Post # 1
In another thread about Kate Middleton getting Princess Di’s e-ring, I said, “If I were Kate, I don’t think I would be so happy with the ring, though. I definitely wouldn’t want my MIL’s engagement ring if her marriage to my Father-In-Law had ended in a super messy divorce. It just seems like a bad idea.”
Someone else pointed out that Prince William giving Kate his mother’s e-ring wasn’t supposed to be symbolic of his parents’ marriage, but rather just symbolic of his mom. I believe he was quoted to say that he was sharing something that belonged to his first love with his last. I do think that’s a really nice quote, and the thought behind it is nice. For that reason, if I were Kate, I would have loved to get any other piece of Princess Di’s jewelry as my e-ring.
But not Princess Di’s own e-ring. I don’t think I would be able to move past the fact that it was Princess Diana’s e-ring, which was originally supposed to be symbolic of Prince Charles’ love for her, but then they had such a messy, sad end to their marriage. I’m not superstitious, but I would hate the symbolism of the failed marriage, and I think I would see it every time I looked down at my finger.
Please note, I think the ring is gorgeous; there’s no denying that. Also, if the option were available to my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I, I would love to have an heirloom piece – just not one from an e-ring if the marriage had ended badly. I also wouldn’t mind having a ring from a divorce – say, something my Boyfriend or Best Friend found in a pawn shop, or perhaps something from a jewelry store that had been traded in – so long as I didn’t know. Ignorance is bliss and all that.
So, ladies, what are your thoughts? Would you be okay wearing an heirloom engagement ring from a divorced relative? Why or why not?
Post # 3
I would have no problem with it. I don’t think of items like jewelry as carrying any kind of mojo with them. As far as I’m concerned, no matter the history of the ring, the significance for me would be the intention and emotion of my SO giving it to me. It would represent his desire to spend his life with me, not the failure of his relative’s marriage.
Post # 4
I don’t think it would actualy have an effect on anything (I don’t really believe in bad juju) but I wouldn’t like the symbolism.
The ring was bought as a promise of a commitment to love one another and I’m a firm believer in “until death do us part” – having a ring that was a part of that same promise that was broken just wouldn’t feel right to me.
Post # 5
I have to admit I was surprised when several Bees had this opinion. In the case of William and Kate, it never occurred to me that she might have an issue with how his parents’ marriage ended. I guess I just thought of it as him giving her the ring his mother wore and loved the sentiment behind it.
As for me, my husband’s parents are divorced. I’d still have been honored had he given me his mother’s e-ring, despite the divorce, just because it has that connection to his mother. The divorce aspect of it wouldn’t bother me at all.
Post # 6
I would feel strange about getting a ring that came from a divorce from people we know, but if we got it in a pawn shop or something and had no attachment to it I wouldn’t care.
Post # 7
I think if the relative is deceased I would think it was romantic. If they were alive I would probably feel differently. Of course, I would always make an exception for Princess Di’s ring.
Post # 8
@Mrs.KMM: Exactly. It’s the whole “till death do us part” thing that gets me.
Kate seems okay with it, so more power to her, but I think I’d be upset if I were in her shoes.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t have any problem with this, especially if it was a ring with an important meaning to my Boyfriend or Best Friend, like it was his mother’s ring in Prince William’s case.
Post # 9
I dont believe in a piece of jewelry (or article of clothing like a wedding dress) being “cursed” with bad luck because the original marriage ended badly. Like I said on the other thread, the ring was a symbol of Diana and not of their failed marriage.
I would have been ecstatic to receive an heirloom piece if that was an option for us, regardless of how the original marriage ended. That rings becomes yours and you make it what you want it to be. The fact that a woman wore it and then got divorced doesn’t mean a thing to me.
My aunt wore my moms wedding dress and my parents had a messy separation (15 years later my moms STILL trying to get him to sign the divorce papers – but thats for another thread!). My aunt and uncle have been happily married for like 20 years. The fact that she would be wearing a dress that was worn in a failed marriage never crossed her mind. I too, plan to take pieces of that same dress and incorporate them into my wedding day attire.
Post # 10
I believe in JuJu, I wouldn’t wear a divorced ring. I wont buy a ring from a pawn shop or ebay for that same reason.
Post # 11
I inherited my wedding band from my great-grandmother. My great-grandfather left her and their three kids in the late 1920s. I’ll be wearing the wedding band as an homage to my mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother, who were all very strong women (and obviously, as a symbol of my love and commitment to FI). I really don’t consider the ring to be symbolic of my great-grandparents’ failed marriage. Personally, I don’t believe in bad juju or curses, but I totally respect that some people do. You can’t help the way you feel, so if you feel like a ring from a divorced couple will bring you bad luck, then definitely don’t wear it. I think that sometimes people can make curses become self-fulfilling prophesies.
Post # 12
I would totally be honored to have Princess Dianas, or my Future Mother-In-Law engagement ring, given the circumstances. It is symbloic of Diana, and her loveliness. I don”t think I would ever look down and be reminded of Prince Charles’divorce to her by any means. I really believe I would look down, and wish I had the chance to meet her, and lucky enough to have a piece of her with me everywhere I go. I think it was/is a special gesture stemming from love, and theres no other way to go around it. When I think of Princess Diana, I think of a lovely, mother, woman, public figure that many of us young girls admired, and I don’t think I could ever think any thing otherwise. The symbolism to me is something very different, than what the ring would symbolize to you, which is why I voted the way I did in the poll.
Post # 13
My ring (the diamonds anyway) were from my Mother-In-Law marriage to her 3rd husband/divorce (not even my Fiance father). But, he did raise him so its very significant.
I was fine with it. Its beautiful! Especially because my Fiance took out the diamonds and put it into a different setting to make it unique and different.
And I couldn’t have been happier. 🙂
Post # 14
It is definitely a beautiful ring! I wouldn’t want it for 2 reasons –
1. It is such an esteemed, highly touted piece of jewelry. I would be terrified I would lose it, damage it, etc.
2. I would want something that my Fiance picked out on his own.
I don’t believe in bad karma with jewelry, so all of that other stuff wouldn’t bother me.
Post # 15
I guess what I don’t get about tis whole thread is that it kind of contradicts what all these woman have been saying in all of the other threads. “I would take a crackerjack ring”. So to the woman who say they would NOT want the ring, does this mean you would ACTUALLY tell your SO that you DO NOT want his deceased mothers engament ring?