(Closed) Early intviatations to rule out people we don't think can make it anyway…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

How early are you thinking?  If your date above is accurate your still pretty far out invite wise.  Maybe send an eblast or something and see how the response is.

Post # 4
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Jilliebean1:  Nope.  I think the whoel 6 to 8 week rule or whatever it is is a bit silly… people need way more than 6 to 8 weeks to sort out travel and not pay through the nose. 

Post # 5
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think so. Our international people actually told us whether or not they could come based on the save the dates, so it wasn’t a big issue for us, but I’ve been to a couple weddings with RSVP deadlines 3-6 months in advance. Seems early, but it worked for them.

Post # 6
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

There have been posts on here before; people think its presumptious for the bride and groom to want guests to plan their trips or weekends 3-4 months out. So you might get some of that.

 

Honestly though, the “no” RSVPs arrive back way later than the yes.

 

EDIT: The deadline 3-6 months out? Yikes! I would find that a bit rude.

Post # 7
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it’s ok to send out invites earlier for those that have to travel.  But, I think B-lists are rude.

Post # 8
Member
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, don’t presume they won’t come.  My wedding involves 800+ miles of traveling for FIs family, and 500+ miles for mine, and so far, about 80% have booked hotels rooms based on the Save-The-Date Cards alone.

Post # 9
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

As long as it’s not stupid-early, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this. Just make sure the A listers and the B listers arent close with one another. I’d worry about people talking:

“Oh, I got Jillie’s invite in the mail a couple weeks ago, do you think you’ll be going?” “Um, I got mine three months ago….”

Post # 12
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

@Jilliebean1:  E-blast is like a mass e-mail or a FB post – telling a bunch of people your message and them responding to it.

Post # 13
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Jilliebean1:  I agree We are getting married here in MN and his whole family is in Michigan and we have the same issue with our guest list (our max is 100) and we sent ours out already to be able to find out who is willing to travel (and ours is a holiday weekend so alot of people like to go away to cabins camping ect) to help get a good idea on who is coming out of town and then re evaluate our guest list as per the RSVPs which my Future Mother-In-Law is fantastic bout getting on all of them to make sure they respond or alteast tell her and she tells me! so far its working really well! 

Post # 15
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Jilliebean1:  Oh and dont worry we have a Blist too i dont think its rude at all its your guest list and when you have strict limits thats whats best so you can wiggle around with the “you need to invite due to hospitality rules” and some of the people youd want to have there! 

Post # 16
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We are doing something similar. We can only accommodate 200 people in our venue. With family and extremely close friends alone we have 213 invites going out first. A lot of my family live out-of-state/elderly/too many kids and probably won’t make it so we have another round going out once we get the no’s confirmed.

I was going to do all at once, but didn’t want to jinx myself somehow and go over. We will probably end up with more than the standard 20% declines due to travel distance. Some people think it’s bad form/etiquette, but it’s the only way we are able to invite friends + co-workers as well as the necessary family members who probably won’t be coming anyway.

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