(Closed) e-vites to a wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3229 posts
Sugar bee

I love getting a real invitation. I do admit though that I don’t I keep them for any reason. It’s simply not the same.

Post # 4
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I really do not mind them. I leave them on the fridge only to remember the details and then I throw them in the trash.


I would have done evites for mine but my husband really wanted paper ones.

Post # 5
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it takes any formality out of the whole thing.  I think evites are fine for bdays or get togethers, but definitely not for weddings.  This is how you convey the formality of your wedding and sending it via evite just kills that for me.  

Post # 6
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I’m not into them mainly because not everyone uses a computer.

Post # 7
6110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

In my dream world, all my guests would have a computer, would know how to work it, and e-vites would be acceptable. They aren’t obviously as formal but those little bitches can cost a lot of money and people just throw them away.

Post # 8
2490 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think it depends on the style of wedding and the people going.

For us, I would definitely do evites this time around. The invitations for my first wedding were freakin expensive and other than my sister who keeps everything, I can’t imagine anyone actually kept theirs.

I do love getting paper invitations in the mail but I also wouldn’t mind an evite. I got one for a casual Vegas wedding last year and I didn’t think anything of it.

Post # 9
2958 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I personally wouldn’t mind getting an E-vite, but I know most people think it is tacky. I only did online RSVPs, and people think that is tacky, too, but oh well.

Post # 10
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@littlemiss511:  I would think it was a very casual wedding and dress/act appropriately.  An evite is probably fine if you’re having 10-20 people and everyone knows you really well and would understand why you’re sending an evite over a real invitation.  But if it’s a large or formal affair then an actual invitation should be mailed.

Post # 11
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t see anything wrong with them :] But I had pretty inticate handmade invites I did myself so I am partial to those. I must admit I’ve never actually been invited to a wedding as an adult and there’s something that feels fancy about getting an invite in the mail! :] So if my first invite were an e-vite I may be a little disappointed, but I wouldn’t label it “bad ettiquette”. Times are changing!

Post # 12
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

@littlemiss511:  I think they’re much more budget-friendly and sustainable, so I’m all for them – as long as most of the guest list has an email address. We invited a lot of older relatives who don’t email, so it wouldn’t have worked for us. I don’t keep wedding invites unless it’s a family member – otherwise they usually end up in the recycling bin sometime after the wedding when I take them down from our fridge…

Post # 13
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I had a friend who had TONS of money and she had a beautiful wedding.  They used E-vites because they thought getting RSVPs back in the mail would be a nuisance.  I didn’t care.  I didn’t think it was tacky.

It’s just an invitation.  Anyone who is offended or has a strong opinion on how “tacky” or “rude” they are needs to seriously chill out.

Post # 14
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it’s a little ridiculous to use an evite for a wedding honestly. I get that it saves trees and money, but a wedding is a special “once-in-a-lifetime” event, not a BBQ. I think if any occasion deserves cardstock and stamps, it would be this one.

Personally, I’m much more timely about RSVP-ing via mail than I am about evites. I have a tangible reminder to send it back whereas my inbox is full enough already without adding an evite to it.

Post # 15
1696 posts
Bumble bee

Marriage is part of real life. Weddings therefore are part of real life, and should not be a phoney display of formalities and manners that are out of touch with everyday life. Rather, they should be planned using the very best of the manners and forms with which the participants are actually acquainted.

Would you send a formally-worded engraved or hand-written invitation for any other event? Do you routinely “request the pleasure of the company of” guests to non-wedding dinners, receptions or cocktail parties? Yes, of course I do — but I have read where other bees think the very idea of a formal invitation to dinner “would be wierd”. And if that is the world a bride lives in — a world where written invitations are “wierd” and one hundred percent of her social correspondence takes place over the internet — then she is in fact being MORE proper by using e-vites to her wedding. Because artificiality is always in bad taste.

I do love a proper formal invitation, with its stilted invariant wording and the glitter of black India ink or engraving against the stiff white card! But with all the coloured card-stock “invites”, ‘cute and original’ wordings, creative layout, trifolds, suites, jigsaw-puzzles (I kid you not!) and notes-in-bottles (really!) that come through the mail aspiring to pass as “formal invitations”, I think there are a lot of glass houses out in wedding-land filled with brides who cannot afford to be too judgemental about other brides’ choices! Better an honest straightforward evite than some of the less successful attempts at aping tradition!

Post # 16
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I love paper invites and am super excited to do mine. I’ve never gotten an e-invite before, and unless it was a really short time before the wedding (a month or less) I would think it’s kinda tacky.

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