Post # 1
Hi! I’ve been stressing out about this a lot recently and hope someone can give me perspective/advice.
Fiance and I have booked our wedding ceremony for next summer. It’s at this goooooooooooooooooorgeous church which is very meaningful to me, but far away from my family or any of our guests. And it’s in high demand so the only time slot we could get on a Saturday is 9 am :(((. I’m on a waiting list to get something later in the day, but it’s all anybody’s guess if someone else will back out at this point.
It’s an ungodly hour for a wedding, so I’m not looking forward to getting up at like 5 am. I’ve also thought about a brunch reception, but Fiance and I both think that sounds kind of lame, as we want a big celebration and lots of dancing and drinking (though I looooove breakfast food). We’re also afraid that many people won’t come because it’s so early. Most of our guests live 2-6 hour drive away. And it would be pretty rude to make everyone come for an early ceremony than make them wait like 4-6 hours for a reception in a city they don’t know? And then have to get a hotel for two nights?
I surveyed my wedding party though and they all prefer a Saturday to a Friday wedding. I’m thinking even fewer people would show up if that were the case.
We could do it back home, but I live in a very rural area and it’s hard to find anything that’s decent and can hold more than 200 guests.
Any advice?? Or should we just make the best of what we have and not worry about accommodating people? :/
This topic was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by Ladybug16.
Post # 2
Althought your bridal party said they would prefer a Saturday to a Friday, I think the alternative (9 a.m. ceremong with 4-6 hour gap) is much worse. Asking your guests to drive 2-6 hours, get a hotel for two nights, then find something to do for half the day before your reception is a bit much. Turnout would probably be pretty low :-\ Also it’s just not a very nice way to treat your friends and family.
Can you change your date to a different Saturday? Maybe try off-season months like March/April or November? It’s hard to believe that the church would be booked every Saturday for a whole year, but I suppose it’s possible.
Best of luck to you!
Post # 3
When is the reception? How much of a gap is there between the ceremony and reception?
If I were an Out of Town guest who lived more than 2 hours away, I’d probably come in the night before an get a hotel. I’d still hate waking up early to go to a 9 AM wedding. Maybe I’d get a hotel even if I lived closer. Because nothing sucks more than waking up early. Idk, I’d be afraid of guests dozing off if my wedding were so early. I also don’t want to get up so early and then stick around all day for a later reception, which will probably leave me very very tired at the end of the day. How long are you expecting guest to be up? 9 am to 11 pm or something?
Post # 4
My very best advice is to do some more planning with your guests’ comfort in mind.
I would pick a different church close to the reception space and have a later ceremony with your reception immediately following. What time does your reception start?
This is already an out of town wedding for most of your guests, like you have mentioned. If these Out of Town guests were to attend the ceremony, they would have to pay for a hotel room for two nights.
If I’m being honest, If I received an invitation like this, I would likely either decline altogether or reserve the hotel room for the night of the reception, drive in that morning so that I could check in to the hotel and shower, and attend only the reception.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
This plan sounds like it would be extremely inconvenient for guests. I think you should do a brunch reception with your current venue, or look for something new / different date where you can do the ceremony nearer to the reception time.
Post # 6
when and where you choose to get married is definitely,your choice, but an early ceremony and a long delay between reception is actually enough to make me not go as a guest or to skip the ceremony. As a bride I refuse to have a long period of time in between. I’m even considering the ceremony and reception to be th same location. It means a church wedding is out which is something Ime having a hard time accepting, but I’ve been thinking about doing an informal ceremony in a church with immediat family the day before or after.
Post # 7
The summer is really the only time that works. We’ll both being finishing up grad school spring 2016 (he’s part-time, I’m full-time) and I for sure will be going crazy with thesis. Graduating in May, then scheduled right now to get married the weekend after… We’re not sure what jobs we’ll have by that point, where we’ll live and when they’ll start. I want to get married soon after graduating, before a job starts because I can’t imagine that they’d let me work a month or two then take off a week or two for a honeymoon.
Post # 8
To be honest, if I was from out of town, I would not attend the ceremony. I don’t think its fair to ask your guests to go to a church at 9 am and then wait all day for the reception. I would guess a good majority would not attend the ceremony.
Also – have you thought about getting ready logistics? I started getting ready at 9 am for my 5:30 pm wedding (had a lot of bridesmaids and did pictures beforehand). If you get up at 5 am, you’re going to be EXHAUSTED.
I think you should find a different church.
Post # 9
I haven’t scheduled a reception time yet. First because I’m hoping for the possibility that a time later in the day for a ceremony will open up. And second because if it doesn’t I’m debating whether to go for a brunch reception with minimal gap between. Or an evening reception with a big party and long gap. 🙁
Post # 10
I thought about maybe having a party on Friday night, and then a Saturday morning ceremony? But that just seemed weird and anti-climactic. It’d be a little strange to celebrate something before it happens.
Yes, using the same location would be easier, but would not solve the timing issue. And also having a church wedding is really important to us. We’d both rather skip the reception than the church 🙂
Post # 11
Whatever you decide, don’t have a long gap. As a guest, I would hate to wait longer than 2 hours, and I think an hour and a half is already pushing it.
Post # 12
I think having a super early wedding ceremony and an evening reception would make it seem to your guests that you don’t care about their comfort or convenience at all. I def would not want to get up early for a ceremony, hang around all day, and then party all night. I think you’re setting yourself up for either a lot of guests skipping the ceremony, or no-showing to the reception.
It can be tough to have to compromise your idea of your perfect wedding, but it seems that in this situation, you’re going to have to choose between this particular ceremony location and the evening wedding you’ve imagined.
Post # 13
If you split between an early 9am ceremony and an evening reception, I can almost guarantee that no one but your immediate family will go. That is just not reasonable to ask of your guests if they are traveling to the location.
Post # 14
You should not do a 9am ceremony and late reception. It would seriously piss me off as a guest. But maybe you can do an intimate ceremony with just your family present in the church in the morning? And then only invite guests to the reception.
If it were me I would care a lot more about having all my loved ones with me, and not putting them through a major hassle, than getting married in a particular place.
Why not delay the wedding until you can get a good Saturday spot at the church? I started a new job a couple months prior to my wedding and they let me have 4 weeks off for wedding/honeymoon (of course, that was part of the deal when I got hired ie I negotiated for it).
Post # 15
Is there a different date in the summer? Or maybe earlier? I know that you’ll be working on your thesis, so during that time there’s a ton of “down” time, or rather time that is more controlled by you. Maybe if you found a better day with the time you like in mind it’ll work out better? A long gap doesn’t sound the most fun to be. I know that people in my family who have had a 4 hour window had a lot less people come to the ceremony because they don’t want to have to go to a McDonald’s for a few hours until the reception. Even if you did have events inbetween, people will just be tired of having to be dressed up for that long of a day.