of rings that I would like and was going to leave the decision up to him, but when I started eyeing gemstones instead of diamonds and fell in love with a particular colour of sapphire, my now Fiance wanted me to be involved in the purchase because he wanted to make sure that the colour was what I was looking for. I cannot tell you how exciting it was going with him to the jewerler to look at stones and talk about settings. It felt very special to be doing it together.

They did however, keep the final design hidden from me (i.e. I didn’t see the digital model or anything) and I didn’t know when it was going to be ready. I had a suspicion when he picked it up but then he held on to the ring for another month, so I was definitely suprised when he proposed.

And now I get to look at a ring that I love everyday! I love knowing that we were able to share that experience together and no matter what my friends and family say, it was and will always be special to me!


Post # 15
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Love_That_Never_Ends:  I picked my own ring out, was there when it was purchased, knew when it was arrived and wore it around the house the day I got engaged. My husband still managed to surprise me with the proposal – I had no idea it was coming.

I don’t think it made it any less special. I’m so happy I got the exact ring I wanted and the process of ring shopping was so fun and a special time for my husband and I.  We actually became very close friends with our salesperson throughout the process.  Wouldn’t change a thing.

Post # 16
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Heck NO is it any less special! If you want him to pick out a ring on his own then that is fine, if you don’t and you want something specific, that’s fine too! Your “friends” can shove it, your marriage isn’t any less “real” because you had a say in your ring, wtf! 

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