- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Our e-shoot is this Friday.
I’m already 9 kinds of nervous because I’m short, chubby and have a life long phobia of getting my picture taken. But I’ve been forcing myself to be positive! I’ve made a couple of cute props! I’ve got a ncie outfit I feel good in! The only thing left I needed to do was cut my hair.
It hasn’t been cut since last Apr. so my ends are HORRIFIC and my bangs are in need of a good trim since I’ve been maintaining them myself and I’m sure they’re all crooked. I admit I sort of waited to the last min and tried to book an appt with my lady 2 weeks ago.
I want to take a moment to say why it has to be this one person. I have super long red hair and any time I go to someone I don’t know, it’s like they get all excited at the length and they want to go crazy! So I like sticking with this one girl who’s my best friends little sister and a prof. hair stylist. She’s doing my hair for the wedding, she knows what i like and how I want it and i always feel FABULOUS after her cuts.
Any who, she didn’t get back to me till this Monday and told me she’s pretty solidly booked all week, but will try to squeeze me in somewhere.
Now, the conflict. My Fiance loves D&D. I played for years (once a week) with him before I decided that I just needed a break. It’s just me and a bunch of guys and I really only do it because my Fiance is the DM and he wants me to be involved and all that junk. But honestly, i just can’t play it that much! I find the boys to be super loud, and obnoxious and i’m burned out of playing. So anyways, about 6 months ago, he’s talking to my twin and her man about starting another game, one a more casual one that’s more like once a month. And because my twin will be there, I say sure. So this sunday, he decided that we need to have a game night this wed! (tonight) and right away I warned him that I was trying to figure out my hair, but he went ahead and organized it for tonight anyways.
So this Morning my hair lady gets back to me, and the only time she has is tonight at 7:45 while she’s dieing someone else’s hair. Which is super nice and accomidating of her! And I’m stoked!
But Fiance isn not.
When i tell him this morning, he turns away and it’s obviousy he’s pissed/annoyed. His reaction hits me like a punch and i get defensive and emotional. Because I feel like he’s saying D&D is more important than my self esteem.
And he says I’m not looking at it from his side… he says I should have come to him more apologetic about this.
But in my head, I a)warned him ahead of time that this might happen and b) why are you planning a game night the week of oue epics when we’re super busy and stressed!! I had to work 6 days last week in order to get this friday off for them. I’m exercising like crazy, eating super good, trying to keep the house clean, trying to be sexy for him, trying so hard to be perfect, on the ball and plan this traditional wedding he wanted so badly and yet he’s going to push all the negativity on me because the only time i could get my hair cut conflicts with this game!?!? BAH! And another thing, the game night goes till 10:30pm! My hair appt is at 7:45, so I’ll miss about an hour or so but i’ll still be there for the end! And another thing, the other players occaisionally miss games for whatever reasons, and he never gets this upset, we just play without them and work it into the story line. But because it’s me, i get treated differently. BAH!
Sorry, I just had to get this out.
He had to leave for work before anything got resolved and now I’m at work trying to stay calm and not obsess about it.
I’m sad that my excitement for the e-pics has been tarnished.
I’m sad that he’s getting so mad at me and throwing in my face that i could have arrange this earlier or that i don’t care about his game.
In my head, epics that were paying for > a game we could play any night that he only arranged 3 days ago!
I know we’ll be ok. This too, shall pass. But i just hate fighting and the feelings that sit in my stomache like lead balls of unhappiness.