(Closed) E-rings from a Divorced Relative

posted 8 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you be okay with an heirloom e-ring, even if the previous owner went through a messy divorce?
    Yes, because I don't really care about the ring's history, and it would be a gift from my SO. : (32 votes)
    31 %
    Yes, because I would like that my SO was sharing his family with me. : (33 votes)
    32 %
    No, because I'm superstitious and wouldn't want to bring bad juju down on my marriage. : (11 votes)
    11 %
    No, because I wouldn't like the symbolism, even though it wouldn't have a real impact on anything. : (24 votes)
    24 %
    Other (please explain). : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3378 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I would have no problem with it.  I don’t think of items like jewelry as carrying any kind of mojo with them.  As far as I’m concerned, no matter the history of the ring, the significance for me would be the intention and emotion of my SO giving it to me.  It would represent his desire to spend his life with me, not the failure of his relative’s marriage.

    Post # 4
    Member
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I don’t think it would actualy have an effect on anything (I don’t really believe in bad juju) but I wouldn’t like the symbolism.

    The ring was bought as a promise of a commitment to love one another and I’m a firm believer in “until death do us part” – having a ring that was a part of that same promise that was broken just wouldn’t feel right to me.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1556 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I have to admit I was surprised when several Bees had this opinion.  In the case of William and Kate, it never occurred to me that she might have an issue with how his parents’ marriage ended.  I guess I just thought of it as him giving her the ring his mother wore and loved the sentiment behind it.

    As for me, my husband’s parents are divorced.  I’d still have been honored had he given me his mother’s e-ring, despite the divorce, just because it has that connection to his mother.  The divorce aspect of it wouldn’t bother me at all.

    Post # 6
    Member
    602 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would feel strange about getting a ring that came from a divorce from people we know, but if we got it in a pawn shop or something and had no attachment to it I wouldn’t care.

    Post # 7
    Member
    5787 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I think if the relative is deceased I would think it was romantic. If they were alive I would probably feel differently. Of course, I would always make an exception for Princess Di’s ring.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2214 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I wouldn’t have any problem with this, especially if it was a ring with an important meaning to my Boyfriend or Best Friend, like it was his mother’s ring in Prince William’s case.

    Post # 9
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I dont believe in a piece of jewelry (or article of clothing like a wedding dress) being “cursed” with bad luck because the original marriage ended badly. Like I said on the other thread, the ring was a symbol of Diana and not of their failed marriage. 

    I would have been ecstatic to receive an heirloom piece if that was an option for us, regardless of how the original marriage ended. That rings becomes yours and you make it what you want it to be. The fact that a woman wore it and then got divorced doesn’t mean a thing to me.

    My aunt wore my moms wedding dress and my parents had a messy separation (15 years later my moms STILL trying to get him to sign the divorce papers – but thats for another thread!). My aunt and uncle have been happily married for like 20 years. The fact that she would be wearing a dress that was worn in a failed marriage never crossed her mind. I too, plan to take pieces of that same dress and incorporate them into my wedding day attire. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1986 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I believe in JuJu, I wouldn’t wear a divorced ring. I wont buy a ring from a pawn shop or ebay for that same reason.

    Post # 11
    Member
    569 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I inherited my wedding band from my great-grandmother. My great-grandfather left her and their three kids in the late 1920s. I’ll be wearing the wedding band as an homage to my mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother, who were all very strong women (and obviously, as a symbol of my love and commitment to FI). I really don’t consider the ring to be symbolic of my great-grandparents’ failed marriage. Personally, I don’t believe in bad juju or curses, but I totally respect that some people do. You can’t help the way you feel, so if you feel like a ring from a divorced couple will bring you bad luck, then definitely don’t wear it. I think that sometimes people can make curses become self-fulfilling prophesies.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2548 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would totally be honored to have Princess Dianas, or my Future Mother-In-Law engagement ring, given the circumstances. It is symbloic of Diana, and her loveliness. I don”t think I would ever look down and be reminded of Prince Charles’divorce to her by any means. I really believe I would look down, and wish I had the chance to meet her, and lucky enough to have a piece of her with me everywhere I go. I think it was/is a special gesture stemming from love, and theres no other way to go around it.  When I think of Princess Diana, I think of a lovely, mother, woman, public figure that many of us young girls admired, and I don’t think I could ever think any thing otherwise. The symbolism to me is something very different, than what the ring would symbolize to you, which is why I voted the way I did in the poll.

    Post # 13
    Member
    661 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    My ring (the diamonds anyway) were from my Mother-In-Law marriage to her 3rd husband/divorce (not even my Fiance father).  But, he did raise him so its very significant.

    I was fine with it.  Its beautiful!  Especially because my Fiance took out the diamonds and put it into a different setting to make it unique and different. 

    And I couldn’t have been happier.  🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    5921 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    It is definitely a beautiful ring! I wouldn’t want it for 2 reasons –

    1. It is such an esteemed, highly touted piece of jewelry. I would be terrified I would lose it, damage it, etc.

    2. I would want something that my Fiance picked out on his own.

    I don’t believe in bad karma with jewelry, so all of that other stuff wouldn’t bother me.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2548 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I guess what I don’t get about tis whole thread is that it kind of contradicts what all these woman have been saying in all of the other threads. “I would take a crackerjack ring”. So to the woman who say they would NOT want the ring, does this mean you would ACTUALLY tell your SO that you DO NOT want his deceased mothers engament ring?

    The topic ‘E-rings from a Divorced Relative’ is closed to new replies.

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